Kari McElroy’s graphic story of a young sex worker begins here.
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And the Girl: A Comic by Kari McElroy (NSFW)
June 10, 2012 By 68 Comments
About Kari McElroyKari McElroy lives in Indianapolis with her husband, 3 dogs and a fat cat who hates them all. Kari is not a man, but assumes if she was, she'd be a good one. Follow Kari on Twitter @ReDandelions.
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[...] cannot base your opinion on Pretty Woman or an embarrassingly ill-informed comic built upon the same tired stereotypes that get churned out [...]
Oooooooh, engaging!! More, please!!!
Interesting story. Has a real human feel to it. This will surely be a hit come July.
It is a good story, but the whole thing of a sad, sad prostitute, disconnected from people, doing hard drugs, failing at what’s considered the normal life path, it all seems like a horrible cliche. She mentions the media presentation of prostitutes having each other’s backs, etc. but the stereotype of prostitutes as doing drugs, terrible personal lives, and ultimately suffering from their trade is FAR more common and believable to most people. The idea of prostitution has been incompatible with our concept of a proper healthy woman for longer than than the modern concept of a proper healthy woman has been around.
This story almost has more to do with the character’s confidence than profession. She found it easier to disconnect the world than the tackle college, and thus sought out the one job where admittedly, disconnecting is part of the job description. I would predict that she eventually ends up in college anyway, after having a climatic “I believe in you!” moment, presumably majoring in psychology. Assuming the prostitue protagonist isn’t tragically killed off as a warning to all the little girls to stay in line and hit the books like a proper modern woman.
We’re slowly embracing the idea of a woman seeking pleasure from sex, but we still wholeheartedly reject the notion of a woman seeking profit from sex.
I have to admit that this comment made me smile as I am a former prostitute going back to school…to take psychology
But yes, I agree with this whole comment.
Somehow or another, this seems terribly inauthentic. I mean, I’m sure that some prostitutes have this very story. I’m sure many of them don’t.
Unless the author is telling her own story, and I assume not given the 3 kids, husband and hateful cat, but I don’t (of course) know.
Just seems like the usual claptrap we hear in the media. How about we hear about the guy’s point of view for once? How about on a sustained basis? That sure would be different and remarkable.
Anyways…
I suppose it fills the pages…
This is so, so good. I’ve never been quite as immersed in something presented over the web. In just 10 pages the character already has so much depth and intrigue. Your style tells stories, Kari.
Just because a person uses “sex worker” instead of “whore” doesn’t mean that the work is sex-worker positive. This is quite cliched and frankly Victorian in its outlook. A “soiled dove” story done in 90′s nostalgia “indie style,” and put up on the internet for the Concerned and Curious of the present. Very disappointing.
Baahahaha! Wait, this is a parody of anti-sex work cliches right? Please tell me it’s ironic.
This is an awful, awful comic written from a place of condescension and meanness.
There is a lot of hate and anti-woman propaganda in this comic so far. Why is the character working in the sex industry if she hates being a sex worker? She could get a job all kinds of places where she didn’t feel so compromised. Who forced her into sex work? Nobody. Not happening. And the college-fear is ridiculous. If she was so good at high school, she would probably have a smooth transition into college. Most freshmen are nervous and awkward so campuses host freshman orientation programs for assistance. But this character (and by extension, the author) is blaming the world for her decision to incredibly destroy her own life (per her own standards).
Stating that “prostitutes have no friends” is so wrong it hurts. So someone who is a sex worker is subhuman and incapable of interacting with “real” people? Is that the intended message? Because that’s terrible, offensive, whorephobic, insulting, ignorant, and bigoted. And it is the message this comic is shouting at the audience.
* Not going to college is a personal choice (and does not necessitate “failing” at life – stop insulting my friends and co-workers please. trades are just as valuable as professions).
* Becoming a sex worker is a personal choice (which, again, does NOT mean “failing at life.”).
* Hard-drug use is a personal choice (nobody forces anyone to seek out a dealer and throw money at them to produce illegal drugs like heroin).
This comic illustrates people rejecting personal responsibility and blaming outside forces for their own life choices. My dad is borderline, my sister is borderline. Blaming everyone and everything except themselves is characteristic of people with borderline personality disorder. They live in a fantasy world where logic and facts are fluid and can be manipulated any number of ways to distort reality until they are perfect and a victim. Personally, the others in my family call it Queen Baby Syndrome; you are the queen (and perfect and ought to be worshiped and OMG U SO WONDERFUL) or you are the baby (a victim needing coddling and cooing and constant attention). This comic stars a Queen Baby and frankly I have seen enough of that to last a lifetime.
Just mentioning that it has been pointed out to me how I have been insulting and ignorantly disregarding my personal privileges in this (and probably others) response. I impressed personal bias and bigotry and disregard for many groups of people (class, addiction, mental wellness, not to mention -as if it were not obvious- my lack of real knowledge of sex work). For my arrogance and presumption I offer a sincere apology and will do my best to work harder at checking my privilege and avoiding the lazy rout of following stereotypes and other internalized bigotry. And I will shut up and listen.
Another non sex worker who feels qualified to write about sex work because they once knew someone who knew a sex worker or they read a handbook written for sex workers. Or maybe just one more person looking for fame and or fortune by writing stories about us which don’t feature our real voices. Even calling here the girl robs here of a mature voice and sets up the whole exploitation presented here.
Demeaning cliches and stereotypes do not a story make.
I’m going to recommend anyone who reads this comic then goes and reads this critique of it (written by an actual sex worker): http://everythingbutharleyquinn.tumblr.com/post/25499373573/whorephobia-in-feminism-again
Professors of sociology across the country should be thanking Kari McElroy for prompting such a comment stream as above: what an extraordinary example of pretentious, reflexive, hyper-conservative group-think. Under the guise of a pro -sex worker, -feminist, -womanist position, most of these comments have been thoroughly co-opted by that oldest of conservative power-plays: collapse ALL stories into a platonic ideal form, a “OneStory” and make that story amass ALL focus of meaning within it. Then, we can critique every OtherStory by how well it matches up with our OneStory. There can be no multiplicity of voices, no witness-to-experience that does not pay homage to the ubiquitous OneStory. In short, there is no room for the radically “Other.” OneStory to rule them all!!!
What an awful world to root for.
I applaud McElroy for telling me a story, and I won’t judge it based on the first chapter, because that would betray a self-gratifying ignorance in which I hope few are willing to indulge. I’ll withhold my analysis of the truth-telling value of that story until it’s complete. In the meantime, I accept with gratitude another creative witness to this subtle, nuanced, astonishing thing called life.
This comic does not exist in a vacuum. this comic is in fact the regurgitation of the same deprecating story that has been told for at minimum a hundred years (and that’s a low estimate). For a website that supposes to be feminist, this is degrading toward women in story, style, and execution.
There is nothing pretentious about looking out for minority groups and defending the continuation of cultural slurs against them.
There is nothing reflexive about researching what real people really live with and trying to understand how the world is for them. That is pretty much the opposite of a reflex; to do the research is to conscientiously seek knowledge and broaden one’s perspective. It takes time and a concentrated effort.
How is being pro-equality, pro-respect, humanist, or feminist anything close to “conservative,” let alone “hyper-conservative?” Please don’t just throw words around if you don’t understand them.
And nothing is “group-think” about NOT following the norms of cultural acceptance or rejection of taboo subjects. The comic itself is a good representation of internalization of the “group-think” opinions and bigoted views toward sex-workers. Running against the grain is the opposite of group-think, regardless of more than one person having the same (or similar) thoughts.
I *will* judge based on this first chapter. There is a thing everyone knows about called “first impressions.” When telling a story, the first goal is to set the tone of the story and introduce the audience to the ideas explored. Judging a work based on the work is actually a good idea… better than judging a vast group of under-represented and socially deprecated individuals by what media and entertainment have claimed for years in their propaganda.
I don’t think this site actually identifies as feminist, it has a lot of feminists, mra’s, egalitarians, people that don’t like labels, a wide range of opinions. On this site there are at times a rebuttal article by a different author who may not agree with the original article. That’s partly why I asked if anyone was willing to write an article, it broadens the range of opinions.
Oh TS. We are sex workers who know our stories better than McElroy. That you see us speak and affirm this but dismiss it as “group think” speaks way more about your own prejudice than anything else. It is YOU who wants the story homogenised, not we.
Can you, or someone you know of, write a positive story for sex workers? I’m sure they will publish it here on the GMP. I’d like to read something positive for once on it instead of the typical sex workers are enslaved by evil pimps setting.
There are positive stories of sex workers, and thanks to the internet, they aren’t as hard to find as before. Don’t assume it is the responsibility of sex workers to educate you on their reality; it is your job to educate yourself. If someone is willing to put in the time and effort to help you, that is a gift. Don’t demand it.
Think about it; in a culture that demonizes sex workers, these people are constantly defending themselves and fighting the stereotypes lined up against them. Each one probably spends inordinate amounts of time explaining reality to an unending stream of non-sex workers. Are you really going to selfishly demand they cater to yet another person ignorant of their existence?
Start by doing your own research, show you are willing to actively pursue truth before asking for things to be delivered to you. If you have a hard time finding anything free of bias and stereotype, maybe realize how very pervasive these lies are and how draining it must be for people to constantly fight them and resist internalizing of the disrespect.
I am not demanding anything, hence why I ASKED if they could. I have little idea on the sex industry and I trust the judgment of sex workers more than people not in the industry, the reason I asked was 1) In hope of reading articles that aren’t biased and/or full of lies, and 2) Because I think it would do good to have an article on this site published which is sex positive, most I’ve seen tend to talk about trafficking and the more negative aspects and without the articles on the positive aspects it probably isn’t an accurate portrayal as only the negatives get airtime.
“Are you really going to selfishly demand they cater to yet another person ignorant of their existence?”
Are you really going to misread my words and be rude because you’re ignorant of why I ASKED?
Your comment talks about the the pervasive lies and negative publicity the sex industry gets, yet when someone asks to see a decent article on it you supply them with a rude and angry reply? Rule 1 of changing the negative focus into a more positive focus: Don’t slap supporters in the face. Don’t assume I am unwilling to search for positive stories, if you didn’t realize I was hoping it would be published to this site in particular. If I wanted links to other websites I would have asked for links to other websites.
Please learn to differentiate someone asking, and someone demanding.
Archy,
there are heaps of sex work websites and blogs. Start off with
http://www.scarletalliance.org.au
http://www.swopusa.org/
http://www.sexworkeurope.org/
http://www.nswp.org/
Scarlet Road is also a recent documentary that includes many sex workers, including myself. It also includes two of my clients, both living with a disability. Perhaps you would like to see the trailer and where it has and will be screened: http://www.scarletroad.com.au
That’s just a start.. Follow the links on all the sites above and you will find many blogs from sex workers and other organisations around the world run and driven by and for sex workers.
Oh wow, it’s truly an honor to meet you. I saw your documentary on the SBS website and was extremely impressed and touched by your work. I’ve been through disabling mental illness (major social anxiety + depression) which left me crippled with fear at home so it was very touching to see people with disability be given the chance at some form of intimacy.
I can’t thank-you enough for your work, it’s absolutely amazing what you do for these people. If you ever feel like writing an article on the GMP I’d be glad to read it and share with people to get the message out.
Thank-you again for replying!
TS – whose story is she telling?
Is she a sex worker, spoken to sex workers, researched sex work….and idea?
I hope it’s one or more of the three above.
None of the above, actually.
Surely, friends, you aren’t claiming that a storyteller must only tell autobiographical stories?
Basically what I’m saying is that seeing as it’s fiction, it can be critiqued. Part of that critique is examining what the purpose of the story was. Was it supposed to make you laugh, cry, get angry? Was there meant to be some sort of moral to the story?
This story seems to be about how horrible being a sex worker is…and that is a story that has been told so much it’s a cliche, and an inaccurate cliche. And therein lies the critique. This is a story set in a fictionalized version of the real world portraying sex workers inaccurately. Also, there are pretty heavy undertones of a moral about how prostitution is bad.
Were this a true story, it would place it in a different context. It would no longer necessarily be a morality tale, but rather a snapshot into an actual human being’s life.
“Was it supposed to make you laugh, cry, get angry? ”
I genuinely think it was supposed to dooze me off by loading every cliche into it. And it succeded by 4th page!
TS, do you even read what you write before posting it?
Perhaps if you actually read the comments of we sex workers without a prejudice, you would understand why we object to such a cliche, hackneyed representation of our lives – because it contributes to the incredible stigma and discrimination we live in, where we are just hapless eternal “victims” for you to pity.
Personally, I’m laying bets on TS either being McElroy’s husband, or McElroy herself.
Except she’s not writing about a real person. She’s writing fiction, and so her choices, what pieces of narratives to include, how to present those narratives, etc can be critiqued. This isn’t a real person, this is a character she created, who’s story she created, and how she tells the story, how she uses the character, what she has the character says etc are all conscious choices by the writer. The story and choices also exist in the context of our society where such narratives and presentations of sex workers in fiction are common, and so this is just adding to that cliche, and that can be criticized and analyzed as well. If anything, this is more of the “one narrative” than the sex workers giving their own individual, personal experiences and opinions in their criticism of this comic.
As for “it’s just issue one”. This is a serial medium, it’s perfectly fair to criticize comics issue by issue. Maybe the next one will be a 180 of this one. Who knows? But just as each TV episode can be criticized, so can each comic issue. Also, the positive comments are reacting to one issue too. Are they invalid too? Or just the negative ones? Should the positive commenters hold off their commentary too? :\ The positive commenters are also extrapolating tone & feel & meaning of the comic from the first issue, and I think that’s fair, just as I think criticism is fair.
Wow, both sad and contemptuous at the same time.
For once I’d like to see a story of a downtrodden man who makes a living providing lowly and degrading services to women providing a vehicle for the author to vent their physical disgust at women through the character’s experience. Perhaps as a young man, he could have had a promising football career robbed from him by a women and is now forced to sell women’s shoes….oh wait, we did that one already.
Ahaha, not a P.C show but funny for it’s silly humor. A good guide on how NOT to act if you don’t want to cop a world of hate these days.
lol…but I guess that was my point. We tried this shoe on the other foot before and it wasn’t exactly embraced as culturally enlightening. I guess bc it wrapped misogyny in the warm blanket of comedy it found an audience. Maybe that’s the problem with the author’s approach; if you’re going to offend me, at least make it funny.
Another sex worker who objects to this comic.
The most nefarious thing about McElroy’s comic is she doesn’t present necessarily false experiences. In fact, I relate to most of them – such as fear of failure, of disappointing family, of being intimidated by pressure (note: these are MENTAL HEALTH issues), of feeling inadequate, of disassociation, of shooting heroin.
The problem is how McElroy presents these experiences as being the fault OF sex work.
McElroy does not seem to understand there is an intersection between sex work, mental health, class, misogny & sex work stigma. So the most horrible thing is because they’re not necessarily false experiences, McElroy in her patronising & objectifiying depiction contributes to making it harder for sex workers to take ownership of our OWN stories, whatever they are, & to fight back against such disempowering & condescending depictions
1) because people won’t believe us & say we’re deluding ourselves &
2) it is hard not to internalise such stigma, to aggressively reject being so forcibly confined to a victim role especially when everyone – even those PRETENDING to be on our side like McElroy – is telling us we’re wrong about our own realities. That our problems are BECAUSE of sex work & not because we are subjected to vile discrimination over it, have mental health issues and so forth
AND all McElroy has done is present what we sex workers call “TRAGEDY PORN” – where non workers get to slurp up every tasty voyeuristic detail of our work & realities without truly empathising with or comprehending their complexity. Seeing us only as victims and objects, as things for non-sex workers to project their own stigmas and prejudices onto.
In this way, even where the story of a heroin-addicted girl who detaches from sex work to cope with it may be true, it ends up being abused, mishandled, fetishised and used as a means of gratifying the audience.
It’s not about sex workers, in the end – it’s about the non-sex workers who want to have their misogynistic, classist, ableist, whorephobic, sexphobic beliefs reaffirmed and perpetuated. When sex workers are drenched in these messages, it is very difficult for us to detach from them and this affects our ability to practice our work safely.
It is Feminism 101 that women’s conflict over promiscuity is societally groomed by stigma and oppression around female sexuality. THIS, not that sex work is inherently awful, is what can make the intimacy of sex work challenging. We have all internalised these messages and it is no easy feat to detach from them in the same way it is not easy to detach from the sizeist messages we are forcefed and the homophobic and the racist ones.
Apart from anything else, injecting drug user sex workers are not tokenised objects for you to flap about in a gross parody of supporting whilst disrespecting. Injecting drug users are not hollow shells of souless-eyed beings to be objectified as cautionary tales to scare the bourgeoise. So thanks for nothing, McElroy.
“it’s about the non-sex workers who want to have their misogynistic, classist, ableist, whorephobic, sexphobic beliefs reaffirmed and perpetuated”
…and misandry….there’s usually more than just a healthy dose of it when discussing sex work and this comic doesn’t refrain from indulgence. We can keep this a big tent.
Misandry does not exist. Work like this demonises clients – is that what you mean?
“Misandry does not exist.”
LOL…that’s a joke right?
“Misandry does not exist.”
Say what? Do you mean within sex work or in everything? Misandry surely does exist outside of sex work at least and it’s insulting to be on a site for men n claim such doesn’t exist when this site actually discusses misandry quite a bit. Please be careful on what you state as fact.
Does “rejection of male privilege” count as “misandry” in your definition?
No. Why would it be misandry? Rejecting male privilege isn’t hatred of men?
“Does “rejection of male privilege” count as “misandry” in your definition?”
OMG. No, we’re reminded constantly of the privileges society provides men so long as we behave as we’re suppose to. Misandry is when we pursue the unilateral elimination of those privileges while failing to address the gross inequities men experience as a function of their gender. Misandry is when we believe the gender construct exists to provide men privileges everywhere and always without acknowledging that the system also accords female privilege. Or when we believe the gender construct is imposed on women by men without acknowledging the equal responsibility women have for the world as it is.
I’ll be sure to remind the 2 million men in US prisons of their male privilege.
Well said Jezebel ” we object to such a cliche, hackneyed representation of our lives” because of the stereotypes it perpetrates and the stigma it engenders. Most actual sex workers stories are amazing and positive but are rarely told cause the poor young drug addicted worker is a much sexier subject than the stable single mother putting her kids through school story.
And for all you “she is just telling a story, why are you so upset about that” people just try to look at the bigger picture here. Would you like it if your story was constantly told as a negative stereotype ?
And for anyone who wants to read a great story about a heroin addicted young female sex worker go read one written by a heroin addicted young female sex worker, Kate Holden’s “In My Skin” . It is a much better piece if work.
The thing is, drug addicted sex workers do exist and this is a factor of the sex industry. The problem is their stories are never told with genuine respect or compassion – or REAL insight into the experienced stigma and oppression that may lead to drug use as a form of self-medicating to deal with that oppression and stigma. No, drug addicted sex workers are always used as a morality, cautionary story for all the good, upstanding citizens of this world – just as is in this comic.
Drug addicted sex workers just become dehumanized objects for the audience to literally perve on – rather than wholly realized subjects of their own stories.
Additionally, because this type of story feeds into society’s hateful ideas of sex work, it is also the type of story that is told to the exclusion of all others – and there are SO MANY different kinds of sex worker stories that deserve to be told.
Well I have to admit, the thought of having sex for momey with dozens if not hundreds of different guys a month, at least some of who are probably weird, scary, disrespectful, violent, and/or at the very least, unhygienic, is a pretty repellant idea for most women. It is hard to imagine there beng anything positive in it. It would be good to hear a different perspective.
FUCK. THIS. SHIT.
It’s nothing like that. We could get a job deemed “real/normal” by the media but we choose to be more free, happy, and in control than you’ll ever know. Believe it or not, my friends are just as real as my job is.
I think it’s funny how everybody is getting so upset over a comic. Remember folks, this is a comic written about one fictional person. That fictional person could have any characteristic because …… IT’S FICTIONAL! The author chose to create the character in this manner. Are there sex workers that fit this description? Probably. Are all sex workers like this character? Certainly not. I didn’t realize that so many sex workers were so sensitive as to allow a comic book to get them all worked up. Several of your responses just make you sound like “angry” people.
Bob, as with any particularly discriminated against marginalised group, how we are depicted in media impacts on how we are discriminated against. Do you think it’s funny when people of colour object to offensive racial stereotypes? When gay people object to homophobic stereotypes? When women object to demeaning and sexist stereotypes? Nothing exists in isolation. What we see in media both reflects and reinforces how people treat the marginalised and oppressed. Sex workers have indeed cause for concern when this kind of rubbish is the only way we are ever depicted.
And yes, we are angry. VERY angry. We are sick of being abused and discriminated against and we don’t appreciate it when McElroy creates material that perpetuates that behaviour.
It’s Fiction.