Andrew Smiler pines for the return of competent father figures in popular culture.
Pop culture is important. It permeates our lives and becomes an integral part of our way of relating to each other. Whether you like the content or not, almost everyone has a sense of what “American Idol” is about, just like we all asked, “Can you hear me now?” and “Where’s the beef?”
To get that kind of notoriety you need two things: a product and an audience. No matter how catchy, appealing, or clever the product is, if it doesn’t grab the attention of a whole lot of people, it won’t become part of pop culture.
I’m in my 40s, but I still pay attention to some parts of pop culture. One of the reasons is that I spend a fair amount teaching 18-21 year olds and using examples from pop culture can provide a variety of benefits for them and for me. I also study 15-25 year olds and knowing what terms they use and what’s going on in “their” culture helps me make sense of some of the things they tell me. Each generation is different, at least in some ways.
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Over the years, pop culture—television in particular—has changed the way that fathers and families are usually portrayed. From the 50s through the 80s, most of those shows focused on families where fathers were smart, knowledgeable, and respected by their wife and their kids. It didn’t matter if you were in Mayberry with The Andy Griffith Show, Milwaukee with Happy Days, Brooklyn with The Cosby Show, San Francisco with Full House, or any of dozens of other shows. Those dads didn’t always know everything, but they definitely had a set of characteristics that many of us aspire to. And yes, some of them are now horribly dated and reflect sexist or racist attitudes of their time, but that doesn’t make those fathers any less honest or upstanding.
Over the last two decades or so, those guys have vanished. They’ve been replaced by dads like Homer Simpson, Tim Taylor (of Home Improvement), Al Bundy (from Married, with Children), and Peter Griffin (of Family Guy), among others. These guys represent a very different version of fatherhood, one in which dads are barely competent with their kids. On these shows, when mom leaves dad alone with the children, she’s happy if none of the kids are seriously injured and the house is still standing when she gets home. Fatherly advice often takes the form of clichés and truisms, or is flat out inappropriate.
These new fathers aren’t all bad though. They’re mostly likeable; they genuinely care about their kids and are part of their kids’ lives. And they have jobs; that’s important, because mothers on these shows have about a 50% unemployment rate. These dads also want the best for their kids, even if they have no real idea how to make that happen.
It bothers me that the folks who make decisions about TV keep putting these guys out there for us to watch. But it bothers me more that we keep watching them. In the highly competitive and imitation driven world of TV programming, these dads wouldn’t keep being on my screen if there weren’t millions of people tuning in every week.
The fact that millions of people watch it means that somehow, these guys resonate with us. For one, I think watching incompetent dads makes us feel better. After all, most of us know better than to do what these guys do, so it helps reassure us that we’re doing all right. Especially for those guys who didn’t have a father who was a good role model and are trying to figure it out as they go.
But I think there’s also a problem here. What does it mean that we’ve replaced those competent fathers with a caring but barely competent image? While it’s good that these TV fathers are caring, I don’t think that’s enough.
TV shows that focus on families are usually the first primetime shows that kids watch. That means these guys are some of the first dads children get to know. While these fathers aren’t altogether incompetent, they’re not exactly solid role models. I’m not sure how an eight-year-old or a 12-year-old really sorts through the idea of: “I like this dad, but I don’t really want to be like this dad” or “I like this dad but I wouldn’t actually want him as a father.”
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For men, I think this barely competent image of a father reinforces the idea that once a guy gets married, the fun part of his life is pretty much over. After all, this group of TV dads are usually the butt of the joke; we laugh at them, not with them.
For young (and not so young) women, seeing these guys on show after show can reinforce the notion that “good men are hard to find.” Most teenagers only see the workings of other families through TV (and other media sources), and if most fathers (and husbands) are barely competent, how does that influence a young woman’s aspirations? Does it mean she should settle for a guy who’s “good enough” or she should find a guy who’s got potential and shape him into the man she wants?
Maybe it’s the result of Feminism. But that seems unlikely. I have a hard time believing there’s some great conspiracy between Feminist leaders, whoever they might be, and Hollywood moguls who also objectify women. I’m pretty sure those feminists aren’t too fond of Mad Men, The Real Housewives, and this year’s dead-on-arrival The Playboy Club.
I hope Hollywood finds the competent dads again. I think we need them.
—Photo forkparty.com
About Andrew Smiler
I partly disagree with this article, though i’m not american. Why are Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin-like characters on TV? Because they are funny, and we like to laugh on them. I would not say Family Guy is a cartoon for boys, more for young adults. Here in Hungary it is at 10 pm, and never at daytime (yes we watch the same rubbish as you do).
The problem is not what they show, but what they never do: really competent, good dads. Not that the mommy characters are so perfect in these shows.
But i have to admit, i was pissed at Home Improvement’s (not so) hidden misandry, it was disguisting sometimes.
Amen to the article. Whilst earlier years of television were no model to look up to they did have a better view towards fathers it seemed. I’m hoping we move forward to see both genders being represented as competent workers, fathers/mothers, relatives, friends, etc.
It’d be great to see more dads in commercials for the home/family products too, I know plenty of grown men who clean of their own free will and do so quite thoroughly. The stereotypes don’t help anyone.
Thanks Jun. I agree that it’d be nice to see more (competent) guys in commercials for home & family products. From the analyses I’ve seen, males in those commercials tend to do the narrative voiceovers or show up as experts much more often than they show up as users of those products.
Hello hermit,
…and thanks for coming out of your shell, at least for a moment. I think we mostly agree – the problem is that we no longer see good, competent dads. They used to be the standard, and now they just make an occasional appearance.
In the US, Family Guy airs at 9pm on Sundays. That time slot usually means very few kids under 12, but it typically includes a lot of teens. I think all the other shows in that list of barely competent dads originally aired at 8pm, so they were a viewing option for some kids under 12.
Thank you for this article. There is some great food for thought here. I will be posting a link on our Facebook page.
One thing that occurs to me is that in television dramas we are seeing more competent fathers being portrayed. Castle comes to mind– while he is often portrayed s goofy, they take his fatherhood role seriously. In Lie to Me, Tim Roth’s character was clearly a competent dad (although many may argue over-protective.) In both of these examples, there is a bit of “daughter taking care of dad” at times, but I think all in all, I enjoy seeing these dads struggling through parenting teenage daughters. While both seek out the advice of strong female characters, they are not “rescued” by them.
Anyway, it is just some food for thought. I do find it interesting that in both of these cases the father’s portrayed are horrible at communicating their feelings to the rest of the females in their lives, but somehow do okay with their teen girls… Hmmm… I will be thinking about this for the rest of the day. Would be interested in other’s thoughts as well.
Thanks Jessica.
I’ve also wondered why the difference exists between comedy dads & drama dads. I’m with you: those father-daughter relationships have been well-written and complex.
Al Bundy is my favorite TV dad. Not because I seek to emulate him, but because he’s friggin hilarious. Same with Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.
I think this entire subject is irrelevant. I really do. If there really are men out there who look to these TV shows for tips on how to be fathers, then those men probably weren’t going to be good fathers in the first place. Harsh words, but true. I mean seriously, it’s TV. Entertainment. It’s not reality and I don’t think most sane people treat it that way.
Hi Daddy Files,
I agree that most people don’t consciously look to TV for suggestions on how to act. At the same time, decades of research show that we do incorporate information from TV into our general understanding of how the world/people work. TV is NOT the only contributor, and it’s not the biggest contributor either, but it does play a part. As a result, I think it’s worth noticing what’s there and the messages being sent.
If it’s incompetence that’s funny, why are all the female characters on those shows uniformly intelligent and competent?
Sure, you can get some comic interplay between the two–irresponsible vs. sensible–but It’s interesting to note which role is always assigned to which gender.
Agreed. And in shows like Cosby & Roseanne (& I’m told Modern Family, but I haven’t seen it yet), both parents were equally competent, so it’s not like irresponsible vs sensible is the only viable formula.
I got a confession to make. The Pragmatic Rationalism of Jason Seaver from “Growing Pains” Al Bundy’s Determined Stoicism of “Married with Children” & Cliff Huxtable’s Hopeful optimism has always formulated what I consider to be the perfect Male role model.
My 3 wise men…
Tim Allen & Ray Romano COULD TAKE A LONG WALK INTO ON COMING TRAFFIC!!
Very good article. I’ve commented on this here a couple of times.
At the same time the writer mentions the change in how men are portrayed in the media, boys and men began to slip further and further behind in education and other areas. You tell someone how stupid they are over and over, and they begin to believe you. So, it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By the way, even in children and teens comedy shows, the girls are always smarter than the boys. Predictably, the boys and men are the butt of the jokes. You can almost never find a competent adult male. In fact, even if they have a supposedly responsible job, they are portrayed and incompetent even at work.
Feminism has been successful in working to tear down its patriarchy (i.e. males) in various ways, and the impact is seen in the media’s portrayal of males, in educational (lack of) achievement, the family, and a number of other areas of society.
Whoa, wait up. I just need to interject with respect to your last paragraph.
First, Feminism is NOT interested in making men less capable or less intelligent. Hurting men in this way hurts everyone, including women! Why in the world would a women want a man who is not capable?? That just puts the bulk of the responsibility on her shoulders (e.g. she has to do ALL the housework because he’s too dumb to figure out how to mop a floor)! A smart woman wants a smart man who can be an equal partner in life. Feminism is interested in *equality,* in terms of value, capability, worth, etc. It is absolute *not* looking to make women better than men. (Keep in mind, just like in ANY school of thought–religion, politics, etc.–you *will* have extreme cases. So yes, there are some “feminists” who claim to be feminist, but yet harbor ill feelings toward men. These women are not representative of true feminism. Look up the definition. It’s all for *equality,* not one being better than the other.)
Second, the grand majority of the creators/producers/writers for these shows are men. ’nuff said on that one.
“First, Feminism is NOT interested in making men less capable or less intelligent. Hurting men in this way hurts everyone, including women!”
I wish that weren’t the case but history and the evidence shows otherwise.
“Feminism is interested in *equality,*
Again, I wish that were the case. I have seen no evidence of that to be true but abundant evidence of it being false, in practice.
“So yes, there are some “feminists” who claim to be feminist, but yet harbor ill feelings toward men.”
Yet, other “feminists” tolerate them, sympathize with them, and allow them to stay within the feminist fold. Person(s) truly interested in equality would have dissociate themselves with a group where such individuals felt welcome or at least tolerated.
“Look up the definition. It’s all for *equality,* not one being better than the other.”
If the reality of feminism matched the definition, the vast majority of men and women would be on-board. But, since it doesn’t, 3/4 of women reject it and even more men do.
I don’t think it’s quite that simple Eric. TV still has loads of competent men, especially on all those crime-solving and life-saving dramas. And as Jessica pointed out earlier, there are some good, struggling, complex dads out there.
Although I’ve met some Feminists who are definitely in favor of creating a world where women hold the vast majority of the power, most of the Feminists I’ve met are more like what Sam describes.
Andrew – I wish it weren’t that simple, but think about it. Sitcoms.
In sitcoms, almost as an absolute rule, the male character(s) are the butts of the jokes and portrayed as incompetent boobs. They are laughed ones that are at, which lowers them. That is the venue where family and personal relationship situations are framed in simple presentation style designed to appeal to teens and kids.
I don’t know if you have exposure to teen/kids sitcom/comedy shows, but it is the exact same formula. Girl smart, boy dumb and clueless. I wish it were more complex, but the pattern has been repeated so many times, it’s clear that it’s incidental or coincidental. It is intentional.
I’ve met precious few feminists who aren’t desirous at some level in lowering males, in an effort to attack “the patriarchy.”
Sorry.
“it’s clear that it’s NOT incidental or coincidental. It is intentional.”
I agree with Eric M. An important issue to note here is the emasculation of men by pop culture in general. As mother figures became stronger, father figures became weaker. Now, the beleaguered mother holds the fort down while the clueless dad tries to get away to watch football with his buddies. What we see on TV is a reflection of what’s already happening in real life. Women are already doing (and taking charge of) everything, so men, even if they care, feel rather helpless to really contribute.
What’s interesting about this phenomenon is the association of “capability” with “power.” It’s not about which gender is necessarily “smarter” or “stronger,” but who is perceived as more “capable.” The capable one gets more work done, so they get to call the shots. This doesn’t just happen in the home. It happens in the workplace too, independent of gender. *Usually*, the person who gets the most work done gets the promotion. The only difference is that at work, once you get the promotion and become the boss, you can have your underlings do the work for you. At home, you just get more work.
This was quickly thought-out, and isn’t meant to be a statement on the actual capabilities of either gender, simply on society’s perceptions and how they play out on our TV screens.
I may be overanalyzing here, but I think there’s more complexity to TV comedy than meets the eye. There are sitcom characters who are entertaining precisely because they match the stereotypes that we want to see but sometimes make fun of those stereotypes as well. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that TV sitcoms can be subversive, but I think they get attention sometimes because they let people let off a little steam.
For example, if you really pay attention to what Ward Cleaver says to June Cleaver about parenting, you’ll notice he expresses a lot of sarcasm about parenting roles. He’s pretty cynical about the role that the 50’s have given him. He makes a lot of snide comments about how being a boy is really absurd, about how being a parent is really bizarre. Ward and June never really express much joy at being parents. They talk about ironies of parenthood more than joys of it.
I think incompetent father characters are there, in part, to allow people to laugh about how hard it can be to be a parent. It’s easier for us to accept the idea that some people are just not meant to be parents, if we make sure that it’s a man in that position. It’s still quite taboo to suggest that some women would be better off not being mothers, or to suggest that there is no such thing as universal maternal instinct. It’s still incredibly rare to find a woman on TV who is happy and sane and doesn’t want children. It’s still quite taboo to suggest that people could regret having children, but creating struggling dads let’s us approach the subject indirectly. We get to sympathize with someone who feels more comfortable being anywhere besides being home with the kids, but we’re still not allowed to sympathize with mothers who feel that way.
We show struggling dads on TV because we still can’t laugh about struggling moms. And because we still find it hard to question the bigger assumption about getting married and having children.
How’s that for some pop psychology?
As I read these posts, a question comes to mind. How old, on average, are the respondents on this post ? I am 62 and am mostly opposed to the current portrayal of fathers in a great many TV shows. And at the central core seems to be the idea that we “laugh” at the antics of men (cartoon and otherwise) that are incompetent, bumbling fathers even if they do hold a job.
As a youngster, I grew up in a time (50′s-60′s) when the men who filled my life had a lot in common. They were all Veterans of WW ll . They shared this common “brotherhood” proudly but quietly. And in the service to our nation, they carried to a man, a quiet dignity, earned in some of the fiercest battles this country has ever experienced.
So I grew to learn that as a youngster, every father of all my friends was my extended father when I was away from my own home and father. On school nights, while visiting friends, I would be gently advised that I needed to get home and attend to my homework. And my father of the moment, would pack me into his car and take me home to make sure I was safe. Of course, they always spent a couple of minutes to say hi to my own mom and dad. Later,these same men filled the ranks of Scout Master, Boy Scouts of America, which I attended for a number of years. As scouts, we were encouraged to seek out projects of of individual interest, but always under the watchful eyes of the “fathers”. In my teen years, I was reminded of my obligation to my education, always!, and taught to respect all of our elders. Even the local police, knew the names (each) of nearly 400 high. school seniors On Friday and Saturday teen dance nights, the Police officers would drop into the dance hall to to chat with parents and fill their obligations as chaperones. Dancing to the tunes of the “Beatles, Beach Boys” and other groups, we paid scant attention to the police officers because their own children were among our ranks.
So, I believe that times have truly changed. Not many fathers offer the quiet introspection based on a shared camaraderie of a generation. The dignity and strength of these men has been replaced by a shrill “noise”…..it seems that as a nation, we prefer the bumbling “dolt” at whom, we can laugh at all their foibles and numb ourselves to the fact: where are our fathers? Where is that quiet strength and dignity we so craved as children ?
I think the trend of dumb dads on TV may have started earlier, but it’s definitely gotten worse. The problem is there’s no balance, no smart dad characters.
This quote from bell hooks seems so appropriate in the context of this conversation:
“Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.”
― bell hooks
As an educator within the domestic violence movement, a feminist movement, I talk to young men and young women about the harmful effects that gender role stereotypes have on both males and females. From my experience, I have found the the majority of people identifying as “feminists” want to create a world where there is equality and freedom for everyone, and that includes freedom for men from the negative stereotypes that keep them in a restrictive “man box.”
A Call to Men (acalltomen.org) is an organization worth checking out… they are a group so feminist men working to end violence against women AND to support broader definitions of masculinity that support healthy fatherhood, nonviolence, etc.
The incompetent dad portrayals are not helping any of us– male or female– because we are all internalizing these messages about what dads are capable of, whether we realize it or not.
Does A Call to Men make the common error of equating “domestic violence” with “violence against women”? Because that would reveal quite a bit about whether their brand of feminism is anti-male or not.
No one that I have every met working within the domestic violence movement limits the definition of domestic violence to only happening with males as perpetrators and females as victims, although that is a common misconception. In fact, we acknowledge readily that this stereotype prevents many men from accessing the support and services they need.
Unfortunately, statistically, women are still far more likely to be the victim of domestic violence than men. However, only about 10% of men perpetrate violence. A Call to Men recognizes the key role that the remaining 90% can play in preventing men’s violence against women.
I don’t want to speak for them, check out their website…
But know that ending domestic violence in all forms is going to take us all working together. Most domestic violence advocates believe this.
And the Good Men Project is an important part of that process, in my opinion. Blog posts like these, which call out media on their stereotypical portrayals of men, are part of the process, too. We all need to be “allowed” the space to be more than the current cultural stereotypes permit.
“And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male.”
The anti-male reputation of feminism is decades old. If that were merely an empty stereotype, it would have been dispelled many years ago. However, feminism continues to relentlessly promote and defend anti-male positions, opinions, viewpoints, and policies. I wish that weren’t the case but it is.
I can’t follow your logic– we have generations old empty stereotypes that we are still fighting to dispel. How is it that empty stereotypes about feminism would be different?
I think framing feminism as anti-male, and therefore dismissing the whole perspective as unreasonable and not worthy of consideration, is a cop out.
The truly anti-male school of thought within feminism is considered by most to be extreme, fanatical– an outlyer, if you will. The majority of people promoting feminism seek men as allies in promoting equality. Part of feminism is promoting efforts to dispel gender stereotypes for everyone.
My first women’s studies professor was a man. A man taught me about feminism. That has always been a powerful thing for me.
I really encourage you to check out A Call to Men, at least to get a broader perspective on the topic.
“I can’t follow your logic– we have generations old empty stereotypes that we are still fighting to dispel. How is it that empty stereotypes about feminism would be different?”
Because the supposed stereotype about feminism is reinforced on a daily basis, including right here. Even feminists themselves (including right here within the last few days) admit that misandry exists within the movement. They have no choice, as it’s obvious.
“I think framing feminism as anti-male, and therefore dismissing the whole perspective as unreasonable and not worthy of consideration, is a cop out.”
The fact that feminism continues to promote anti-male views, opinions, speech, and policies is what reinforces its anti-male reputation. If they were to stop that, and focus instead on equality for all people, regardless of gender, they could rebuild their reputation over time.
“The majority of people promoting feminism seek men as allies in promoting equality. “
Right. As long as men admit that they are problem and must change, (the patriarchy), are assigned privilege by birth (“male privilege”), are the abusers, and the causes of oppression of women, etc., and repent for their sins. If, and only if, they do all of that, feminism considers them partners.
Also, I haven’t seen any evidence of feminism seeking equality. Feel free to point out where feminism is fighting, for example, for equality within education for boys and men to graduate from high school and college at the same level and girls and women.
“I think framing feminism as anti-male, and therefore dismissing the whole perspective as unreasonable and not worthy of consideration, is a cop out.”
The fact that feminism continues to promote anti-male views, opinions, speech, and policies is what reinforces its anti-male reputation. If they were to stop that, and focus instead on equality for all people, regardless of gender, they could rebuild their reputation over time.
“The majority of people promoting feminism seek men as allies in promoting equality. “
Right. As long as men admit that they are problem and must change, (the patriarchy), are assigned privilege by birth (“male privilege”), are the abusers, and the causes of oppression of women, etc., and repent for their sins. If, and only if, they do all of that, feminism considers them partners.
Also, I haven’t seen any evidence of feminism seeking equality. Feel free to point out where feminism is fighting, for example, for equality within education for boys and men to graduate from high school and college at the girls and women.
“I really encourage you to check out A Call to Men, at least to get a broader perspective on the topic.”
A perfect example of what I referred to above. As long as men admit that they are bad/wrong/the perpetrators and that women are good/right/the innocent victims, men can be feminist partners.
The vast majority of women refuse association with feminism. That alone speaks volumes.
I think the secret that needs to be portrayed more fully in popular culture, and on television, is that being a dad and a husband is really the best part of life, at least as far as I am concerned. And I don’t think I am alone on that.
Agreed. I don’t buy the whole “no more fun” or “a guy’s life is over” after marriage image that mainstream media has pushed over the last decade or two.
Hey, there were plenty of idiot/incompetent dads from the 70s and 80s: Neither Archie Bunker nor George Jefferson was any kind of role model. Nor Redd Foxx, for that matter. But they taught us about both human fallibility and the ridiculousness of bigotry and narrow-mindedness.
And last I heard, Atticus Finch was still considered the US’s top hero/male role model: A single dad whose compassion, human decency, and recognition of equal rights — certainly not a man whose primary purpose is to uphold patriarchy and father-rule, but to ensure justice for all.
When I read things like that, my fears for the future of humanity (based in part on the misogynist rantings by commenters in these pages) are alleviated and I realise that these pathetic trolls just make a lot of “sound and fury, signifying nothing”. I guess they’ve been around since Shakespeare’s time, eh?
Hi Andrew, first, apologies for my redundancy, I posted this comment on Role/Reboot earlier but just wanted to throw it out here as well.
First, thanks for this thoughtful piece. I will say that most critical media researchers like myself would argue that a large part of the differences you are seeing are about denigrating working class men in particular, not men generally. Quite a bit of research has been done that shows that family sitcoms that feature middle/upper class families represent fathers as being strong in character and intellect but shows with working class families (The Simpsons, King of Queens, MWC, etc) tend to make men into idiotic buffoons. Even older family sitcoms featuring working class husbands/fathers did this (e.g. Archie Bunker and others as mentioned previously). Thus I think what you’re noticing is about classism in our society, specifically an ideology that men who don’t achieve a certain type of material lifestyle are failures and have no one to blame but themselves. This ideology suggests that manhood is tied to inhabiting a specific economic location in a capitalist society and that without that position one’s value is lesser.
(As a side note many feminists (inluding myself) love Madmen because of the way it shows the realities of gender inequality during a specific era, it’s much more thoughtful and intelligently produced than the other examples you mention in your concluding paragraph.)
Liked the article.
I agree that those shows are taking us back. I for one look at those shows to say hell no, so that in my life I will be able to see those patterns in a men, and run away as fast as I can, I recommend any women to not waste their time and just run,
And what makes it niot so funny sometimes it’s that it’s become such a predictable behavior, like when they are face with real life situations, a son comes for advice, they would rather got to a bar, or run away from the issue, sometimes literally, instead of dealing with the situation head on like any real man would do, I for one know that there are other man outhere that do not wish to become like that and do not think oof it as funny at all. I feel sorry for those women, the ones that are stuck with such jerks, that it is actually relieving when they stand up fpr themselves, I hope for new shows that are the anti-homer, the anti-tim, the anti-family guy, etc. Because I will find those characters more interesting, deep and worth watching than the ones mentioned in this article.