Ralph Schroeder finds lots of men to admire on television, but only one surprising TV dad really resonates for him.
There are all kinds of heroes out there. Some that have no fear. Some that have endless energy and boundless intelligence. Some with unshakable integrity and honesty. Some with superhuman strength and amazing physical skill.
Television has invented lots of them, from Marshal Dillon on Gunsmoke, to Perry Mason, to Jim Rockford on the Rockford Files. Detectives, doctors, lawyers, teachers, policemen, even politicians. I’ve admired many of these heroes, but in knowing my own failings, I don’t think I ever really related to any of them.
Then came Brian Cranston’s “Hal”—Malcolm’s dad—on Malcolm in the Middle.
Malcom in the Middle is a show about a family with extraordinary potential for self-destruction. Each member of the family finds hugely creative and highly dysfunctional ways of dealing with both their own shortcomings as well as those of their family. Most of which are extreme and highly entertaining, not to mention unexpected for television fare.
But what always stood out for me about this show is Hal. As a father, he is challenged by five sons with explosive personalities and a wife unlike any other. These two live a life where they’re constantly flirting with poverty, soul-deflating jobs, and other domestic disasters. On top of this, his own personality is amazingly unstable— he’s a real piece of work.
But the thing that most makes him stand out is his passion. Hal is wild-eyed crazy for his wife. He has no self control around her. She fills him with lust and desire and somehow manages to break any concentration he is able to muster. No matter what problems they have in their lives—and they are colossal—there is always the potential for instant passion when they’re in the same room. Passion that is instant, intense, often silly, and which makes little sense. It embarrasses the boys in its adolescent obviousness and simplicity. Right in the midst of the intense anger, fear, frustration, disappointment or despair that always seems present in life as we know it, there is the potential for fiery, unbridled passion. Hal’s eyes glaze over, his face grows slack then tightens. It’s like you’re watching the lower part of his brain seize control and force out all of the demands and stresses of this world, replacing them with simpler, more elementary needs and desires.
I suppose a reality check is called for here. Did the talented writers and director of the drama see this as one more element of dysfunction for this challenged family? Was this one more aspect of his personality that doesn’t work as is should? If he were in more control, would this have helped to stabilize this precarious situation? Was there a moral lesson intended?
After some deliberation, I choose to say… no.
There is always joy inherent in these moments. Intense, unreasoned, elemental joy. Not just pleasure. But joy. Joy that healed wounds, that cooled destructive emotions. That reaffirmed commitments and re-cemented bonds. Hal and his wife, Lois, are thrown from the tracks of their concentration and onto a path of a simpler sort. If it does nothing to correct the disaster of the moment, it certainly does no harm to let it rest for a time. Perhaps a new perspective is achieved for Hal and Lois from a more shared point of view. Perhaps it reminds them of how and why they formed this family in the first place, and why it’s worth the extreme effort it takes to maintain it. Who knows.
I am always refreshed and pleased by this potential joy. I see it as hopeful and positive. Affirming.
Humans think of themselves as the end of evolutionary trail, the final product. We think we are the most intelligent, complicated and sophisticated of all of the living creatures here on earth. We think that we have the biggest brains. We believe we have conquered the earth because of these big brains and our amazing tools and processes. We also ignore the messes we have made in our egocentric manipulations, the destruction that has ensued.
When I watch Hal in his distracted moments, I am reminded that most of our brain is controlled by emotions, not logic. That the logical brain, although important, is slow and fairly simple in comparison to the emotional and autonomic reactions that are crucial to our dealing with the world. And it seems to me that we suffer when we move to far away from the simpler, more elementary parts of our being.
Hal represents to me someone who is extremely fortunate in his great passion for his wife, and that this passion can overwhelm him and does so regularly and without warning. His passion for the rest of life is equally as strong, and includes disco rollerskating, harmony singing groups and high-stakes poker games, to name a few, as well as great love and admiration for his children. He pursues everything with gusto and dedication. He may be confused much of the time, and unsuccessful to the world at large, but he charges life full-tilt.
And he doesn’t just desire his wife. He admires her in many ways, and shares every aspect of the lives they live. She is so powerful that at times she intimidates him and he cowers in obedience, but eventually finds a way back to a balance. They are a true team, welded together by the forces that threaten them and the power of their desire for each other. They are hugely stronger together then they ever are apart. They are their own worst critics and best supporters.
They are fictional characters, I know. Their lives are entertaining because they are extreme and abstracted, concentrated to get the most enjoyment of this theatrical event. And I know we are in some danger when we confuse real life and drama, but risking that danger for a moment, I must admit to a secret: My most extraordinary moments are almost as passionate as Hal’s, and I believe that loving someone with a similar intensity is one of the greatest gifts we can hope to find—and hold onto.
—Photo hairymuseummatt/Flickr
Can I get someone from the GMP to comment on how photos are chosen for the articles? What was the thought process in putting up a photo of a Neanderthal when talking about Hal from Malcolm in the Middle?
Harping on my usual pet peeve again: I appreciate that the GMP now includes images of men with chest hair, but this is hardly a flattering portrayal or positive association. I asked if there were any stock photos of any men who weren’t hairless, and this is what I get?
Hahaha. That Guy. My favorite commenter (don’t be too jealous, all the rest of you). I am going to tell you exactly how this photo was chosen, and the story is going to be so boring that you will probably regret asking it. So. Justin and I were loading the pieces into the publishing software, and we were looking for images we could use publicly. There was somehow not a single photo of Brian Cranston, Malcom in the MIddle, or “Hal” in that public sphere. So I thought, well, what he is saying here refers to our most basic, primal… Read more »
I assumed it was ironic 🙂
Two of my favorite father figures (of late) is 1) Adam Braverman from Parenthood and 2) the father in Medium.
Strangely these are shows my wife watches far more often then I do. Both possess a calm decisive yet caring manner I aspire to in my own life.
I remember watching one episode of Medium in which the plot line hinted that the father in Medium was going to cheat on his wife. I told my wife that I hoped the producers weren’t going to write that he cheated because I really enjoyed the character.
Great article! I think the popularity of this show was due to the fact that all the viewers could relate to pieces of it in their own life. Think abouty this, a truely “Functional” family would have to consist of a “perfect” woman to be the mother, a “perfect” man to be the father, and “perfect children”. Since “perfect” people only exist in the abstract, in one way or another, we,re all part of “Dysfuncional” families.
And that does show how our society is changing compared with My Three Sons or Leave it to Beaver. That perfection ideal exploded violently, and now we’re trying to find our way toward a middle ground. The message with Malcolm was love in all its complicated forms. Now we’ve got Modern Family which shows a similar complicated family dynamic, but one where love and commitment were at the center.
I really like how relatable TV families have become, and Macadamian Nut is so right in crediting Roseanne for much of this.
Great article. I agree Hal is a good man and father (and Brian Cranston is great). I think another, newer and maybe similar TV Dad is Burt Chance (father of Jimmy and grandfather of Hope) from Raising Hope. Also depicts a flawed, but loving family. I wonder if there is something about the working poor (innately sympathetic?) that makes it okay for TV to depict them as complex and interesting, if dysfunctional…
I agree with the take on Hal, and also that Burt from “Raising Hope” is a similar, and similarly endearing character from a current show. Another one would be Phil from “Modern Family”. It seems a little unfair to think of them as hapless, but all three are somewhat bumbling, but deeply passionate and completely smitten with their wives.
Great article, and I love that show. Its a pity they don’t really have any female characters other than Lois (although I guess it is supposed to be about adolescant boys) but Lois is almost a unique depiction of femininity and motherhood on TV: Shes not perfect. Most TV shows out there show housewives as some kind of domestic saint with no real flaws whose task is usually to clean up after the evil and careless men in their lives. By contrast, Lois is as flawed, chaotic and talented as any of the rest of them. Shes also dominant, I… Read more »
Um, I think rosanne broke the mold to allow for this tv show to exist. Let’s give her some credit.
I also like Hal. But…
“And she doesn’t just desire her husband. She admires him in many ways, and shares every aspect of the lives they live. He is so powerful that at times he intimidates her and she cowers in obedience, but eventually finds a way back to a balance.”
Hm. Ya know, this part is a little disturbing.
The part where they eventually find a way back isn’t disturbing, though.
I love how Mr. Schroeder writes about delighting in the physical. I think he’s on to something there about what makes us really happy.
I agree with Justin. I think it’s all about the finding a way back to balance. If marriage were always 100% perfect, it wouldn’t be real and it certainly wouldn’t be great television. Good marriage is the constant quest for balance.
I see what you did there typhon – you flipped the pronouns around from what he wrote in the article. Then you said it was disturbing, but not why, so… I don’t see what you did there. Could you elaborate?
“He is so powerful that at times he intimidates her and she cowers in obedience.”
What do we call that kind of relationship?
Oh, you want to tease? Okay, me too.
I think I know what you’re getting at with these altered quotes and your question, but I don’t want everyone else to know in case I’m wrong. How ’bout you come out and say it, and I’ll tell you if that was my guess?
“I think I know what you’re getting at with these altered quotes and your question”
Good.