And I can prove it.
A couple years back, I was watching Star Wars and several things became apparent to me. I’ve since explicated these revelations to a number of other people, and all of them have been persuaded. Now, to help ruin the childhoods of that many more people, I offer for posterity my proof that Princess Leia had sex with both Luke Skywalker and Han Solo after the battle of Yavin.
I realize that this is a controversial position, but I believe the evidence supports it. To prove it, I’ve provided the relevant moments. They don’t really capture the subtle interplay of body language going on, but they give some idea. For the full effect, watch the movie again. There, now you have an excuse.
So I’m watching the movie for the first time in years, and I realize something about Luke Skywalker. He’s obviously a virgin. It’s really not subtle at all. Even putting aside the fact that he’s always dressed in white, he’s got a virgin vibe that has people two star systems away going “I feel a great virgin in the Force…” Watch the movie, note his body language; you can’t miss it.
So okay, that’s fine, he’s a virgin. Nothing wrong with that. He hasn’t been in circulation a whole lot, really
So the movie happens, Luke moves into the wider world, blows up the Death Star, comes back triumphant and goes off with Leia, who’s got her arms around him and Han.
Now, presumably they’re heading off to a victory party with the other Rebels. Their air is celebratory, and c’mon, they just blew up the Death Star. That calls for a party. If you look close in that shot, you can see that Luke’s virgin vibe is quite intact.
Then we cut (well, wipe) to the medal ceremony, and my jaw drops in astonishment.
Luke’s virgin vibe is gone. His whole walk, his body language, have changed. Just to underline the point, look at them. Han… same outfit. Chewie… same outfit. Luke… suddenly no longer wearing white. That is not a coincidence.
So, fine, Luke got some at the victory party. Good for him. I’m sure lots of people got lucky at that party. But then he gets up to the front and he gives Leia this simpering puppy-dog smirk…
OH MY GOD. That is the face of a guy who just cashed in his V-card, looking at the girl he has now imprinted on like a baby duckling. Skywalker, you dog. Wait, no, maybe this is just Luke being dorky, maybe he’s smirking for no reason…
…nope. That’s what we call a confirmatory smirk.
So, okay, Luke and Leia got it on. Only creepy if you know they’re siblings, which they don’t. (Indeed, I think their siblinghood is a total retcon, so in a certain sense they’re not siblings at this point.) So that’s kind of weird, but we can live with it, let’s all take a deep breath and look at Han, who…
…is also smirking. Good lord. Surely that’s just a friendly smile, right? Sure, they’re friends.
Nope, that’s kind of underlining it.
Leia’s clearly more ambivalent about having slept with Han, but that is also a confirmation.
Now at this point, I’m reeling, I can’t figure out what the hell happened. Then, after the shot of R2 being all shiny and repaired and everything, there’s this inexplicable shot.
An entire shot of Princess Leia looking worried and embarrassed, stuck in there for no apparent reason. If she didn’t sleep with Han and Luke, there’s no explanation for this shot. Since we know she did, though, that embarrassed look tells me they don’t know about each other. That look is her thinking “I’m a professional diplomat, my whole job is not to get into situations like this…”
Now, we can make any number of guesses as to what exactly happened. I suspect that Luke was caught up in the party, everyone congratulating the hero of Yavin, and Han talked Leia into coming back to the Millennium Falcon with him. (You know in your heart that Han Solo prefers to screw in the Falcon whenever possible. Nobody needs to be told that; it’s just so.) Afterward, Han fell asleep and Leia wandered back to the party, where Luke no doubt glomped onto her enthusiastically, going on about how beautiful she is and how he’s wanted to meet a girl like her his whole life. Flattered and caught up in the excitement of the evening, Leia decided “what the hell” and deflowered the farmboy. The next day, she realized that neither of these was really a good idea, and neither event was repeated. This explains why, at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back, both Han and Luke believe that Leia secretly favors him over the other guy. No overt textual reason for this belief is given.
I am aware that this reading will be unwelcome to some people, but I maintain that it fits the facts better than the alternatives. I offer it to you in the spirit of fandom, and the belief that if I have to live with this crap in my head, everyone else should suffer with me.
that was the point when luke became a rebel and man and was no longer a farmboy, but a jedi…he was smiling as remembrance for what they had all done together. NOT him losing his virginity lmao
She got spit roasted by both of them. Luke tapped it again after Empire. Jobba nailed her in Return and I’m sure Lando got in that shit at some point. Leia was a slut and she loved it.
Hello, I have not read all the comments, so mine might be redundant. You wrote this long before “Princess Diarist” was published, and you were right on the money. Hamill has even given bits of confirmation over the years and more recently in light of the book, and Carries death. Personally, I am one of a dozen or so “Space Twin Deniers” in the galaxy. I see it as a manifestation of Lucas’s High Functioning Autism more than anything else. Would you be interested in allowing me and my friends to reprint this (with attribution of course) in an electronic… Read more »
Just watched all of Star Wars for the first time in the past year, and I am so glad to have found this because it’s my exact thoughts. The whole ‘Luke is gay’ thing (before I continue, let me say I’m gay too) strikes me as a way for fans to try and circumvent the very obvious (to me) fact that Luke was *REALLY* into Leia and they totally did it. Leia’s clearly a can-do modern girl — she’s kissing him within minutes of meeting him! I have no doubt she’d be willing to give that a ride, and like… Read more »
As someone who just recently saw Star Wars for the first time and before watching had only a vague knowledge of the characters and references via pop culture and therefore went in with very little, if any, preconceived notions, I have to say I thought the same as you. In fact, when A New Hope ended I sat for a good five minutes with a completely baffled look on my face. When others implored why I explained that I was confused because I thought I had heard that Luke and Leia were siblings and yet the end of the movie… Read more »
“People two star systems away saying ‘I feel a great virgin in the Force'”
That never fails to crack me up!
His white outfit was a farm boy outfit..just like when he dad wore a slave outfit on his planet. Rags.
“I feel a great virgin in the force”
When I read that I had to laugh for 5 min. straight!
Yes. It was how Chewbacca born.
Even after the ret-conning of the next two films there is a certain discomfort about their siblinghood – Luke averts his eyes each time he refers to the family tree when telling her, “it won’t be easy for you to hear but you must” (well, it certainly won’t be easy to hear when the implication is they’ve commited incest) and she looks a bit bewildered by the news. And then in the flashback to the kiss, Chewie (who is the only one there who remembers the events of Revenge of the Sith of course – yeah, I need to get… Read more »
A life, one needs to get.
Hahahaha
thtats not enough evidence to support the idea!
I remember seeing the movie in its first run and I knew (and had an endlessly long discussion with several classmates) that L and L were brother and sister at the end of the first movie. The later movies only confirmed it.
Why not both… at the same time? It’s much more logical.
This is awesome.
That’s Impossible! It was just a game of Twister. And of course we let the Wookie win!
What happens a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away stays in a galaxy far, far away.
Besides, it’s just Terran provincialism to assume that humanoids in other parts of the universe have to follow the same taboos that we do. Just because they speak modern English doesn’t mean they have our same moral structures….
I could be wrong, but I think this was one of the first scenes that was filmed and they didn’t know their characters yet. Of course, the editor and Lucas made their choices…that being said…with both of them having “the force”, that was some crazy Taboo Tattooine Sex
An interesting theory, but inconclusive.
After you’ve shot your X-Wing’s load into a 2 meter exhaust vent at 800 miles per hour, blowing up the death star, you are bound to have a little swagger that might resemble post coital satisfaction.
You earthlings are obsessed with sex. No wonder you’ve overpopulated your planet.
I’m convinced. They totally did. It also adds to the tension in Empire when Han started acting like he owned Leia at Luke’s recovery bedside. I love it. Totally makes sense.
None of the actors knew the real story about Luke and Leia being siblings when they shot the first film. Therefore it’s feasible their performances could have portrayed that, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s probably not part of the canon in any way that Leia banged her brother.
Yeah, no they didn’t. Your “argument” is ridiculous.
I saw this thing on tv about genetic sexual attraction.
From wiki: Genetic sexual attraction (GSA) is a term that describes the phenomenon of sexual attraction between close relatives, such as siblings or half-siblings, a parent and offspring, or first and second cousins, who first meet as adults.
Who first meet as adults. Like twins seperated at birth… OMG! That would make this theory very viable.
But in the end, it’s the trolls that win. Even though two people CAN have different ideas, the Internet is for MAKING people agree with you.
“I have been programmed to be fully proficient in sexual activities. Do you want to go steady?”
Wait, are you saying she did R2D2, too? I always wondered what he had hidden in those compartments.