So the cops showed up to a domestic dispute. Why do we care? Brandy Pettigrew has some thoughts.
The internet lit up yesterday with the news that Paul Simon and Edie Brickell being arrested on Saturday and charged with disorderly conduct. The charges were filed after someone in their home called 911 then hung up. Police say that someone was pushed, but won’t say who. They also say that this was a case of domestic violence. An article later in the day quotes Edie Brickell as saying “I got my feelings hurt and I picked a fight with my husband. The police called it disorderly. Thank God it’s orderly now.” After they were released today Paul Simon made the statement “We’re going to go back home today. We’re going to watch our son play baseball.”
Many want to know what started the argument. Others want to know who started the argument. I believe those people are missing the point of this kind of news. Paul and Edie reminded me that everyone fights. They reminded me that every marriage has ups and downs. The important thing is how you handle those problems when they occur.
Paul Simon and Edie Brickell have been married since 1992. The couple have three children together. Despite being married for 22 years, we’ve never heard of an argument like this before from this singing/songwriting couple. Why? That’s because they are a normal married couple. Normal married couples go through things together. Normal couples have ups and downs. They have fights and they make up. They aren’t on the news every other day with their latest publicity stunt. They are just working, taking care of their homes, taking care of their children, and being a part of each other’s lives. So, like any normal married couple Paul and Edie hit a bump in the road this weekend. Tempers flared and things were done that they now wish they hadn’t done. But in the end, they realized that it was more important to work through it. They walked into court holding hands and showed everyone that there was no need to go any further with legal action. They weren’t your typical Hollywood couple; they were just a husband and wife who had a bad day.
Paul and Edie reminded me that when my husband and I have a bad day, we are still each other’s best friend. We are still each other’s partner. We want each other. We need each other. There is no me without him, and that is worth working for. That isn’t something you throw away. That is something you cherish and hold onto. So, when we fight or when there is trouble, I will remember:
When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
—photo Alex Von Kleydorff, AP
Dr John Gottman, perhaps the country’s leading expert on marriage and divorce, estimates that 66% of marriages fail eventually. That dovetails with other stats which talk about a 50% failure rate for first marriages, a 66% failure rate for second marriages, and a whopping 75% failure rate for thirds. (This is Paul’s third, btw). So I would say that there’s no point in anyone speculating on the state of their marriage – for good or for ill. The truth is, no one has any idea whatsoever, and the need to normalize the situation is just as misguided as the need… Read more »