These are films about the issues real men face: coupling, parenthood, growing up, getting old. These are movies about the men we want to be, the men we actually are, and the men we’re glad we aren’t.
Before you ask, this is not a list of the best “guy” movies of all time. These are not the movies that you put on when all your best bros are over, the movies whose posters adorn the walls of 90 percent of male undergraduates’ dorm rooms, or the collected works of Van Damme/Schwarzenegger/Seagal. (Say what you will about the ponytailed one, but the dude was harsh in Under Siege.)
One of the “projects” of this site is to get men to talk about things they might not normally feel comfortable talking about—and movies can make excellent stimuli for such talk. I remember vividly an intense conversation some guy friends and I had after watching Noah Baumbach’s divorce tragicomedy The Squid and the Whale. It started as an argument over whether the mom (Laura Linney) or the dad (Jeff Daniels) was more of a scumbag. It ended up a frank discussion of the ethics of divorce, and how men and women can perceive them differently.
So these are the movies that (we hope) get you talking about the issues that real men face. These are movies about the men we want to be, the men we actually are, and the men we’re glad we aren’t. The men in these movies don’t necessarily carry guns, and they aren’t all ladykillers. In fact, some of them can barely talk to girls.
These are the top 10 “Good Men” movies.
Nobody’s Fool (1994, dir. Robert Benton)
“Blasphemy,” you cry? I know, how could I put a Paul Newman movie on a list of “Good Men” movies that isn’t Cool Hand Luke? Or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Or Slapshot. Or The Hustler.
Thing is, you could fill up an entire top-10 list like this one with the the films of Mr. Newman. The actor rarely played men we wanted to be, but the legendary schmucks he portrayed did make us reflect on the ideals of manliness and the long-term consequences of the things that make one “badass” in the short term. Nowhere is that bargain more clearly illuminated than in Robert Benton’s 1994 film Nobody’s Fool.
Newman plays Donald “Sully” Sullivan, an aging troublemaker living in a quiet village in western New York. Sully ekes out a living as a mediocre carpenter and spends most of his days trying to get his boss (a wonderfully insufferable Bruce Willis) to compensate him for a job that busted his knee. Sully ends up giving a job to his son (Nip/Tuck‘s Dylan Walsh) who’s lost his job as a college professor. Peter Sullivan doesn’t think much of his father, who abandoned his family when Peter was young. Peter’s young son, though, seems quite taken with his grandfather. Sully realizes that his poor fathering doesn’t preclude him from having a relationship with Peter’s son. His journey from deadbeat to family man is one of the most affecting in all of Newman’s filmography.
High Fidelity (2000, dir. Stephen Frears)
The quintessential romantic comedy for guys. Moving the setting of Nick Hornby’s novel about a heartbroken record-store owner (John Cusack) from London to Chicago seemed like a bone-headed move, but giving a Brit (Stephen Frears) control of the proceedings was a stroke of genius. He maintains the original’s nervy British wit while successfully translating the setting across the Atlantic. And, after all, a music snob’s a music snob no matter where he’s from.
The top-five lists of the movie (and the book) are classic (“Top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the ’80s and ’90s”), but the story of Rob Gordon’s attempts to reconcile with recent ex Laura (Iben Hjejle) is what makes High Fidelity the movie about relationships that doesn’t make men vomit. There’s not much of a plot to speak of, other than Rob looking up old girlfriends in an effort to understand what makes him so wretched at relationships and the staff at his record store (filled out by Todd Louiso and Jack Black at his Jack Black-iest) being assholes to customers. But it contains such simple, timeless observations about love and coupling (don’t date outside your station, don’t pin your hopes on a rebound) that it has become staple viewing for a certain type of neurotic, pop-culture-obsessed guy. It’s the romantic comedy your girlfriend might not get.
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946, dir. Frank Capra)
The only thing people seem to remember about It’s a Wonderful Life is the out-of-body experience George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) has towards the end of the film. That accounts for only a fraction of the film’s two-hour-and-10-minute running time, though, and the rest of the film is a rather grim journey through the frustrated ambitions of Bailey, a small-town guy with a Springsteen-esque dream to break out of his one-horse hometown and see the world. But he again and again sacrifices his own happiness for those around him and ends up stuck in Bedford Falls running his family’s bank and living in his dream house, which turns out to be a decrepit piece of junk.
It’s a Wonderful Life is a lot of things: a plea for fiscal sanity, an optimistic fable about the power of a single person, a classic Christmas movie. But at its core, it’s about a man who realizes that life doesn’t necessarily turn out well for the noble. George strives above all to be a good man, to see his family and community survive and succeed. But the burden of being his town’s savior begins to crush him, turning him into a wretched, hateful drunk who lashes out at his wife and children. Things turn out well for George in the end, but the film makes you wonder whether there will be a happy ending for the men around the world leading lives of quiet desperation.
Do the Right Thing (1989, dir. Spike Lee)
“Doctor!”
“C’mon, what. What?”
“Always do the right thing.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I got it, I’m gone.”
Spike Lee’s masterful 1989 film Do the Right Thing did such a good job of encapsulating the roiling ethnic tensions of modern urban America that it pretty much makes every other social problem film irrelevant (I’m looking at you, Crash). Lee directs and stars in the film, which chronicles one ungodly hot day in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn. Spike Lee transforms what could be a preachy movie version of a sociology paper into an evocative, multi-sensory masterpiece. Cinematographer Ernest Dickerson’s exquisite, painterly compositions practically ooze off the screen, and the soundtrack complements the on-screen turmoil with a hodgepodge of jazz, gospel, and hip-hop.
The brilliance of the title and the above dialogue between Lee’s Mookie and Da Mayor (Ossie Davis) is that it’s hard not only to actually do the right thing but, indeed, to figure out what that right thing might be. Lee gives us a cast of subtly drawn characters, one that lacks clear heroes and villains. Most of these people, even the foolish Pino (John Turturro), basically want to do good. Did restaurant owner Sal (a world-class Danny Aiello) do the right thing when he destroyed the jukebox belonging to Radio Raheem (Bill Nunn)? What about Mookie, when he threw the trash can through the window of Sal’s Pizzeria? Or the cops that (spoiler alert) strangle Raheem to death? Do the Right Thing forces us to discern right from wrong when all we’ve got is stimuli.
Brokeback Mountain (2005, dir. Ang Lee)
A friend referred to Ang Lee’s elegiac western romance Brokeback Mountain as a movie about “a series of failings of manhood.” That, I think, nicely encapsulates the story of a forbidden romance between two cowboys (Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger) who meet while herding sheep on the fictional Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. The two fall in love, not without some hesitation, and manage to see each other a few times a year as they go through their own lives of, what else, quiet desperation (seems to be a recurring theme on this list). Jack Twist (Gyllenhaal) tries again and again to get Ennis (Heath Ledger) to leave his sham of a normal life behind and buy a ranch with Jack out in the boonies. Ennis declines.
Sure, Ennis is right that two cowboys living wifeless together would attract unwanted attention. But he refuses Jack’s offer more because he’s unwilling to admit what who he really is. Critics have apparently debated whether or not Ennis can really be called “gay,” but it’s obvious that he feels little affection for either his wife (Michelle Williams) or the bar waitress (Linda Cardellini) he shacks up with for a spell.
It’s hard to overstate just how verboten Jack and Ennis’ affair would have been in that place at that time. America is still fairly queasy about homosexuality (although getting less so), and the rural West and South would have been practically rabid at the time. But the two could have transplanted themselves to a friendly area if they really wanted to. (I’m envisioning an alternate-universe Brokeback with the two moving to Castro Street.) But Ennis wants so badly to maintain the appearance of the life he thinks he wants that he’s willing to see that life crumble around him. As the years scrape by, the already impassive Ennis becomes virtually bloodless, until we finally see a (tragic) sign of life as he goes to retrieve Jake’s ashes from his boyhood home. The question is, who’s really alive at that point?
I don’t like the list. I was expecting better movies, maybe less known, about not only a good person but an impeccable one. The kind of movies that put you in a perfect inspiring mood. For example, I recently re watched Akira Kurosawa’s Red Beard (the best IMO), High and Low, Sanjuro and Yojimbo. Give them a try even if you feel Japanese or black and white movies are not your thing, impeccable movies about impeccable characters.
Any post that proposes a “Ten Best List” of anything is fraught with problems. That said, I’d like to include two films that deserve mention. The first is John Sayles’ Lone Star (1996). It offers a instructive spectrum of men. Kristofferson. Cooper. Joe Morton. Matthew McConaughey. Yaphet Kotto. This film demonstrates the complicated legacies men receive from the fathers. My second choice is John Cassavetes’ Husbands (1970). The relationship between Harry, Archie, and Gus (played by long-time co-conspirators Ben Gazarra, Peter Falk, and Cassavetes respectively) is a great portrait of men in grief for the loss of their friend and… Read more »
Hahahaha – some of the feedback is hilarious… Does this planet have a testosterone bar along which “all things manly” can be measured? I mean, somewhere in a museum in Paris is the ultimate “one meter” bar, for example…. 🙂 Impossible, I think. Three billion men on Planet Earth, and they all like their coffee different from the neighbour – hahahaha My ultimate dick flick: Shipping News, with an outstanding cast, and the best final line ever for a movie. Paris Texas would have done well too here, in this list. Thanks, well done! Like the courage with which you… Read more »
A limited list, but not bad. I would add Clint Eastwood’s “Grand Torino”, “Million Dollar Baby” and “Unforgiven” to the list. Each one depicts a man who must grapple with morality in a real way. Spike Lee’s “The Miracle of Saint Anna” was great too. This was more than just a war movie. It was about redemption. Jack Nicholson in “As Good as it Gets” plays a misanthrope who breaks out and finds decency and compassion in his life. Add to the list Bruce Willis in “Unbeakable” and “The Sixth Sense:. These men had to face their destiny. And as… Read more »
trying to narrow it down to 10 is definitely difficult and kudos for making the effort because you open yourself to a lot of scrutiny putting something like this together. BUT a fairly week top ten – one foreign film (major flaw) and so many missing that I have to question your overall experience as a cinemaphile. No offense but here are some I would have on MY top ten: He Got Game (Not DTR); Cinema Paradiso; Billy Elliot (how could you not include that??); Nothing in Common; Fight Club (hello?); Sleepers. You worked against yourself when you mentioned Cool… Read more »
eh i liked sideways but now that i think about it i only like a few bits and for the rest I felt like it was overly pompous. but for a foreign film that we’ve all forgotten that i really think is a beautiful representation of a father son relationship and the struggles we all face in life, i think you have to consider The Bicycle Thief. 400 blows is great and you’re right that Billy Elliot deserves a place up here, but what about the Full monty then too. It has nothing in common with Billy elliott and i… Read more »
good list. i like that you picked the searchers but i can’t get over the fact i’ve seen teak tables that are less wooden then john wayne. what about the good the bad and the ugly or, better yet, once upon a time in the west as a western addition to the list? admittedly I like leone a lot but these movies are chock full of lessons and do their best to upend an old western stereotype (however, while also creating a stereotype of their own i guess, that of the stylish, fiercely independent gunslinger who actually wins). actually thinking… Read more »
I’d like to add that, in “Nobody’s Fool,” although Sully has neglected his relationship with his own family, there are at least half a dozen people in that small town who would not survive without Sully’s help. Sully had always been a good man, even if he had not been able to figure out how to be a good father. His son’s recognition of his father’s virtues makes their reconciliation possible.
How about Smoke Signals?
Great list. I would have included Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
Good, not great list. I would take off Knocked Up because it’s horrible and Seth Rogen’s character is so unlikeable and because it portrays marriage so poorly. Leslie Mann and Kate Heigl are written as vicious shrews. Do the Right Thing is belongs on a different list. It’s characters do so much wrong that when right is done it’s overshadowed by the car wrecks they cause. Good film. Spike Lee’s second best movie after Malcolm X. I would include When A Man Loves A Woman. Andy Garcia’s performance is terrific. He shows what co-dependency can do to a human being,… Read more »
You would choose Knocked Up over I Love You, Man? Holy cow. Knocked Up is one of the worst comedies I’ve seen in the last several years. The latter film goes right to the heart of how m/m loving friendships are developed. Required viewing for guys, IMHO.
This reminds me of that time that we took a pop quiz in psychology that said, within the instructions, “this test is optional,” but only like four people read it and the rest of the class took the test and then after were like oh dang. Imagine how much internet vitriol/disagreement could be saved if people just read shit before they commented on it! We could probably power a good sized city with that energy.
Brokeback Mountain? really? When I think of “good men movies”, I’m thinking about movies that I would want to watch while with other men (ie: Rocky, Do the Right Thing, are all good ones and i like the reviews), and maybe one of those men would be my pops or my son. So, sorry, nice try with the curveball – maybe BBM would fly because you are a softy boy living with mom, but then again, GET THE EFF OUT OF THE HOUSE…maybe it’s time to hang with the guys? Sheesh, dude. And no – i’m not a homophobe –… Read more »
“These are movies about the men we want to be, the men we actually are, and the men we’re glad we aren’t.” “So these are the movies that (we hope) get you talking about the issues that real men face.” I feel as though he was abundantly clear of what he meant by ‘good men’ and what sorts of films were going to be mentioned, and for that matter not mentioned, in the list. Brokeback Mountain is definitely a curveball, but it is by no means inappropriate or inconsistent with the content of this site, or the article. But way… Read more »
Nobody’s Fool: brilliant, brilliant choice. You failed to mention Bruce Willis’ role as the guy who gets what’s coming to him.
The list of movies kinda sucks and the definition of “real men” is bogus.
To each their own.
Can’t really argue if you don’t like the list, but I’m curious as to why you take issue with the definition of “real men.” I defined it broadly as men who don’t carry laser guns, swords, or sleep with exorbitant amounts of people while foiling the plots of international terrorist organizations.
Brokeback Mountain?…no First Blood? (Rambo one)…have your mom make you some kraft mac and cheese, call your BF and make an afternoon of a real man’s movie…
I…what? Return to beginning of article. Do not pass GO. Read first sentence.
PS Mac and Cheese for LIFE.