The Top 10 Offensively Sexist Halloween Costumes For Men

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About Noah Brand

Noah Brand is an Editor-at-Large at Good Men Project, and possibly also a cartoon character from the 1930s. His life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. He is usually found in Portland, Oregon, directly underneath a very nice hat.

Comments

  1. Are you telling me that someone actually wears these things?
    The costumes aren’t only sexist, they are plain stupid.

  2. …Butt do they come in LARGE sizes ?????

  3. You should see the costumes at the NYC Village Halloween Parade!

  4. Wow. Hard ons. Hilarious. But, I’m surprised at how little they’ve been able to do with erectile disfunction Halloween costumes.

  5. Joanna Schroeder says:

    Oh God. Kill me now.

  6. *facepalm*

  7. I’m sorry but I have to admit I think these are wildly hilarious. Yes yes men are beautiful and there’s no need to laugh at the male form and so on and so forth… But what if I just love penis jokes?

  8. I’ve got to dress up as a vagina this Halloween then. With all of these dicks walking around, one has got to combat it somehow. Perhaps I’ll liven it up with some sequins and be a vajazzled vagina. SEXY

  9. Aren’t these just breath-takingly shit rather than sexist?

  10. I was in my local Halloween store a few weeks ago and they literally had an entire wall of these penis costumes. But men don’t face pressures when it chez to sex though….

  11. “sexiness is a womans job and men have exactly one thing about them that’s sexually attractive.” How ironic is it that at the bottom of every costume pictured is an add for the ‘Sausagefest’ movie Magic Mike. Did you plan that Noah?

  12. These costumes ARE stupid.
    On the other hand, you might even be able to take the walking phallus costume and make it into some kind of pro-male poltical statement- I’m just not sure what that statement would be. Or the walking penis could really be just plain ol silly. If it’s good enough for Aristophanes, it’s good enough for me.

  13. Cecil Westervelt says:

    sexiness is a womans job and men have exactly one thing about them that’s sexually attractive

    And what , pray tell is that?

  14. wellokaythen says:

    “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American people.” — H.L. Mencken

    That quote was from a long time ago, and I doubt Mencken had ever seen anything like this, but the idea still holds.

  15. wellokaythen says:

    Don’t underestimate the power of drugs or alcohol to make a bad idea seem like a brilliant idea.

  16. Schadrach says:

    I’ve seen a worse version of “priest with boner” before. It was “priest with plush altar boy attached to groin”. They can in fact get worse.

  17. John Anderson says:

    These costumes are sexist and they’re not sexy. They’re stupid. I guess male sexuality in Halloween is like a lot of male nudity in film. It’s treated as a joke. At least the sexist women’s Halloween costumes are actually sexy.

    • Yes. It’s really great that every year Halloween roles around, women AND young girls are expected to conform yet again to ideals of their attractivess and sexiness being the only thing of worth about them. It’s a great message to send all those little girls and young teenage girls isn’t it? It’s fantastic that you can now see 13 year olds dressed up in these outfits like little wanna-be strippers. It’s great that Alice in Wonderland, a inquistive child’s character has turned into a man’s porno dream. Because really, that’s all women are in our culture today. It’s a great world for women when they have to think about how sexy they are all day long and innocent things are consumed through a pornoified view. It’s great that “sex” is still the greatest thing women are believed to have to offer. Even on holidays that where once reserved for “scarey” things, but is now just a holiday to put even more pressure on women to look and act exactly how society (and a lot of men) want women to look and act. Thanks alot for that John. Thanks a lot for the “at least” and completely failing to see how freaking degrading the whole “sexy Halloween costume” thing is for women. How about no “at least”. How about recognizing that no one wins here.

      Frankly, I have never ever seen any of these male costumes ever. Although obviously they are in really really poor taste. But I have honestly never seen these costumes, has anyone else?? How big is the market for this really? Noah said that female sexy costumes were “80%” of the industry..Noah is that a cited statistic? I always thought that it was probably 90% or more of tne industry. And these costumes for men? Probably what…5% of the industry? Not saying it’s not an interesting article but I would actually like to see men jump on board with being vocal of talking up against over sexualized female costumes since that’s really the greater majority. But usually guys make comments about how much they love Halloween because women dress like “sluts”, usually said with little smiles and “wink, wink” attitudes. I’d actually like to see guys think more about how the great marjority are affected by Halloween and taking heart with that than focusing on costumes I bet most of us haven’t ever really seen before. Unlike the fact that we’ve all probably see a sexy Alice in Wonderland or whatever.

      But that’s just me. I just think the conversation is a little misdirected for something that doesn’t happen to men nearly as much as is personified for women. But maybe it’s misguided for me to think that or selfish because this is a men’s site. I guess I just want men to start thinking about women differently.

      • John Anderson says:

        When I was younger, it always bothered me more when I was called a derogatory name for a Chinese person than when I was referred to by a derogatory word for a Filipino, which I am. If someone is going to be racist at least be racist right. That’s where I’m coming from with the Halloween costumes. If you’re going to create sexist costumes at least create costumes that are actually sexy. I agree that sexist costumes are wrong regardless of whom they’re targeted at. The at least comment is more a personal pet peeve than a social commentary.

        I think these costumes aren’t very popular with men because they’re dumb. Firemen don’t usually have fire hoses coming out of their pants. A sleeveless or shirtless construction guy with a drill or hammer hanging from the front of his tool belt might work because it’s realistic sexy not cartoonish. Women may more often wear the sexy costumes because it doesn’t make them look foolish.

        There are a lot of things I don’t think 13 year old girls (or boys) should do. Some dress I feel is inappropriate. We had a discussion once on nudity. Some of the men brought up the double standard especially being topless. Women immediately started asking how we’d feel if our daughters went around naked. My response then as it is now is that you can’t have it both ways. Father’s either have veto power over what their daughters (even adult daughters) wear or they don’t. Women should either wear what they want or should be constrained by societal expectations. I don’t feel women can have it both ways. I’m not suggesting that you feel either one way or the other.

        I think it’s a site for men, but even if it is, women are important to us too. Women’s opinions and points of view matter.

      • I think it’s absolutely stupid that they take costumes such as armored characters, such as ironman, and make them into silly “sexy” dresses for women. And sexy clothing for children is disturbing as hell fullstop.

        There is a place for sexy outfits such as the sinners ball we have in the city here (18+ event where people dress up in all kinds of sexualized outfits) but I don’t think it should be the majority of all costumes.

      • Theorema Egregium says:

        The truth is that men are not allowed to be sexy and women are not allowed to be anything BUT sexy. Each one of us lives in his or her half of that rotten, discriminating situation, sometimes wishing to be able to do what the other side is allowed (or forced) to do. That’s the way I read John’s statement, and I think it is humanly natural to feel his way.

        How about we fight TOGETHER to tear down ALL those rules, so everybody can be as sexy or unsexy as they please? The first step would be to never buy those horrible costumes from shops again and use your own creativity. Maybe I am naive to the extreme or just living in an unusal neighborhood, but I simply cannot imagine that if you went out dressed up in an unsexy way there would be an enraged sexist male mob to chase you away with pitchforks and torches. Just do what you want!

  18. Offense is in the eye of the beholder. Why the hell can’t people wear cartoonish costumes? You who else would agree with you, Noah? My grandmother and every other “good Christian” who would find these suggestive costumes sinful in their representation of a man’s unspeakables. I know you’re coming at it from another angle, but it’s the same nonsense, really. Let people have their fun and lighten up.

  19. The models are white guys. The costumes are fallace centered. Is there some connection? Why don’t African American guys wear “Big Penis” costumes?
    Then it occurred that white entertainment could have a penis facination if not a sex facination:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqlOAX-3r18. “The Ambiguosly Gay Duo” the care is a phallus?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU “Family Guy” Where the dog’s nose is a phallus?
    Is there a new sexual insecurity among white males?
    Terms such as “Great Equalizer” (Handgun) find resonance with guys who wear and are consumed with phallic symbols to such a degree. All Hallows Eve is still a cool night for the kids though. Still, hit the cited links and wake up to what’s happening with the stupification of the white male.

  20. I don’t think these costumes are sexist.

  21. Kevin Breen says:

    I think a lot of men would love to dress in revealing Halloween costumes if they thought women would actually find it sexy. That’s why you only see sexy male costumes in gay culture.

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