You can spend the long weekend catching up on the Oscar-nominated movies. You could see one of the new releases — films so wretched they’re tossed into theaters in the dead month of February. Or you could remember all the times Jesse Kornbluth has guided you to pleasure and insight and watch “After the Wedding,” the film he has loved best in this decade.
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David Carr died of a heart attack in the Times newsroom on Thursday night. If you knew him, you weep. But you also remember his story: drug addiction so severe he did 4 stints in rehab. He could have died at any time along the way. But he had two daughters — and he had a friend who showed up every Sunday to babysit the girls so Carr could go to meetings. (Later, when his friend was dying, Carr leaned over him to whisper: “I owe you every fucking thing in the world.”) A good woman took him in and made a home for him and his kids, and then he got his dream job covering media for the Times. In his book, he writes: “I now inhabit a life I don’t deserve.” It’s the only thing he wrote that was bullshit. To read about his book, click here.
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The first time I saw “After the Wedding,” I didn’t see all of it — like just about everyone else in that theater, for the entire last half hour I was afflicted by a bout of silent sobbing that wouldn’t quit.
I cherish that amazing, unforgettable experience: several hundred people weeping together.
And then — I’m not spoiling the movie here — came a “happy ending” that is perhaps the most satisfying conclusion of any film I’ve seen in a decade.
Satisfying because the characters earned it. There was a huge price for each of them to pay, and they stepped up to it. They earned the right to better. And, because you have lived their struggles with them, you leave the movie with the kind of satisfaction that no studio-financed, movie-by-committee-and-focus-group can give you. [To buy the DVD of “After the Wedding” from Amazon for the ridiculous price of $9.29, click here. To rent or buy the video stream, click here.]
The crazy thing about this unforgettable movie: The story is pure soap opera. Really. On a low budget, with no-name actors and maybe even this script, “After the Wedding” would be right at home on Lifetime.
Consider the plot. Jacob, a Dane in his 30s, works in an orphanage in India. He hasn’t been home in 20 years, and that’s just fine with him. Bad news: The orphanage is running out of money. Good news: Jørgen, a philanthropist, wants to write the large check that will save it. On one condition: He wants to meet the recipient. The woman who runs the orphanage can’t go. Well, Jørgen is Danish, Jacob is Danish. Jacob should go.
Reluctantly, Jacob flies to Denmark. Jørgen listens to his pitch for only a few minutes before seeming to lose interest — it’s the weekend of his daughter’s wedding. To which Jacob should come. It’s not, after all, like he has anything else to do.
At the wedding, the first surprise: Helene, Jørgen’s wife, was once Jacob’s lover. (Does she look familiar? If you’ve been watching Borgen, you know that Sidse Babett Knudsen plays the first female Prime Minister of Denmark.)
Helene was the lover who broke Jacob’s heart. The lover who sent him scurrying off to India, an orphan hiding among orphans.
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Other surprises: I’ll spare you. And encourage you to read not a word more about the story — let the twists and turns sear you as they roll out. But I’ll go this far: The rich and poor, the white and the colored, Europeans and Indians — the moral lessons are so easy, aren’t they? Or are they? Is Jacob’s moral purity really an emblem of superiority? Is Jørgen’s privileged life a sign of a rotting soul? You’ll judge — you can’t help it — but when it’s over….
When it’s over, you’ll want to thank director Susanne Bier, a Danish filmmaker whose last film, Brothers, is also a memorably wrenching drama. Mads Mikkelsen — who plays Jacob (and was the villain in “Casino Royale”) — will make you forget all other young actors; he’s not only shockingly handsome, he can make reticence and distance both intimate and compelling. And Jørgen, played by Rolf Lassgård — when the film ends, you’ll find yourself replaying his performance to take note of all that you missed. And was there ever a trophy wife as radiant, loving and thoughtful as Helene (Sidse Babett Knudsen)?
“After the Wedding” was Denmark’s entry for Best Foreign Language Film at the 2007 Academy Awards. It lost to the German film, “The Lives of Others.” I would have voted differently.
There are DVDs you rent from Netflix. You watch them, you send them back; you got the amusement you paid for. But sometimes, very rarely, there are DVDs you buy. You buy them because you think they define a time in your life. Or because you think you’ll want to watch them again. Or because you want to press the film on someone you love and say, “Here. This. A life-changer.” That, in every possible way, is “After the Wedding.”
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This article originally appeared on The Head Butler.
Photo courtesy of movie trailer.