VH1’s new reality show, Dad Camp, wants its young dads to man up. Good luck with that.
Let me just say this: I hate reality television on principle.
From the dramatic, clichéd cinematography to the dramatic, clichéd personalities, it all reeks of insincerity and manipulation.
VH1’s “Dad Camp”—about six pregnant couples trying to save their relationships—has its fair share of that, but at least there’s a message here: Men need to man up. The show opens with President Obama’s now famous speech about how dads need to get their acts together.
Hank Stuever at the Washington Post began his review of Dad Camp this way: “Once again, VH1 lapses into a familiar pattern: horrible show about dating followed by therapeutic attempts to mend the social fabric.”
He’s right that there is dating and therapy, but I’m not so sure it’s horrible. There is an epidemic of men not taking responsibility for their actions or owning up to their mistakes. This show calls them out. The behavior that got them to their current situation isn’t admirable. But the fact that the couples are at least making an effort to build a home for their babies is.
The couples will spend thirty days undergoing therapy at the hands of “Dr. Jeff,” a psychologist who exercises tough love: “You can’t even take care of yourselves. How the hell are you going to take care of a baby?”
And boy, does he nail the men in their hypocrisy. We hear them say how committed they are to becoming good fathers, but the next minute we see them partying, lying, cheating, and making excuses to their girlfriends.
“For this five minutes of sex, if she gets pregnant, I don’t give a fuck,” Aaron, one of the boyfriends, tells the other men on their way to the set. “I’m a grown man; I’m allowed to do whatever I want.”
Makes you wonder why the ladies stay with those losers at all, but at least they’re trying to work out their relational issues. A few of the women mention that they came from homes with absent fathers. They cite this as a reason for pain in their own childhoods and a reason why they want the dads in their babies’ lives. A few of the men do, too.
Some may argue that outdated conservatism is forcing these kids to stay together and eventually get married. Fine. Although society’s understanding of gender roles is changing, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for two baby-makers to stick it out. More power to them.
To me, Dad Camp is a breath of fresh air, a change from the usual reality show message of no limits, no consequences.
—Seth Putnam
I might watch this. I don’t think the punishment model is a good way to frame it though. Kids might sometimes be accidental, but it should not be viewed as a punishment to parent them. Unfortunately there are too many men with unplanned children who do not view child raising as their responsibility, and that is a sad thing. I do believe we can change this though by encouraging people to focus less on the idea of a good father as being someone who provides almost exclusively financial support, and more as someone who provides emotional and physical care for… Read more »
Ben, the womans’ choice huh…? Then, if that is the case, what happens when Daddy wants to choose? With your concept, he’s powerless to keep or abort Baby if Mom chooses either opposite. Taking your contribution further, parenthood must therefore be the sole responsibility of the mothers’ since that’s how it started. That way, Baby grows in her religion and political party and her take on where to invest such resources like time, charity, outreach, and money; all as opposed to yours. I very much appreciate your opinion, and the impetus to publish it, Ben, you’re a leader in doing… Read more »