About Matthew Salesses

Matthew Salesses contributed to the very first day of The Good Men Project. He writes the "Love, Recorded" column about his wife, baby, and cats. He has written for The New York Times, NPR, the Center for Asian American Media, Salon, The Rumpus, and others. He is the author, most recently, of Different Racisms: On Stereotypes, the Individual, and Asian American masculinity. See more at his eponymous website. Contact him via email or @salesses.

You’re Projecting It Onto Us White People!

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Matthew Salesses on the dilemma of how to talk about adoption without hurting loved ones.

#Ferguson Cops Want to Believe They Are Right, Not Racist

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“What the cops want, on some level, is to believe their version of the world, that black people are dangerous.” By Matthew Salesses

The Fortune Cookie as Parent

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In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” how do we give our children advice that is both enough and not so much that it stifles them. Look to the cookie?

Accident

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In the latest installment of “Love, Recorded,” a car named Kiki gets in an accident. But what really hurts is the crash between the present and the past.

The Ways We Talk, the Ways We Listen

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“My brother visits from Korea with his girlfriend, S. If they marry, I will not be the only adoptee in the family to return to Korea and marry a Korean woman.” By Matthew Salesses

The Powers That Beast: What is the Adoptee Voice Worth?

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“Adoptee voices must be included in conversations about adoption. Adoptee voices must be valued.” By Matthew Salesses

A Civilized Christmas

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In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” the baby falls in love, unrequited, and Matt ponders the socialization element of the holidays.

Zombie Holiday

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In this installment of Matt Salesses’s “Love, Recorded:” loneliness, recorded.

20 Rules for Good (and Healthy) Internet Citizenship

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Matthew Salesses illustrates the concept of good netizenship with kittens and celebrities.

A Month of Thankfulness: Adoptive Parents

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Adoption is a complicated thing, but Matthew Salesses wants to be sure to thank his adoptive parents for being there when he needed them.

Halloween Is for White People

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In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” Matt takes his daughter to a Halloween party and wonders: Is Halloween a White People Holiday?

Give Me My Smartphone or Give Me Death

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In the latest installment of “Love, Recorded,” phones stop working. Does life go on?

Should Authors Write Characters Outside Their Race?

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Should an author write characters of a different race than his own? Is that exploitation? Appropriation? Race denial? Or is it the author’s right? A conversation with Bill Cheng and Christine Lee Zilka on writing outside one’s race.

Sensory Issues

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Sometimes facing your child’s issues means facing your own issues. In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” Matt Salesses breaks down over sensory problems he didn’t know he had.

25 Ways Moving Is as Stressful as Death

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The “Love, Recorded” Guide to Staying Sane (and Married) While Moving, in 25 Points.

The Place Where We Were

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“T. seemed to me an entirely wholesome child, as if he could never have survived public school. Perhaps that is how I set myself apart from him. Perhaps I was trying to scare him.” An excerpt from Daddy Cool.