About xoJane

xoJane.com, Jane Pratt's lifestyle site for women, is not about changing yourself to fit any mold of what others think you should be. It is about celebrating who you are. Like Sassy and Jane before it, xoJane.com is written by a group of women (and some token males) with strong voices, identities and opinions, many in direct opposition to each other, who are living what they are writing about.

Top 5 Pieces of Advice For Having A Sex Life That Doesn’t Suck


Ever wondered what a sex therapist REALLY thinks is the best advice? Vanessa Martin shares her inside scoop on initiation, rejection, and innovation.

Yet Another Teenage Boy Is Struggling With the Normalization of His Rape

AP Photo/Alberto E. Rodriguez

Rape has never been about seduction. It has always been and will always be about power.

I Married A Military Man

I'm at my proudest walking around town with Ryan in his dress blues.

Cary Carr understands that she made a big sacrifice when she married Ryan. He understands that, too.

We’re Here, We’re Trans, And We’re In Your Pop Culture

Chaz Bono, Candis Cayne

Will 2014 be the the trans tipping point in pop culture?

Are Video Games About War Hurting The Emotional Development Of Boys And Men? (Maybe They Don’t Have to)

Video Games

Some video game trivialize war and violence but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Childhood Abuse Doesn’t Necessarily Turn You into a Psycho Killer


Tweet Jenn Rose notes that sexual abuse happens to a lot of children—one in four girls and one in six boys. So is a dark future inevitable for each? — In the media coverage of alleged “Craigslist killer” Miranda Barbour, a lot has been made of her checkered past. Whether you believe she’s a heroin-addicted […]

How Not To Be A Jerk To A Trans Person


Gabe Ramsay explains the basics of how to be respectful to trans people, including to never out people without their permission. Just don’t do it.

My Husband and I Have Never Celebrated Valentine’s Day – And We’re Really Happy

Us, after a trade show: dazed, confused, and a little glowy. Our friend Harrison Stone took this picture of us, and managed to still make us look human after a show, because he is just that amazing. I love you, Harrison!

Sarah Eyre and her husband Sam just don’t do Valentine’s Day, and it’s worked out really well for the last 16 years.

“Mom, Why is Everyone Here White?” What My Son Knows About Race That I Didn’t

rebecca carroll crop

Rebecca Carroll was adopted by white parents, and saw the world through their eyes. Now, as the mother of a son who is black, she is seeing the reality of race in a whole new way.

I Am a Gigolo


What’s life like for a guy getting paid to service women? Vin Armani, in his own words.

Police Officer Shoots Restrained, Compliant Teen: Why Cops Should Not Be First Responders in Mental Health Crises

Policing has improved greatly since 1911, but it has a long way to go. 

Photo: Bruce R

70 seconds. That’s what it took to take a defusing situation to a blood-soaked tragedy. What happened?

Can We End The War Between Parent and Non-Parent Friends?

grumpy baby is still adorable

Amy Westervelt calls for a truce between the child-having and the child-free and offers some helpful tips for mending fences.

How I Got Over My Obsession With Having a Traditional, ‘Perfect’ Engagement

Photo: Flickr / Philip Taylor

Even after ten years in a happy relationship, my boyfriend showed zero interest in popping the question — so I took matters into my own hands.

I Was a Make-a-Wish Kid and My Wish Was as Great as Batkid’s

Me, running out to the mound.

Eric Leslie writes an open letter to his 6 year-old self about dreaming big, heart disease, and throwing the first pitch at a Pirates game.

10 Reasons Reading Rob Delaney’s Book Will Make Your Life Better

This man will make you laugh.

Rob Delaney is more than a hairy Twitter King in a green speedo, he’s the author of a legitimately great book.

How Not to Be a Jerk on Black Friday


Take it as someone who’s worked retail for many years – you’re probably being a jerk to sales associates without even knowing it.