Open Thread: How Do You Swear In Front of the Kids?

Sometimes there’s nothing better than a well placed expletive, unless little ears are within range.

“Ohhhhh… sugar.”

“Agh… cheese and rice, what now?

“Oh fudge!”

“What the… goshdarn heck is wrong with this… dam-building thing now?”

If you have or are around children, you have probably had to carve up perfectly good profanity into some kind of edited-for-TV “Yippee-ki-yay, Mister Falcon” version of cussing.

How do you manage it? What PG versions of popular words and phrases do you find yourself resorting to?

What word do you refuse to remove from your vocabulary? Why?

Photo: danpeerflix/Flickr

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  1. I feel like I’m constantly shushing my husband and his buddies in public because he swears quite often (as do I) and pays little attention to his volume and surroundings (e.g., dropping F-bombs when we’re at the zoo). It’s actually not even for the kids’ sake that I do this, but because I don’t want to incur the wrath of any overprotective parents.

    I’m also among the immature who think kids swearing is funny. Or it can be. I have a memory from childhood where we were getting ready to leave to go somewhere as a family, and I said to my parents, “We don’t need any damn jackets.” I even remember thinking, at the time, that I didn’t know why I was using that word but it was sure to get a reaction out of them – which it did, just a stern talking-to about using that kind of language. I can only laugh when I think back on it.

    Somewhat related: I remember an elementary school music class when we had a substitute teacher, one of the high school music teachers. And as a class we sang the “Where is Thumbkin?” song which, mid-song, results in a whole class full of nine-year-olds with their middle fingers in the air. Even the teacher couldn’t keep a straight face.

  2. I work in childcare, so I’ve trained myself to avoid it pretty well. I either use Finnish swearwords, (perkele!) or Colonial ones (Frak!) pretty much exclusively when I’m at work.

    Honestly tho, I don’t think you can beat “slippin’ rippin’ dang-fang zarg-barg-a-ding-dong!!

  3. I try hard, but I’ve got a foul mouth.

    I’ve found that the best thing I can do, rather than try to convince my son not to curse, is to simply train him on where & when cursing is ok, and where it’s not. He knows it’s not ok at school or in public, but if he does it at home, it’s ok, within reason. So far it seems to be working.

  4. Kevin Carter says:

    When my niece was 5 she started on the this no swearing kick (via grandparents) and started to try enforce it. I swore once and she gave me the finger pointing and lecture about swearing. It was cute for 5 seconds. Then I told her that “I will try remember but I am an fucking adult and your Uncle” She then ran to her mom and told on me. lol


  1. […] An open thread at The Good Men Project asks readers how they swear in front of the kids. […]

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