Video: Breathtaking 1-Minute Love Story

Huge thanks to our friends at UpWorthy for sharing this great little story.

 

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  1. First of all I want to say how much I love the Good Men Project. It’s so much fun to read all the positive, enlightening, thought-provoking posts on here.

    I have to say that this video makes me very sad. I kept refreshing and watching again, just hoping to feel the same feelings that other gay men described to me when they watched it. All of that optimism and hopefulness seemed to escape me and it after about the 5th refresh I finally started to understand why.

    I can’t ever envision this future for myself.

    As a 21 year old gay man the entire process of coming out and becoming comfortable with myself is coming to a close and I can honestly say that the transition was an order of magnitude smoother than what I had expected. Most of the obstacles that we in the gay community believe prevent us from living happy fulfilled lives with the people that we love have not been present for me. My parents are affirming, as are most of my friends. I do believe that someday marriage equality will be achieved.

    While I have been on the receiving end of plenty of homophobia, I honestly can’t say it’s had a profound impact on my ability to get through the world. Most of it came at the hands of idiots in high school or people on the internet. These people owed me nothing. We shared no connection. They had no reason to want to protect me from hurt or suffering or make me feel welcome.

    As a child I remember being pretty boy-crazy. I like all kinds of boys. Black, White, Asian, Latino made no difference. I assumed that once I came out, that I would be able to have a shot with all of the boys that I liked. But sadly that is not the case.
    I’m not a bad looking guy (basing this off of attention from women) and I would like to think that I have a pretty nice personality as well, but I’ve made the fundamental mistake of being born black.

    Trying to get a date in the gay community as a black or Asian man can be as brutal as the NFL draft. I can’t even count the number of men who have told me that they are not “into black men” or date “whites only.” This wasn’t what I expected when I came out. I had imagined a community that would be open and accepting. I’m only 21 and I’ve already experienced enough racism after trying to get a date as I have in the entire earlier portion of my life. The level of white-bias in the gay community is truly extraordinary, and it’s something that is rarely discussed.

    In a sense, it makes me not want to root for gays, because my heart isn’t in it. Why support rights that I will never get to exercise. Why continue trying to put fuel in a rocket to blast all of my white brothers off to a beautiful star while I suffer on the dying planet that they have left behind with all of the other peoples deemed undesirable by mainstream gay culture.

    There have been so many times that I have hated being gay, because of how gay people treat each other. Being a man of color in the gay community I feel completely betrayed. I feel like these issues aren’t taken seriously. As a result, I don’t really feel that they push for gay marriage is about me. Nothing else in the gay community seems to be. I’m not saying these things from a point of bitterness, but from a point of actual despair. I spent my whole life fearing that people would never accept me for being gay, but it turns out that the majority of all of the rejection I have faced in my life, has come from this awful color that worships white men at the expense of everyone else.

    I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I don’t really care about gay marriage. It feels like just another chapter of a very uplifting story whose pages have no room for people who look like me.

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