I thought it was impatience, but it was actually envy. Want to end it with me?
—
I realized I’m a hypocrite.
For all the talking and writing I do about having patience, I’m not very patient when it comes to my own success.
Have I achieved more at 23 than most? I suppose.
But what does that even mean? What’s it worth?
There are nights when I lay awake thinking–dreaming–about more. Getting more, achieving more, having more.
What about you?
Am I impatient? Or is it something else?
Sometimes I’ll stretch the truth.
Despite what I’ve actually accomplished, I’ll say things in ways that make me sound more accomplished. But why?
Why wouldn’t I tell the whole truth without exaggerating?
Do you ever do this?
I thought I was impatient, but maybe that’s a misdiagnosis. When people are impatient, they have a sense of entitlement. They want something they haven’t earned, and they’re looking for the quickest way to get it.
Sure, there are times when I’m impatient, but I’ve gotten pretty good at handling that.
It’s a long game, I remind myself. It’s a long, long game.
So if it’s not impatience that keeps me wanting more, then what is it?
It’s not impatience. It’s envy.
I’ll admit it: I can be envious of people who have achieved more than me.
It’s an ugly feeling, which makes it worth talking about. There’s a lot of envy in the world. I’m around entrepreneurs all day and all night. Let me tell you, it’s difficult to not be envious when you’re running in this circle.
There’s so much talk about other founders and what they’ve achieved.
We talk about other’s revenues, media coverage, investors, and exits. We talk about other’s tactics, strategies, luck, and progress.
That chatter can be unhealthy.
My war on envy.
What I thought was impatience was something more sinister: envy.
But I didn’t realize that all by myself. I’m not that wise! It took reading a fantastic piece by one of my favorite writers–Ryan Holiday–to help me see what I was really feeling.
He admits to being jealous, too.
“I wish I didn’t think those nasty, entitled thoughts. Who does? I find it to be even more embarrassing because when I really think about it, I have pretty much everything I want. But envy follows me like a shadow, as it does for a lot of people.”
I’m tired of feeling envious of people who have achieved more than me.
Will you commit to ending envy with me?
We can’t help that they’re older or started sooner than us. None of that matters. They’ve achieved what they have, and we’ll do the same.
We’ll put in the work. We’ll create our own breaks. We’ll believe in ourselves.
We’ll stay drive. We’ll stay focus. We’ll be patient.
And most importantly, we’ll be grateful.
Are you with me?
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo: Flickr/Andres Rodriguez