#34: Abooda

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He is hunting for toads—or, as he calls them, “ABOODA!”

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#33: Heartbreak

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“I was in Pennsylvania for my uncle’s wedding. Less than a week prior I had broken up with my boyfriend.”

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#32: Gas Tank

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“He was always more proud of his vacuum job than of subsidizing my trip.”

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#31: The Mechanic

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“It sounds like you need a belt replaced. What year is your car?”

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#30: Crutches

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“Opening doors for a lady goes a long way when she’s on crutches.”

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29: Virus

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“I think I owe Ryan a few more burritos.”

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#28: Protector

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“But you wanted a baby sister!”

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#27: Lobster Pots

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“It’s the kind of human suffering for which there is no answer, only witness.”

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#26: The Best Friend

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“To this day he has never asked me out.”

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#25: Baby Face

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“A blessing of genetics.”

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#24: Cowboy

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“Daddy, will you stay with me for a little while?”

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#23: The Tour

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“It’s not twelve hours after the second phone call, and he’s ready to do what it takes to make it right at home.”

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#22: Fixing a Flat

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“And it was then that Mary Ann asked for a hug. Laich had one for her, another for her daughter.”

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#21: Celebrity Ticket

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“Hi, I’m Chuck Palahniuk, here for the keynote address,”

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#20: Southie

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“Bingo! Let’s go help some sick motherfuckers who have a hell of a lot more to worry about than you do.”

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#19: Sing Sing

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“Why did he go back into the dungeon where he had experienced such suffering?”

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