If you started being yourself today, what would you do differently than you are doing right now?
From G to writer on Yes, It’s True. Not Everyone Will Like You by Dillan DiGiovanni.
Trouble is Mr. DiGiovanni, a lot of us were always told or brainwash to get along with people even if it meant the loss of our self-confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem. No one told us when to cut our losses and move on to better things or meet better people in life. If you have a real bad boss/co-workers, unless the economy improves, there is not much you can do to deal with it. Many of us did not listen to our own advice as kids due to trying to fit in, were too busy to sit down to analyze our situation, and then make the decision to go it alone, plus getting garbage from our parents about trying ticket punch everything in order to be successful. Many of us didn’t not get support from our parents when it comes to backing us up .
G, I hear you. And the truth is, I can only write what I write because I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. I’ve lived it, and still do. I didn’t have the support of my family for just about every life choice I’ve made including quitting a stable teaching job and coming out not once but twice. We are given mixed messages–I totally agree with you. Be yourself, as long as you do it like this—and then there’s a long list to follow, hardly a list about truly being you. So, tell me, starting today–what loss would you cut to make a change? If you started being yourself today, what would you do differently than you are doing right now?
Dear Mr. DiGiovanni:
First thing I am doing is not taking any more verbal abuse from bad women, bad minorities, bad managers, and bad co-workers. If they start to chew me out for no reason except being a bully and being on a power trip, I will start to throw it right back to them.
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad freeAnother loss that I am cutting out is not seeing my parents and family members anymore. My blood pressure goes up (as well as my anger) plus clenching my teeth and hands when I have to visit them. Like you, I still lived it and still regret not doing things that I should have done even if it meant getting thrown out of the house by my parents or being send to the hospital by my brothers or by other people because I stood up to them.
If I could start all over again, I would have tried to be an entrepreneur and be a millionaire long before I reach the age of 18. Then if my parents threw me out of the house, I would at least have the money to rent an apartment, paid for food, clothing, etc., and being able to stay in school. I would also learn how to fight physically so if someone wants to hit me, they are going to face some heavy medical bills plus a lawsuit and prison time for trying to use violence.
Editor’s note: The Good Men Project does not condone racist, sexist, or homophobic language or violence. However, we reprinted these comments as an illustration of the conversations and interactions that can take place as the result of our posts. You can look for more of these in the future.