This is a comment by Notavi on the post “Can’t Get Laid“.
I think a part of the issue is communication. When two people meet there isn’t really any effective way to know what page two people happen to be on about such a controversial topic as casual sex—so there’s no easy way to know whether suggesting it might result in drama.
The shame about multiple partners that women suffer also has a secondary effect here, as it means that some women interpret a man expressing this kind of interest as an insult—because if he thinks she might be interested, surely that must mean he has a low opinion of her as a woman …
Which just serves to compound the chilling effect the shame creates—everyone is afraid to raise the topic for fear of either embarrassment or causing offense. I’m not sure how we can defuse that, but removing it from the equation would probably be quite helpful in addressing this issue.
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I don’t understand why people think casual sex will solve anything. Casual sex sucks. Hell sex itself often sucks. Men who want casual sex should just go to prostitutes. I think when men complain they can’t get laid they really mean that they can’t form sexual relationships with women. And that is something casual sex has nothing to do with. Everything gets reduced to sex which is important but only a small part of the problem. What is casual sex exactly? You meet someone you don’t know, don’t trust, have no emotional connection to and don’t even like that much… Read more »
I think that whether or not you like casual sex is irrelevant. Some people get immense enjoyment from casual sex. I appreciate the fact that people like Louise C.K are busting myths about men but that doesn’t mean we should go full swing the opposite way and deny the diversity of sociosexual styles and realities. I don’t think that it is true that casual sex always equals a one night stand. I think that is a huge myth but nobody ever notices that its untrue because once sex goes beyond the first night it automagically becomes a “relationship.”
Speak for yourself, paartnah!
I think that it is fair to say that many people do not raise the prospect of casual sex within certain undefined contexts although obviously many people do or otherwise one would not here complaints about such behavior. I have never been able to identify the context that a remark such as “guys are trying to get into my pants but they aren’t getting any” refers to. Maybe these men are in some way being rude or crude in manner that I myself would find rude or crude. But I do not know, all I know is the “guys trying… Read more »