This is a comment by Todd Mauldin on the post “Do Guys Fight For Their Friendships? (Hint: NYT says ‘No’; I say ‘Hell, Yes’!)“
“My experience is that male friendship is alive and well and critical to growth as a man. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who finds the conclusions in Ben’s article difficult to swallow. The article seems to try to make the author’s specific deal with friendship, and a friend he’s had a problem with, universal … and generalization is flawed thinking when applied to an individual. So, in the last paragraph, I think he reveals what’s really up: ‘I care about him too much to fight with him,’ and I humbly suggest that’s the real matter here.
“Ben may not want to have to fight for friendship, or his friend may not, but that’s seems the only solution. It’s a hard deal but I don’t find it to be uncommon and it is one of the most foundational things for growth as a person … getting crossed up with a friend. I believe confrontation usually leads to growth and strengthening, at least in my experience.
“So I wish Ben well, but I can’t put much stock in his premise, that all or even most men don’t know how to fight for each other’s friendship, aren’t capable of working stuff out and maintaining friendships, or won’t do it. Things don’t really even start getting real in a relationship until somebody is about to walk away, that’s when things are adjusted, renewed and strengthened. And yeah, it’s honesty and vulnerability and tenacious fighting that usually lead to that adjustment. Just my $0.02 on a very interesting topic.”
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