This is a comment by QuantumInc on the post “Are Men Lazy?“
QuantumInc said:
“We call it ‘having it all’ however to me it seems more like an attempt to be both a 1950′s dad and a 1950′s mom at the same time. Women go off to work, trying to have full time careers equal to that of the men in that field, but they also feel to need to be there for their children. Obviously responsible parenting requires a lot of work, it induces a lot of stress, and means being on call 24/7. But equally obviously it is only half as hard if it is split among two people, or even more (i.e. outside the nuclear family). Men are also pressured to do both, but overall there is a much, much stronger push towards being the breadwinner.
“I think it is obvious that no one should simply give in to whatever their partner’s desires are, and that giving in to social pressures is even worse. So no a man shouldn’t necessarily throw everything into work just because his wife wants to be a traditional mother. However he should seriously consider it. We should all consider the needs of our loved ones, of course they should consider ours. If you can’t have this sort of conversation post-wedding, you have bigger problems to consider. Though apparently the pull of traditional values are stronger than some people realize. Sometimes it’s not that you really consider it a good thing, but when the opposite happens you lose attraction.”
Photo credit: Flickr / libertygrace0
About the Editors
I learned a new word recently: “overfunctioning.” From what I understand, it’s a term from pop psychology that refers to people who overtax themselves, make impossible demands on their time, or are manic in taking on more and more responsibility. It’s like there is no good boundary between other people’s desires and your own needs. Or, there’s no recognition of your own limits. Overfunctioners wear themselves out. It can be a symptom of a psychological disorder. Being a workaholic can be an example of overfunctioning.
To me, trying to “have it all” is just a socially acceptable, institutionalized form of overfunctioning.
(Never been a big problem for me. I’m more on the lazy, underachieving side of the spectrum, so I may be overestimating how common this is….)