“How do I put myself in her shoes in the heat of the moment when I’m experiencing my own emotions?”

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  1. wellokaythen says:

    Extra points for difficulty if you can be present and actively listening while Mrs. Bobbitt cuts off your penis. To really put yourself in her shoes and transcend your judgmental voice in that moment is to really elevate one’s consciousness into a larger awareness of your place in that relationship. Like all things, pain is impermanent. Blood does not flow forever.

  2. A woman abused you and your response was to go about eliminated the emotions that you felt were the cause of the abuse. May i ask how is this any different than an abuser telling the person they abused that they were the cause of it ?

  3. Here’s the problem I have with “putting myself in her shoes in the heat of the moment”.

    Sometimes, putting yourself in her shoes is a BAD idea when the lashing is at its pique levels. Especially if she decides to grab the nearest blunt object and make her point further. By then, the call to introduce rationality into the confrontation goes out the window and it’s all about survival and protecting ones ‘self from harm.

  4. When does she put herself into my shoes in the middle of a disagreement? That’s a problem I’ve had for 30 years, including quite a fair amount of abuse as HER therapist stated it……at the time she claimed that was just how women were supposed to act. Guys live in fear of that disagreement that leads to loss of your kids, many women know this and use it for control. BPD like issues was what one therapist said before she found another more pliable one. Women are not any better than men, nor are they less likely to abuse another person, they do tend to use methods that are somewhat different than abusive men would.

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