“I absolutely love that everyone pretends that they know porn inside and out.”

This comment is from Michael on the post “Getting Off: Can We Talk About Porn?

I absolutely love that everyone pretends that they know porn inside and out. The fact is, the business is so successful, many of those condemning it are also likely watching it. Talking about porn in general is like talking about movies in general. Are blockbuster Hollywood films making us desensitized to violence? Probably not, and there’s a good number of Hollywood blockbusters that are made for kids, or are comedies, or worst of all, RomComs. Porn is similar in that different types of films fill certain roles. The content produced by Kink.com may be more violent than some, but it’s also couched in fantasy, and they go to great lengths to illustrate that the sex is not only consensual, but that the models are taken care of. Other big companies, like Adam and Eve, are purveyors of the classic cheese fests we often think of when porn is talked about in general, but they tend to shoot for some kind of immersive, if more gentle, fantasy. Then there are the porn parodies. I don’t know that anyone can combine getting off with laughing their ass off, but if so, more power to them.

What we need, really really need, is more serious conversation about sex, sexuality, erotica, and porn. And we need to have these conversations with our kids as well. When I caught on that my teenager was looking at porn, we had that conversation, and while it was awkward, it was also hysterical. What draws a young man into different kinds of porn isn’t the types of sex, not at first anyway. He sees a girl he thinks is attractive (or boy,if he swings that way) and follows up on that person. It’s enough that she’s naked, honestly, but the sex part becomes important later. We should also be having these conversations with the porn actors themselves. Want to stop the dehumanization of people in sex films? Then stop relegating these people to the back of the room when they speak up. Many are bright young men and women who see what they do as a job. Not nearly as many are airheads or junkies work in the industry as we like to stereotype, at least, no more than work in your traditional office setting. Rehumanize them, get them talking about their experiences, and you might just bring viewers back to the real world. After all, Leonard Nimoy is more than just Spock, so why not let Donna Delore be more than just a smut queen?

photo: goldberg /flickr 

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Comments

  1. Chopperpapa says:

    Interesting…..For someone so critical regarding people who pretend to think they know porn inside and out, you sure have alot to say on the matter.

  2. wet_suit_one says:

    Well said there Michael. Well said indeed.

  3. David May says:

    Preach it!

  4. Can somebody explain the difference between porn and football?

    Seriously if we take away all the over-the-top morality and perverse taboos porn merely depicts folk engaging in a very common physical activity.

  5. Of course the moderation crap strikes again. This is a fucking joke.

    What the hell is wrong with what I just posted guys? I’ve wasted days of my time because of this bullshit. I should send an invoice for the couple of thousand dollars I could have made if I hadn’t wasted the time fruitlessly believing I’m welcome in this place.

    Moderator’s Note-I am not seeing any stuck in moderation currently, and each night there are nearly always 10 or 20 general pieces in queue. Also there is usually no one moderating at night when you are posting (time zones). I would suggest, though it would take time, doing screen caps and sending to Lisa as I know you and she have been in communication regarding this issue.

  6. wellokaythen says:

    Porn is disgusting and atrocious and should not be tolerated. But erotica is totally okay with me. In fact, it’s quite healthy. That’s why I only look at erotica, never at porn…. ; – )

  7. What is the difference? I only ask this because when I googled ‘Erotica for Women’ (trying to get some ideas to ‘spice things up’) I saw alot of the same stuff you see on the male ‘Porn’ sites. In fact, some oe it exactly the same. So, is it ‘Erotica’ on one site and ‘Porn on another?

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