This is a comment by wellokaythen on the post “Why I Don’t Believe in the Domme Deficit“.
“By the same logic, the popularity of the NBA with men proves that men are naturally about 6’8″.”
Loved that sentence. Excellent point.
As for sub men being the butt of jokes, I’d say that’s pretty true, but the image of them as weak men is kind of nonsensical.
My stereotype about sexually submissive men is very different. I tend to assume that sub men are in the rest of their lives very dominant, powerful, and commanding in their interactions with others. I always thought that sub roles disproportionately appealed to high-achieving men with a lot of power, and that the sub role in sex was sort of a contrast or compensation or flipside or paradox, not necessarily a reflection of “how weak they really are.” I associate being a sub man with being a powerful politician or hotshot executive or commanding officer or other “alpha” type.
In a way, it’s not really a paradox, because in a lot of ways the submissive partner is actually the one with more control than the dominant one, from what I understand in the experienced BDSM community. Being submissive is not the same thing as being controlled by someone else. In some ways it’s the opposite.
Photo credit: Flickr / Victor1558