This is a comment by wellokaythen on the post “Why I Don’t Believe in the Domme Deficit“.
“By the same logic, the popularity of the NBA with men proves that men are naturally about 6’8″.”
Loved that sentence. Excellent point.
As for sub men being the butt of jokes, I’d say that’s pretty true, but the image of them as weak men is kind of nonsensical.
My stereotype about sexually submissive men is very different. I tend to assume that sub men are in the rest of their lives very dominant, powerful, and commanding in their interactions with others. I always thought that sub roles disproportionately appealed to high-achieving men with a lot of power, and that the sub role in sex was sort of a contrast or compensation or flipside or paradox, not necessarily a reflection of “how weak they really are.” I associate being a sub man with being a powerful politician or hotshot executive or commanding officer or other “alpha” type.
In a way, it’s not really a paradox, because in a lot of ways the submissive partner is actually the one with more control than the dominant one, from what I understand in the experienced BDSM community. Being submissive is not the same thing as being controlled by someone else. In some ways it’s the opposite.
Photo credit: Flickr / Victor1558























I always thought that sub roles disproportionately appealed to high-achieving men with a lot of power, and that the sub role in sex was sort of a contrast or compensation or flipside or paradox, not necessarily a reflection of “how weak they really are.”
Could it also be a matter of being a sub as a way to relieve the stress of that high-acheiving life?
That’s what I usually thought about most sub people (not just men). That their lives were so stressful that being a sub was a way to just let go of all that stress in the form of being told what to do and being controlled by someone else.
That’s one reason I sub, at least. I’m hardly a high-powered corporate lawyer, but even my less stressful life wears on me, and it’s nice to have a break.
That’s bs, submissive men aren’t submissive because they have a lot of power, you really think the hundreds of kings who rode entire fcking armies into battle hundreds of years ago were secretly lusting to worship the a** and feet of a dominatrix? Bullshit, they were dominant if not straight out sadists, they were testoterone pumped fighting machines. Modern day corporate managers and bankers are submissive because they’re weak balding nerds not because they have “power”! Submissive men are submissive because they’re weak. I have absolutely zero power and i’m still masochistic and love humiliation because i’m a weak skinny 17yo boy.
….Ohhhhh..oh.. never mind! I just clicked on the other article called “Why I Don’t Believe In The Domme Deficit” and realized this website is filled with post-modernist, post-structuralist pissants. HURR EVERYTHING IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT DURR THERE IS NO TRUTH AND SCIENCE IS EVIL HURR DURR! I hope you get run over by a truck, ASAP!
By the way, in chastity it makes it eeasir to walk away and go about your regularly scheduled events but as soon as a thought of Mistress Sabina, or looking through your blog happens, blam! The chastity cage gets tight and all of a sudden I’m left wanting more again!