This comment was by Kier in response to “Dad Uses 45 to Shoot Daughter’s Laptop over Facebook“
I can understand the visceral “Hell, yeah!” reaction to this guy’s video. It’s the same rush of vicarious joy I get when watching Bruce Willis blow away the bad guys in Die Hard or Kiefer Sutherland squeeze the world-saving information out of the terrorists on 24. That’s a normal, human, reaction to someone actively and expressly dealing with a frustration or fear that we can all relate to in one way or another.
But just because it’s “normal” doesn’t mean it’s healthy or helpful.
Let’s reframe the situation a little to remove some of the unimportant details that people are getting caught up in (namely, who’s paid for what and the gun).
Imagine the daughter is out with some friends, perhaps going to a movie, and her cell phone pocket-dials dad. Thinking it’s his daughter calling, dad, of course, answers, but all he hears in the conversation that’s going on between his daughter and her friends.
“Damn, I wish my parents weren’t such slave-drivers. They make me do everything around the house. I hate them,” the daughter says (a close-enough paraphrase of what was said in the original posting). Standard teenager whining and complaining about parents. We’ve all done it. Especially when we think our parents can’t hear it.
Well, dad hears all of this, hops in his truck, and drives down to the movie theater. By the time he gets there, the film has already started. He goes into the theater, finds his daughter in the crowd and proceeds to drag her up in front of the big screen where he then announces to all present: “Look at this ungrateful little idiot. Don’t you think she needs to be taught a lesson?” And then takes her phone out of her pocket, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. “Now I’m taking her home and she’ll be grounded for months.”
How would you feel if you saw this play out in front of you?
Chances are, it would be a bit different that you feel watching this video. I know I’d feel different. I’d be much more concerned than a lot of people seem to be.
But, really, this video isn’t any different.
More importantly, dad here did *almost exactly the same thing* that his daughter did: made a semi-private post that unexpectedly found a larger audience.
Neither of them fully thought through the ultimate consequences–or even the *potential* consequences–of their actions.
The daughter thought she was just complaining to friends. I’m relatively certain she wouldn’t have said any of those things directly to her parents (the “why” of that is another discussion all together).
The dad thought he was just posting a video to his daughter’s friends and family, calling her out for her ungratefulness. (The usefulness of public shame in this situation is another discussion all together.)
Both of them found a much wider audience than they expected. The dad much more so because of his utterly wild actions. Actions that, anyone with half a clue about how YouTube works would know will get you a few hundred thousand views at least. (If he’d just used Facebook’s video option, he would have had direct control over the audience. But he didn’t because he didn’t like the interface and found YouTube easier.)
Your cell phone example isn’t quite accurate, and is a lot of the reason I agree with a good bit of his reaction. I don’t think he should have posted a video of himself violently destroying a perfectly good laptop, obviously, but she definitely should not have unmonitored internet access or a computer of her own if she’s gonna use it to publicly villainize her own family over trivial issues like sweeping floors. Facebook is public. Everything you post on Facebook is public and as good as permanent and anyone who cares to put a minimal amount of effort in… Read more »