“I feel lucky because as a gay man there aren’t automatic gender roles expectations for me and my husband.”

Jay talks about his relationship with his husband and why we need a similar allowance and fluidity in gender expectations in relationships for all people. 

This is a comment by Jay Edgar on the post “The Manliest Man I Know Is Also The Girliest“.

Jay Edgar said:

Well done, Alyssa. I congratulate you on escaping as far as you have from the gender stereotypes. I consider myself lucky in one regard as a gay man–there is no automatic mold I drop into when I put my life together with my husband. There was no assumption one of us would do the laundry and one of us would take out the trash. He does most of the laundry (I’m lazy about that) and leads in cooking, although I’m a good sous chef. He cooks without a recipe, where I’m pretty good with one.

He’s also physically stronger than I am. We have insecurities about different things (thank goodness), and take turns leaning on each other. There are times I feel like a mess and he bolsters me; there are times he thinks he’s a mess and I lift him up.

I’ve always felt sad seeing people I love in m/f relationships who appear to be conforming to their assigned gender role instead of who they really are. I’m hoping your article indicates this will be happening less and less often.

Thanks for a great article!

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Photo credit: Flickr / CarbonNYC

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