This post was from Jennifer J. on the post “Men, Women, and the enduring Fallacy of Fairy Tale Weddings.”

My husband and I got married in 1993, in what was probably an averagely expensive celebration for our demographic at the time. We had a nice candlelit ceremony at a church with a country-club reception for 125 guests, and we were pretty happy with the way things went.

Still, after we’d been married a few years, I started having some regrets about some of our choices. I wished I’d chosen a less trendy dress. I wished we’d had a longer cocktail hour, and chosen a better photographer. I thought of a few key people we accidentally left of the guest list.

I never got to the point of actually planning a second wedding, and after a while I stopped worrying about what I would do differently. I had chosen the right groom, and I decided that that was the important thing. I think my retroactive dissatisfaction with the wedding was based on a sense that my youth was slipping away, and on some minor frustrations in the marriage. Fantasizing about a second, better event was a way to escape from the reality of daily life.

My husband and I have now been married almost nineteen years, and we’ve decided to renew our vows at our 25th wedding anniversary. It won’t be a huge blowout, but it will be a chance to gather those we love, including our two daughters, for a celebration of something wonderful that we’ve created together. A wedding is all about hope and potential, but there is something to be said for recognizing an enduring marriage that continues to provide joy, friendship, and pleasure.

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photo by derekmswanson / flickr