This is a comment by Carla Smith on the post “Why Our Boys Need The Good Men Project“.
I don’t have sons but I had a father and a husband, I have a brother, male friends and a male relationship. I have three grown daughters who are and will be tremendously influenced by the men in their lives. As a woman I have tremendous respect for what Tom is doing. I’ve learned so much by following and being privy to the honest discourse. Not only is the writing illuminating but the comments/discussion afterward is, for the most part, inspiring.
I think, however, that there is a misconstrued concept that as women, because we tend to talk and share more, that we have things a little more figured out. What I suspect however, is that there is as much need among women for a real communication venue like GMP because we are so good at hiding behind as many veils as men.
We share, more often than not, what we feel will be peer supported and/or applauded. We keep silent about our career vs. stay at home Mom choices in life, despite how strongly we may be conflicted. We dance around the topic of intimacy and if often takes us decades and struggle and painful choices to finally embrace our own need and love of deep and fun physical intimacy. In doing so we rob ourselves of an opportunity to not only connect with each other but to connect better with the boys and men in our lives.
You see, what I suspect is that we would find that while there are obvious gender differences, there would be way more similarities. Shedding the specifics (which are indeed often mysterious, amusing and even delightful) we would discover the core of the connection we crave as human beings. It’s why I find, as one reader said once before, GMP is a sacred place.
Photo credit: Flickr / Dave_B_