“I used to be convinced that ‘real men’ should only want sex and hate cuddling, kissing, and talking about love.”

Men, there are a lot of things that society tells you that you should want. Do you want those things? Or do you want something more, something different?

These are comments by John and David on the post “What Men Really Want“.

John said:

I’m a man and what I want is emotional intimacy with someone I love and love me. And I realized this only after I reached 21. Before I was convinced that men, “REAL MEN” should only want sex, that we hate cuddling, kissing, and talking about love. Because its what we are, ” biologically” . Its not weird after I have realized what I really want, I have no difficulties understanding women, because I realized we are not different at all.

David said:

What I appreciate about this example is that it demonstrates how what many people consider to be “normal” male behavior (“Men are wired to need a lot of sex”) is not necessarily “just how men are.” Instead of accepting men’s sexual behaviors at face value, this example shows that there is a larger problem that often goes unacknowledged, let alone addressed. This problem runs deeper than just being disconnected from our feelings, needs, and wants – it is how male conditioning keeps us isolated and disconnected from other people, and how many men only experience intimacy through sex. As such, intimacy and meaningful connection becomes all-or-nothing, with little in-between (including non-sexual intimacy with other men).

Like this Comment of the Day? Here are more.

Want to nominate a comment of the day? Email the comment and the post it was on to deanna.m.ogle@gmail.com.

Photo credit: Flickr / jonasaraujofotograf

About the Editors

We're all in this together.


  1. wellokaythen says:

    Amen, brothers. To my mind, a “real man” says what he wants and enjoys in relationships (and in life in general), and he doesn’t put much stock into what “real men” are supposed to do. If you’re trying to prove to the world that you’re a real man, then you’re not a real man. (I know, it’s a paradox. Who cares?)

Speak Your Mind