This is a comment by Steph and NaHa on the post “The Fourth Meditation On Blind Spots”.
Ozyfrantz originally wrote:
“I mean, both of those lists kind of suck, for a whole host of reasons. However! ‘She’s just friends with me because I’m confident and have a good sense of humor’ is actually pretty flattering. ‘He’s just friends with me because I have nice boobs and am a size two and might be able to have sex with him’ is … not. At all.”
Steph said:
“I actually think that this is a really accurate reading of things, and likely says a lot about how we think about rejection as well. ‘She rejected me because I’m thinks I’m a loser with a horrible personality’ sounds a lot more damning than ‘He rejected me because of my cup size.’ The first of those says that you got rejected because you’re a horrid person. The second of those says that you got rejected because the person who rejected you was shallow. I think that this could explain a lot about the ways in which men and women tend to react to rejection, as well as the whole ‘sex is an achievement for men, but women just have to show up’ sort of thinking … ”
NaHa responded:
“Thank you, you just explained one of my blind spots to me. I’ve always wondered why rejection never seems to trigger the same essential self doubt in my female friends (many of whom ask men out, at least occasionally) it does in me and most of my male friends.
“But, as you say, it makes perfect sense: in the Cultural Narrative For Girls rejection just means you don’t pass that guy’s shallow ‘hotness test.’ It’s obviously never a judgment of your real worth as a person or your character. Because men are Sex Crazed Animals who just care about tits and ass, and not about personality and character.
“God, societies gender roles are so toxic all around.”
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I completely agree that men suffer more rejection than women by virtue of being the ones that typically do the asking, and for that I am truly sorry. Being rejected is shitty. But I want to dispel the idea that attractive women are “set”. I have many attractive female friends who have not been asked out in YEARS. These are beautiful women with rich social lives and great careers, and they are NEVER asked out. This is confirmed over and over again by my friends. One of my friends who is on an online dating site recently told me that a guy she met online told her he never would have approached her in “real life.” I suppose if you’re going to risk rejection, better to do it online than in person… Doesn’t bode well for those who can’t stomach online dating.
One of my friends who is on an online dating site recently told me that a guy she met online told her he never would have approached her in “real life.”
JUST got told this by a guy I met online.
That’s because there are a hell of a lot of guys who are shy these days I guess. I myself find it easier to approach women online but even still it’s nerve-racking. The more beautiful they are, the worse it gets too though that’s partly my history with bullying at play and the popular pretty types being bullies. Beautiful women can be very intimidating, it’s weird, but I wonder how much is based off high-school bullying? It seems fairly common that even women tell me many women in high-school that were bullies were the pretty popular type.
That fear probably continues on for many years, I’ve only been able to recently help calm it down as I have known a few models and other very gorgeous women that happened to be very nice people too and thus have helped a lot in breaking down my fears where I correlated looks with negative traits, thinking pretty girls were bitches when really they vary hugely in personality like everyone else.
@Archy: I have to disagree with you that body image problems affect everyone. The comment while true in some a ways is deceptive in others. Body image problems problems affects those who have bought into the lie about the Nordic white woman( think Barbi) by and large, is the epitome of beauty. Yes, some black women and some Latina and Asian women have bought into that nonsense too.
However, the problem for those communities, because of race, is colored differently than what a white woman experiences.Their body image issues are complicated by the demands of assimilation. Archy think of aborigines and the deep psychological burdens they face trying to fit into white culture.
For these groups, they don’t and can’t fit in because even of they do have the same body type they can’t ever really look like white people. These people are said to experience identity issues which is why many were critical of Micheal Jackson.
That there are black women and latinas with body image issues is a mystery to their men who, FOR THE MOST PART, PREFER WOMEN WITH BIG BOOTIES, HIPS,AND THIGHS. BLACK MEN LIKE THEIR WOMEN THICK. This has always been the case for as long as I have been a man of color. My 6 sisters are like this, my mother was like this and most of the black women and latina women I have known are like this.These women know this because black-men and Latin men are not shy about expressing this preference at all One can see this plainly expressed in both cultures. I have dated white, black, Chinese, Japanese, Latinas, Filipinos and women of some other cultures. Of those groups, white women far and away had the most persistent problems and insecurities with body image and overall. Among that group there is also the expectation that their problem should be empathized and cared for by everyone.I have body image issues. If i stop working out I can get frightfully skinny, 5’10” 140 pounds skinny, which women don’t hesitate to comment on, and my self esteem plummets.
I don’t have an expectation that anyone should give me or that I am entitled too special consideration by anyone. It is up to me to get off my butt, depressed or not, and change my body to something I want.
I meant people of all races/groups, shouldn’t have said everyone as in all 6 billion of us.
This seems relevant to the conversation, make of it what you will. I met a woman,our paths crossed in the nieghborhood and we hit it off immediatly.She was walking her dog and had on no make up and was dressed simply. We had a great concersation that ended with me asking her out for coffee.She was beaming. She said it was nice of me to ask and she gave me a big hug and we said goodbye. I called her and she said call back tomorrow.I did and she said call back later.I asked her call me instead. She called and said this, ” I’m too tired from socializing all day to see you, call me later.” I won’t.
She may have been too tired, I’d say give it another shot. Some people are pretty abrupt like that.
She may have been tired or something might have happened. I had a similar experience the day my grandfather died. I didn’t want to tell that to a stranger and I tried my hardest to listen to him talk, but my head was elsewhere. I just wanted to hang up the phone and break down as soon as possible.
@ Archy and Aya: Archy i’m surprised at your position on this though I am not surprised at all in Aya’s. Here is why. On at least 4 separate interactions with this female I have initiated contact or attempted to move things forward, following her lead and encouragements.
1) Based upon our connection I asked her for her phone number
2) I asked her out for coffee, which she said pleased her.
3) After calling her, as she asked, she asked me to call again.
4) I called again and guess what she put me off and asked me to call her again. Yet all of the empathy from both of you sought to provide her with shield against my frustration. This was exemplified in the maybe she was tired defense, as if I, by asking her out, I was now intruding into her busy life.
Well, to that I a say, she didn’t have to have coffee with me on that day or the next. However, she should have had enough empathy, sensitivity and simple common courtesy to know that I had gone out of my way to connect with her, doing everything she asked, taking all of the risk of rejection off of her. She on four occasions had opportunities to make me feel like my efforts were appreciated and that she was interested by saying, “I’m busy now but let me get my calendar out and schedule something with you.” I saw her yesterday, walking her dog. She wanted me to stop and talk but I was polite said hi and moved on.
Her behavior I dealt with more often than not when trying to initiate relationships and it comes from women having too much control, privilege and little accountability in these matters.
Og, from what I read in the first comment it was only 1 instance of brushing off, which to me means it could just be a life getting in the way (illness, tiredness, etc). If it’s a pattern then I wouldn’t suggest giving another chance, or maybe ask her what it going on? I didn’t know it happened more than once.
This seems relevant to the conversation, make of it what you will. I met a woman,our paths crossed in the nieghborhood and we hit it off immediatly.She was walking her dog and had on no make up and was dressed simply. We had a great conversation that ended with me ( breaking a rule) asking her out for coffee.She was beaming. She said it was nice of me to ask and she gave me a big hug and we said goodbye. I called her and she said call back tomorrow.I did and she said call back later.I asked her call me instead. She called and said this, ” I’m too tired from socializing all day to see you, call me later.” I won’t.
There is a great deal of comments — mostly by women — that discounts the importance of the approach. I think we can all agree that both men and women have probably equal difficulty while dating. With that said, men have far more challenges with regard to initiating dating. I like to compare this to a game. We’re playing Monopoly, and I am stuck on Go. I can’t get off go. Sure, we may have the same difficulty after we make the turn, but the very fact that women can roll the dice and proceed forward is a HUGE advantage. It doesn’t matter that we both face the same difficulty at New York Ave. if I am completely unable to pass Go. It’s like comparing two different degrees of problems. Men are starving third worlders and women are people living in industrialized nations turning their noses up at hotdogs and beans and saying the two problems are the same. They aren’t.
It’s like comparing two different degrees of problems. Men are starving third worlders and women are people living in industrialized nations turning their noses up at hotdogs and beans and saying the two problems are the same. They aren’t.
Yes, yes, and a thousand times yes!
Yay for comparing human human beings to food again. I’d just love to enjoy an intimate, supposed to be wonderful moment with someone who sees me and hot dogs and beans or moldy bread. Huge privilege there. -_-
You at least have the option of being passive and not having to worry about starving to death.
“not having to worry about starving to death.”
True, because women may have options that are barely edible and borderline poisonous even if men don’t. This is the metaphor of food for sexual privilege? The increased opportunity to choke down something? Hardly a great one.
(I get the sense that this is how many women would respond to the idea that they have an easier time dating than men do.)
To be fair, on one hand, I do get it, that there is *some* privilege (although men have privilege in other arenas–slut-shaming, for example). I want sex every day. I’m often tempted by craigslist ads for casual encounters–just to get it out of my system a little or to fulfill a fantasy (for example, a massage therapist who goes too far or a threesome with a married woman). Yet, the risks often seem to outweigh the benefits. And I hate feeling like crap afterwards or risking a good man turning me down for a true relationship because I’ve had too much sex.
Many privileges have risks n negatives, doesn’t negate the privilege since it’s still a chance at something the other gender has a much harder time getting.
@Aya: It seems clear to me that of you are currently having sex outside of your presumably primary intimate relationship this proves my point and I think is consistent with what many men have been saying. Which is that women can and do get aroused sufficiently to have great sex
without the so called libido driving effects of connection.
What I and many men are saying is that we would prefer to be the surrogate lover rather than the boyfriend for whom the burden of connection in exchange for a sex life rests.
In fact, your arrangement proves that women have and use the ability to separate and rationalize connection sex from intimate “special”sex are perfectly comfortable and capable of having sex without connection. Sure one could argue that there is some connection to these other surrogate sex partners.But one also must acknowledge that this distinction is different and not as special as the preferred model of sexual engagement. I personally find the distinction is nothing more that a mechanism that allows many women to indulge themselves without compromising their values around the real reason women have sex,which supposedly is for connection. It is just another convoluted method of having one’s cake and eating it too.
Here’s the thing, ogwriter. While I can separate, I LOVE the “burden” of connection. I love being in love. When I have a partner, I love cooking for him, getting him gifts, making him feel loved, making him feel special, holding him, building a life together. It’s a blessing far more than it is a burden. And it’s sad that men don’t seem to want that. I also want sex as often as it’s available, but it’s so much better when there’s a connection.
@ Aya: You miss my point. The burden I speak of is the idea that the primary male partner has to do more, invest more into her self esteem help with her insecurities, do things for her to get his woman to have consistent sex with him.The surrogate doesn’t have to do that. You say that the sex with the primary, when there is love, is better but that is just a preference not a hard and fast rule.Many men see this and are choosing to be the surrogate not the husband or the boyfriend and it makes sense to me.
Some of the best sex I have ever had was when I wasn’t married and wasn’t monogamous. Think about it; even though you downplay the importance of sex in some ways putting love first, but in your life, if sex wasn’t so important why have sex with anyone other than your primary intimate partner.
Seems to me to be another complex web of female contradictions that are designed to shield women from their baser selves and instincts around lust and desire( and other things as well), which she still can’t face out in the open.
This contradiction,which many women seem to have no problem with balancing, is why so many men have so little trust and belief in what women say about sex and any number of issues. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It is illogical for this man and most others in this climate to pursue monogamy. It is pretty confusing to claim that sex is better when there is connection but sex ain’t so bad with the other guy that one won’t have it with the other guy when there is no love. This splitting of sexual hairs to the limit. You are simply, erecting a multitude of moral of firewalls that allow you have your cake and eat it too without having to suffer any of the moral consequences or backlash. For me, I would not trust a woman to be monogamous with similar kinds of values as these. Conversely, i could love a woman who said that she liked having multiple sexual partners but loved me anyway and who acted the part.
Ms. AYA – You really don’t think that guys do not want to cuddle with YOU, buy YOU gifts (hoping that they might please you), cook for YOU, give YOU foot massages and make YOU feel loved? From my end, you would probably walk right by guys like us and keep your nose high in the air. Is that what happens?
“And it’s sad that men don’t seem to want that.”
The more some of the female writers here comment, the more I realize they haven’t got a clue about men. To seriously think men don’t want or value that, you didn’t say some, most, or define how many men, you just said men. Do you even know men at all? Even a teensy tiny bit? Even I have said I love making my partner feel special, etc. So do you think men just do that stuff all for sex or something?
Seriously ladies are there any of you out there commenting who actually understands men? Aya, do you just date the wrong kind of men, or is it a cultural thing where you are that these men don’t value making women feel special? I am seriously flabbergasted as to how you think that unless you made a typo n forgot to qualify that thought? Do you believe your partners don’t enjoy making you feel good?
I have a friend who called me from a remote mine site to help him order flowers for a woman he was dating (and has now married n started a family with), he spent quite a bit of cash because she was very upset about something difficult in life and wanted to cheer her up since he couldn’t be there due to the style of job being a few weeks on site, then you fly home for a week.
He’s a very very manly man but has a heart of gold, romance n warmth, I heard in his voice how much he wanted to make her feel special and he told me the kinda flower he liked and I helped him get in touch with a florist nearby (as where he was there are no florists, just a few hundred men, maybe a few women, an island mine). He wanted it to be perfect and a surprise, he chose her favourite flower to send to her (and it wasn’t cheap) because that’s all he could really do until the workcycle was over. I’m certain he felt shit that he was onsite and not there with her but he had to keep earning to keep the job (those jobs are high paying but hard to get).
@Aya: Just the fact that you have considered acting out your fantasy, which I’m not judging, is yet more proof that women don’t need but rather prefer connection for arousal to some men. I have been the fantasy massage therapist and I know the power of fantasy can trump even love and connection. I’m sure from a practical perspective, the fantasy sex was in many ways better than the connected sexual experiences, otherwise, why have fantasy sex. Frankly, what you are talking about are romantic notions about love, not reality. The reality is you can get pretty hot and aroused knowing that you are going to be seeing one of your lovers and love has nothing to do with it.
“I’m often tempted by craigslist ads for casual encounters–just to get it out of my system a little or to fulfill a fantasy (for example, a massage therapist who goes too far or a threesome with a married woman). Yet, the risks often seem to outweigh the benefits. And I hate feeling like crap afterwards or risking a good man turning me down for a true relationship because I’ve had too much sex. ”
First world problems.
Just saying.
“Yay for comparing human human beings to food again. I’d just love to enjoy an intimate, supposed to be wonderful moment with someone who sees me and hot dogs and beans or moldy bread. Huge privilege there. -_-”
If that is how YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT then that is your problem. Or you could join the rest of humanity in seeing it as what it is, sex, which can be anything you want it to be. It can be a special moment between strangers, it can be a fun activity to do together without the need to be mindboggling special. I think part of the problem is making the act out to be so damn special that it puts this hugee amount of expectation on it that I quite frankly think is just as harmful as expectations born out of porn. Sex is sex, it can be special but it doesn’t NEED to be. It’s a fun activity, it’s often great but people need to be a bit realistic about it.
Maybe sex to men is far more special than women realize and that even casual sex is special to them, it can be fulfilling if you don’t have this major hard-on for ONLY having a long-term relationship that absolutely must lead on to marriage and a lifelong bond. Not everyone wants to dive straight in to a long-term relationship, not everyone is trusting enough or comfortable enough with an LTR. You may not personally think it’s a good privilege, benefit, or whatever, but it’s still a benefit/privilege that men are largely without. Remember that men often pay for the ability to have sex, and for some men the only way they can get ANY form of intimacy is to pay money for it whereas women can find ANY form of intimacy in the form of casual sex easier.
Imagine the frustration of hearing women complain that they get so many messages on dating sites that they have to ignore some, then try to act like they aren’t privileged in at least one aspect of dating whilst men usually get Z E R O contact. We realize you may not want casual sex but please understand that to the men it’s better than nothing, many of us would rather some form of intimacy vs none. I have privilege in access to all military roles however I don’t want it, doesn’t mean the privilege isn’t there. Remember that many of the guys here are probably sex starved, intimacy starved, and hearing women dismiss their ability to get any form of intimacy easier than men probably can is pretty annoying, you personally may not want it but there are plenty of women who do engage that privilege and enjoy it.
I myself have had about 3-5 sexual encounters with 1 person in my entire life, I am late 20′s and only kissed one girl, can you compare to that? I’m seeing women talk about how they get all this attention, they get people giving them attention, asking them out, knowing they can get some form of intimacy and then try to dismiss the privilege of that. Try imagine life as someone who doesn’t EVER EVER have the opposite sex (or whoever you’re attracted to) approach you, ask you out, initiate, knowing that the only way you will get any intimacy is to pay for it or hope that you don’t get rejected when asking people out (which for shy men is incredibly difficult). Yes there are negatives to being approached such as unwanted harassment but there are still positives, you can take a more passive role in life and still get attention at a much much higher rate than men can. How is it not a privilege?
Can you understand MY frustration at hearing women dismiss this stuff? A bit of acknowledgement will go a long way, and I do acknowledge there are negatives but you still have OPTIONS that men are largely unable to have.
Imagine the frustration of hearing women complain that they get so many messages on dating sites that they have to ignore some, then try to act like they aren’t privileged in at least one aspect of dating whilst men usually get Z E R O contact. We realize you may not want casual sex but please understand that to the men it’s better than nothing, many of us would rather some form of intimacy vs none. I have privilege in access to all military roles however I don’t want it, doesn’t mean the privilege isn’t there. Remember that many of the guys here are probably sex starved, intimacy starved, and hearing women dismiss their ability to get any form of intimacy easier than men probably can is pretty annoying, you personally may not want it but there are plenty of women who do engage that privilege and enjoy it.
I myself have had about 3-5 sexual encounters with 1 person in my entire life, I am late 20′s and only kissed one girl, can you compare to that? I’m seeing women talk about how they get all this attention, they get people giving them attention, asking them out, knowing they can get some form of intimacy and then try to dismiss the privilege of that. Try imagine life as someone who doesn’t EVER EVER have the opposite sex (or whoever you’re attracted to) approach you, ask you out, initiate, knowing that the only way you will get any intimacy is to pay for it or hope that you don’t get rejected when asking people out (which for shy men is incredibly difficult). Yes there are negatives to being approached such as unwanted harassment but there are still positives, you can take a more passive role in life and still get attention at a much much higher rate than men can. How is it not a privilege?
Could not have said it better myself..
Even those female commenters who claim that it’s not a good thing and that the sex/relationships they’ve had have not been “deep” enough or meaningful have had way more sexual and relationship opportunities than many men could dare to dream of having.
It’s the casual dismissal of this disparity that irritates so many male commenters here.
Yup, better to have loved n lost…
@Leia: For the most part, I’m with you in that men need and should do something different to change the dating dynamic. What that change should look like is where we are different in our perspectives. What you suggest is the short term answer. It restores some of a man’s power and leaves him less susceptible to the vagaries of dating power plays. The long-term, straightforward and simple solution is for women to ask men out and for men to DEMAND that they start doing so instead of just complaining about them not doing so.
The discussion of privilege generally backfires in my case. I don’t feel sympathy, I just feel fortunate.
I welcome anyone who says they have a harder time than I do, because I am happy to let you win that argument. If there’s a competition out there to see who has the worst life, I will gladly let someone else win every time. In the race to see who has the worst life, I hope to come in near the bottom. If you tell me I’m privileged, then I won’t deny it, whether it’s true or not. I will just thank my lucky stars and think, “it sure sucks to be you.”
Especially if someone points out my advantages without being envious of me. If my life is so great but you wouldn’t trade to be more like me, then how much better could my life really be?
Besides, adversity makes you stronger, right? My advantages make me less strong of a person, so it must suck to be a privileged person like me….
How most women ( like Erin and Aya ) turn this debate into casual sex and its not a privilege for them amaze me. Really, approaching for opposite sex its just about casual sex? You never think that so many men approaching women is not about sex at all, its about we want a partner, lover , girlfriend, and even wife? You said you don’t have privilege, but having a man, a potential partner, a potential lover, potential boyfriend, potential husband, asking you out is still privilege, and its not about sex at all. Its initial phase of relationship, whether it will turn into just meaningless boring not good gross casual sex ( like what women in this site tell about casual sex ) or it will turn into real loving relationship, its still the initial phase, meaning you have a start point. I tell you this, most men want relationship, its not about sex at all. Having no women asking us out is depressing, not because we cant get laid, it because we can get into relationship!!! How you cannot understand this and turn this debate into sex , sex, sex, sex ,sex, and sex again really amaze me.
John, If I don’t see casual sex as a privilege, then it’s not a privilege for me. I should have the agency to set those parameters for myself regardless of what you believe they should be. Just because you see it as privilege, doesn’t mean I have to agree with that. My experiences have taught me that casual sex is the furthest thing from “privilege”. There was nothing casual sex ever brought me that gave me an advantage over men. I actually think casual sex gives men more privilege than it actually does women. I even recounted a personal experience posts back that largely went unmentioned and ignored by the male members on this board. Why? My guess is that no one really cared about my personal experience about how casual sex wasn’t a privilege for me. I rather go back and have not had sex with that guy at all. There are lots of women with lots of those kind of stories.
Casual sex can be a privilege for you if that’s the way you see it. But don’t tell me it’s a privilege for me. It’s not.
Most men might relationships but most men don’t want relationships with most women and will easily push for, request or do other things to get sex as soon as possible. That’s not a “privilege” for me.
How many times i need to tell you that its not about casual sex at all and i dont give a damn thing about casual sex and i dont give a damn shit if you like casual sex or not!!! ITS NOT ABOUT SEX!!!
When i’m talking how you women have privileges is you have an advantage in initial relationship, when a man asking you out. It can be a meaningless boring casual sex that you dont like or it can turn to real relationship, thats why you having advantages….becasue you have chance at relationship, not casual sex.!
ITS ABOUT SEX DAMN IT, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!?
I’m single now after broke up with my gf last month, i dont want sex, i want girlfriend, i want love…!!!
sorry i mean ITS NOT ABOUT SEX!!!!!!!!!!!
And where i ever said casual sex is privilege for you?? I believe you dont like casual sex, but i dont care cause i think you have privilege is not about sex at all…
once again, ITS NOT ABOUT CASUAL SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many times i need to tell you that its not about casual sex at all and i don’t care about casual sex and i don’t care if you like casual sex or not!!! ITS NOT ABOUT SEX!!!
When i’m talking how you women have privilege is you have an advantage in initial relationship, when a man asking you out. It can be a meaningless boring casual sex that you dont like or it can turn to real relationship, thats why you having advantages….because you have chance at relationship, not casual sex.! I NEVER SAID WOMEN HAVE PRIVILEGE BECAUSE THEY CAN GET CASUAL SEX EASIER
I’m single now after broke up with my gf last month, i don’t want sex, i want girlfriend, i want love…!!!
Oh wait, men always prioritizing casual sex over love, respect, and relationship, i must be lying cause i’m a man
Well I assume many are using a similar model of privilege as male privilege, where things I don’t want are privileges such as my ability to get into all areas of the military vs a woman. You may not see it as a female privilege, but it’s a privilege that females can get and those that like it that use it are female.
Here’s the deal. I think men feel that beginning a relationship with a woman (if it’s tagged as possibly romantic or even possibly leading to sex) as riskier. They are usually, even these days, the ones coming forward, after all. And many women put a negative twist (even subtly) on men coming forward this way. There is often a little hint of shockability or punishment involved. (“How dare you?” even if not expressed.) The idea is that you shouldn’t have tried because you ultimately want to make me do “something dirty.” Even for women who are pretty nice, and who love sex, this is a possibility, if they don’t at that moment want the man who comes forward. My first wife said she hated the “no harm done” philosophy some men seemed to have. So men are supposed to be pretty nervous about trying. I asked a woman Reiki practitioner (I’m one as well) to have coffee with me, and she treated it as a sexual come-on, which it wasn’t, so some women have their defenses way out there.
Eric Berne referred to this specific game as “Rapo,” and the dysfunctional payoff was supposed to be that the man felt crestfallen, and the woman got to think, “You dirty little boy!” probably gratifying her inner mother. This is pretty strong, but I think it does operate at least some of the time.
I don’t agree it’s about punishment so much as women being fearful that they are going to be used for sex. I do agree that women do have their defenses way up which might make a woman respond with more negative zeal or think automatically the worse of something or someone in a given situation. But I don’t think it’s because women want to feel like men are dirty little boys that they get to punish so much as women don’t want to be used for sex in a culture that uses women 24/7 for sex. Keep in mind, sex is everywhere. Women are the gender much more marketed as the sex object. It’s easy to feel like you don’t have much control over your sexuality and it’s respected as a woman or not respected. In general, there really aren’t that many healthy and positive images of protraying female sexuality in a positive way. Which does put women on the defensive I think.
Probably so. It’s sad.
Well, maybe the tide has already changed and the old dynamics have worn away. Very few men are approaching women and women have to approach as a result, learning something about rejection.Maybe this will help women give men more value.I hope so.