This is a comment by Web on the post “Bisexual Men: 8/4“.
“Well between Bisexual men and women, it seems man actually draw the short end of the stick.
“A bisexual woman is considered to be open and curious about her sexuality, a both rare and desirable trait. Plus, people like seeing women with women. The vast majority of homophobia is directed towards male couples.
“For a guy, bisexuality is seen as undesirable in that men’s sexuality is already considered untrustworthy and gross. People also presume men have less fidelity, an idea that is expanded once the options are doubled.
“On top of that let’s not for get the slowly-disappearing double standard that women can have masculine traits and be hot, while men showing feminine traits are given the opposite treatment. The idea of a girl with another girl arouses people. The idea of a man with another man disgusts people.
“I actually did a couple questions on girls-ask-guys to see what the results were. Overall, nearly all the girls said they would flat out reject a guy if the found out he was bisexual.”
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“The idea of a man with another man disgusts people.”
I think this may actually be more a product of social pressure than actual preference. I have known a couple of women who liked seeing two men together in a fairly similar way to men who enjoy watching two women together; I just think it’s much less often mentioned – at least around men, possibly because of the diminishing but still very large portion of straight men whose reactions span the spectrum from disgust to violent rage if someone puts a reference to them within the three paragraphs of a positive mention of male homosexuality.
Incidentally I have only heard this enjoyment of seeing two men together from women who are themselves bisexual, so this may just be sampling bias.
I have two female friends who enjoy viewing man-on-man love, neither is bisexual, and both completely heterosexual. They do speak to your view aptly on social pressure though. One is as ‘straight-laced’ as they come, and she closets her enjoyment of it while the other is very much against the societal grain and she is very open about her enjoyment of it.
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Spending some time and actual effort to produce a good article?but what can I say?I put things off a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.
A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do think that you need to write more on this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but generally folks don’t talk about such issues. To the next! Best wishes!!
except it’s not? Bisexual men are viewed as “half-closeted gays” but bisexual women are viewed as “Open/Curious” because a cro-mag brain thinks “Hey, Threesome!” and they’re expected to settle down with a nice cis dude after they sort out their “youthful indiscretions”
Bi men and women are all denied on pretty fundamental levels, and saying “Congratulations, bi women, you’ve got it easier because you can satisfy a straight-dude sex fantasy!” is bullshit. If a bi woman steps one micron out the experimental teenage pornstar fabrication, she’s worthless.
I find actually two women together as hot, two guys doesent say anything to me. Not even disgust, just sexual emptyness, just like watching a commercial on dog food. Nothing.
But a funny thing is I learned through my years as a DJ (yes I work as a DJ as second occupation) is that female bisexuality or homosexual attitude (in the playfull fashion) is generally also positive accepted between women (depends of the contex). In some female only party I witnessed hetero women playfully touching and kissing other women. I never ever witnessed this in hetero male only groups.
Talking to some of my female friends about this topic, lot of them admit that the view of two women together is aesthetically more ‘harmonious’ than two men. But its not a turn on for them, [citation] because its only two women with a dildo. How can that be exciting? [end citation].
IMO the playfull intimacy between women get often misinterpreted by men in a sexual nature. So when women are showing affection toward each other, they do in a different way than men would normally do. And this difference usually ends in the homosexual/bisexual box = hot. Stereotypically women look for psysical contact, while men is more verbal (look at the behaviour of drunken women contra drunken men). So girls hugging and kissing each other they may showing non sexual affection. The occasional guy witnessing the “show” may get turn on thinking….lesbians (do you remember American Pie II? when Stifler was running in the house of the two girls, beliving they were lesbians?). I think gender culture play a big role in this, how mono sexual group may behave between each other, and how they behave in presence of the other gender. How men relate and how women relate and how women relate to men, and how men relate to women.
Different start points in the society, different gender culture and personal story, leads to a generally distinct interpretation of a ‘innocent’ event. Thus maybe contribute to the endless stream of misunderstanding in verbal and non verbal communication between the genders.
Anyways, this is getting to long. I understand I used some stereotypes but only for synthesise my point. And my point is nowhere definitive.
PS
sorry for my bad english.
ok I send the message to early. By a mistake I clicked on send button, before I could correct some spelling errors and add some punktualitations.
*I find actually two women together as hot, two guys doesent say anything to me. Not even disgust, just sexual emptyness, just like watching a commercial on dog food. Nothing.*
I realize that this sentence is a bit problematic, I dont equate gay sex with bestiality or dogs. I wanted to underline the lack of arousal that ‘show’ may give me making a parallel with one of the many commercial seen on tv. But the ‘dog food’ commercial is a bad choice of words. A better choice would have been a ‘car commercial’ or a Iphone commercial. Well that was what I wanted to say
peace.
In many countries, a lot of physical contact between men in a platonic context, as well as very close friendships, are commonplace. No one would dare call them “bromance”, or utter the words “no homo”, but they’ll hug and kiss on cheeks, and hold hands, and even sit in the other’s lap, with no problem, no sexual connotation…
And that’s ironically usually in countries that heavily repress homosexuality. Japan, Iran.
They need a touch more to count as homosexuality. They need explicitness.
As a male, I personally find female on female porn to be a turn off. I’m not prejudice against homo/bisexuals and I don’t have homophobia. I’m not going to flat out reject a woman if I find out she’s bisexual like many women would do to a man. I’m saying her sexual appeal to me takes a bit of a nose dive.