“It’s a woman’s job to make her man feel safe — a safe place that doesn’t expect him to do brave things just because he’s a man.”


This is a comment by Kat on the post “A Husband’s Job Is To Create Emotional Safety“.

Kat said:

As a woman, I’m just going to say, it is totally a woman’s job to make her man feel safe. Make him feel safe talking to her. A safe, non judgmental place where a man can make mistakes without feeling like he’s talking to someone’s mother. A safe place to express himself, without being made fun of for being who he is. And a safe place that doesn’t expect him to do brave things just cuz he’s a man. 

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Photo credit: Flickr / liquene


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  1. one of the best comment ever. You are one lovely woman Kat. Your man is so lucky

  2. FU*KIN-A!! I wish there were more women out there who felt the same :)

  3. Kirsten (in MT) says:

    Between this and the original article, it’s impressive how many busybodies feel it is their place to define all men’s roles or all women’s roles for them. What is “the man’s job” and what is “the woman’s job” in any relationship is up to the people in the relationship and nobody else. Everyone else is butting in where they have no right defining roles for the people ACTUALLY involved.

  4. Bay Area Guy says:

    Where can one find more women like Kat?

  5. wellokaythen says:

    No one’s job is to *make* someone else feel a certain way. You are NOT the person most responsible for getting other adults in your life to feel safe. You are not ultimately responsible for a woman’s or a man’s happiness. Ultimately a person feels safe or not from the inside out. The best you can do is to help someone feel that way and create a space that encourages that feeling, but you can’t make someone feel safe by yourself. The other person has to his/her part to meet you in the middle somewhere. Your partner is still an individual person, not a project, and he has feelings that may be entirely independent of whatever you do for him.

    Let’s avoid the pitfall of “if I was doing my job, my partner would feel ______.” That’s just the flipside of “I’m unhappy, so it’s all your fault!”

  6. Kat, Great job! Women have forgotten that men have feelings too!! Hello? We (women) need to ‘validate’ men’s feelings, and not judge and challenge everything they say. I’ll add, please stop with the pity/motherly-thing ladies it’s creepy.

    P.S. I don’t like the word ‘validate’, but you get the point.

    Thanks again!

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