“Life is short, and ‘Cause that’s just what you do!’ is about the worst reason to do anything.”

These are comments by Phil, Pursuit Ace, and Sabrina on the post “The Childfree Life“.

Phil said:

“I’m a 45 year old straight man, and decided at 19 I’d never get married or have kids. Unlike the author, I’ve never felt anything that remotely feels like regret. I have a dog and a pet snake. Sometimes to be funny I tell people, with a very straight face, ‘The dog is not a replacement for having a kid. It’s the snake the replaces having a kid.’ LOL”

Pursuit Ace said:

“I agree completely that too many people have children for little or no reason. It’s also an interesting development in our society that so many people really don’t like kids. Me on the other hand … kids are the greatest thing on the planet. So much better than adults. I’d have to find something else to live for without them.”

Sabrina said:

“Life is short, and ‘Cause that’s just what you do!’ is just about the worst reason to do anything. Looking back (and around, as I see people doing this all the time), I find it stunning that so many of us make these kinds of momentous life choices in such a mindless– as in, not mindful– manner. But we do, and it’s no wonder many of us are quietly miserable as a result. Some say it’s selfish to choose to go against the grain (not have kids, etc.), but I agree that it’s much worse to do things that don’t actually feel right, and then drag other people through your subsequent misery.

“Which is all a long way of saying, thanks for publishing this, and for having the courage to live the life that works for you, not just the one that makes sense to other people. Living your truth, and putting it in print, presents that possibility for others, which helps us all make better choices and live freer, better lives.” 

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Comments

  1. wellokaythen says:

    There are good reasons for having children and bad reasons for having children. There are also good reasons to be childfree and bad reasons to be childfree. The difference is that being childfree for the wrong reasons does no harm, while having kids for the wrong reasons could be disastrous all around.

    Boredom, or the impossibility of imagining anything else, is a really bad reason to bring a child into the world, in my opinion. Unfortunately, this reasoning (or lack of reasoning) still seems far too common.

    What I hope to see more of are people who accept their choices and take responsibility for the choices they make. For example, if you are a mother in America today, you have chosen to be one. You made dozens of choices that resulted in a child. You did not “get pregnant” or “wind up with a couple of kids.” A baby did not just “come into your life.” It was your choices that did it. The rewards and challenges of parenting are things you experience because of the choices you made. (If you miss work because of your kids, you’re missing work because of choices that you made.) Maybe looking back it didn’t seem like a choice, but it was a choice nonetheless.

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