This comment was by Tobias, on the post Same-Sex Marriage is Not Enough.
Tobias said:
I was born to straight parents, can coexist easily with straight people, and the vast majority of my day-to-day activities do not involve my sexuality at all. It influences how I am treated but *only* because of how I am perceived. As a result, I do not see the world as divided between “straight culture” and “queer culture” with me on the “queer culture” side, but instead identify more with my quiet Midwestern culture than I do with big city queers, or queer boxers, or queer filmmakers, or any number of other possible communities.
Marriage as a tradition does not belong to *them* – it belongs to an *us* that includes me. I will be married regardless of what the government or anyone else thinks because I am part of a culture in which marriage is a way of demonstrating love. The fight for it to be recognized legally is a fight for the rest of the country to catch up with me, not for me to take something that only they have.
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Would the editors ever consider publishing an editorial supporting the opposing view?
It’s a fair question. I know that this a left-wing site, but you have many readers and posters who are conservative and traditional. In that sense it is a very unusual site. Most left-wing sites would never attract people who have different views – and vice versa.
So you might take that as an encouragement to at least try to consider the other viewpoint. Not all good men are on the left, which I am sure you would agree with.
I doubt the editors of this site would ever consider such a thing. I was shocked to find out the publisher of the site is woman, the inverse of which would never, ever happen at a feminist site. I can say this much about this site, if you keep within the commenting guidelines they will post your comment, regardless of its political leanings, so long as it relates to the topic on which you are commenting which is why this comment might not ever see the light of day. If they do consider it I would like to volunteer as… Read more »
Hey courage and TimR —
I’m that mysterious woman publisher you speak of. We actually are starting an Op-Ed section, and hope to have editorials and opinion pieces that come at issues from multiple sides. I hope you can both submit posts — we will take well-reasoned arguments regardless of political leaning.
Thank you for being such engaged commenters.
Lisa
Now I am really confused. The publisher of the site is a feminist? All of the publishers? Or just one? Or are we allowed to ask those questions? That does help explain the choice of articles and subject matter, but it doesn’t explain the title of the site. I have seen a lot censorship here, which is sad. Altogether very discouraging. I saw the title – which is very appealing – and have posted here on and off but it was clear something wasn’t making sense. The left-wing perspective is overwhelming, while the posters who disagree don’t really fit in.… Read more »
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Ps – “For eons the collective consensus has been that the best vehicle for the propagation of the species has been one man married in committed confluence to one woman”. Really?? So harems, concubines, etc never existed? I think you’ll find there are many cultures/points in history in which a many women were used as breeding mares in order for a powerful man (king, shah, emperor, what have you) to spread HIS seed far and wide. Then there are the centuries in which marriage’s sole purpose was military/social alliances. Wartime rape has also resulted in population explosions. By “best” do… Read more »
What I mean is that children raised in a household by their biological(or what the child believes to be their biological) mother and father has proven to be the family unit that has produced the most economically, socially, emotionally, educationally and physically healthy children. Have other family units done this successfully? Yes, but not to the extent that the traditional basic family unit has. It is the expansion of the definition of marriage that I fear will lead to polygamy, harems and concubines. Those environments have proven to be failures in raising children.
Awesome. So any marriage between a hetero man and woman who are incapable of reproducing shouldn’t be elevated either. We should have different classes of marriage. THE ULTIMATE PINNACLE MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who have many babies, PROPER MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who have at least one or two babies, ACCEPTABLE MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who adopt babies, CIVIL UNIONS – straight men and women who have no children, homosexual men or lesbian women with adopted children, or homosexual men or lesbian women without children. All with descending amounts of rights and privileges. BOOM!… Read more »
“So any marriage between a hetero man and woman who are incapable of reproducing shouldn’t be elevated either. We should have different classes of marriage. THE ULTIMATE PINNACLE MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who have many babies, PROPER MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who have at least one or two babies, ACCEPTABLE MARRIAGE – straight man and woman who adopt babies, CIVIL UNIONS – straight men and women who have no children, homosexual men or lesbian women with adopted children, or homosexual men or lesbian women without children.” No I am not saying that at all. As a… Read more »
Why did my reply get deleted? Am I being censured?
I will try this again, but I suspect dissenting opinions are not aired on this cite, which is why I fear that if liberals do obtain power dissenting viewpoints will be stifled. We cannot establish a general policy that is nuanced to every particular situation. As a practical matter we have to have a general policy. Theoretically when one man and one woman marry their ability to procreate is unknown, but certainly in most situations they will be able to procreate. We know that two men and/or two women cannot procreate without the aid of a 3rd person. A person’s… Read more »
Look, this is not about you. This is about what the state decides to recognize as marriage. For eons the collective consensus has been that the best vehicle for the propagation of the species has been one man married in committed confluence to one woman. If you and your family want to have a ceremony declaring your commitment to your same sex lover and hold yourself out to the world as committed to one another and even be granted some of the privileges of marriage, such as the right to be at your lover’s bedside in times of ill health,… Read more »