This comment by John Anderson on the post The Patterns In Mass Shootings and a Conversation About Men
It was a very good post. I particularly liked that you made the distinction that it is societies perception of masculinity and the pressure to conform to that definition rather than masculinity itself, which is the problem. I would disagree slightly with one section. When it comes to sexual violence as it pertains to men victimizing women, I think we far to often overlook the virgin shaming of men. I think men (and women) need to feel that men can say no. I’m unsure if that was part of teaching consent and respect, but if it wasn’t (no worries I’m still learning stuff too), I don’t think that you can make significant headway in that area until society stops judging men for the number of women they’ve slept with.
Thanks for a well written and thoughtful article.
======
Question of the Day:
Are social pressures to become the “Man” society deems worthy creating better men, or simply destroying our ability to be accepted as ourselves and leading to disasters?
_____
See more posts in the Comment of the Day Section
Like The Good Men Project on Facebook
Photo: Jean-Francois /Flicker
Great question anyway. Great topic for a genuinely open discussion. Masculinity (in men) is NOT a problem in itself, anymore than feminity (in women) is a problem in itself. On the contrary actually. Even in homosexual relationships you can see that one is, or becomes dominant and masculine, and one is or becomes submissive and feminine. Now. Here is another good question: Is there one gender that is predisposed to masculinity, and one disposed towards femininity? If so, which is which? I think the answer is obvious, despite the ‘natural’ and artificial manipulation of gender roles and sexual identies from… Read more »
There is definitely a mental health aspect to violence and mass shootings. But there are also unrealistic and arbitrary expectations, social norms and unwillingness to come up with complex solutions to complex problems. We must have a multi level approach to deal with these issues. It must involve a rational approach to guns (yes regulation and controls and safety measures) as well as educations and serious restructuring and funding on both the mental health system and an information collection and sharing system that will catch people in distress before they explode and kill and provide them the help they need… Read more »