This was a comment by Assman, on a previous Comment of the Day: “You Can Redistribute Money but You Can’t Redistribute Looks.“
My view is that dating success if fundamentally proportional to the number of women you approach and talk to. The higher the number the better. Looks help but I know guys better looking than me who do a lot worse and conversely. Generally the guys who complain the most about being rejected by tonnes of women, being beta males and no girls wanting them are simply guys who don’t go after enough women.
And the guys I know who are most successful generally have a combination of a few attributes
1) they talk to tonnes of women of all shapes, sizes and looks
2) they are extremely friendly, very easy to talk to and very nice. When they talk to girls they are good listeners
3) they dress well, are well groomed and are generally physically attractive though not necessarily very good looking
4) they are RELENTLESS and very persistent
5) they can often dance well and are in good physical shape
6) They go out a lot, have a lot of friends, go clubbing, dancing frequently
None of them are very dominant in an alpha male sort of way but they are very social. Almost all the qualities that are possible to attain. I suggest the following:
1) Meet more people. Signup to meetups on meetup.com. Meetup has single groups, language groups, polyamory groups….tonnes of groups. You can meet plenty of people. Go to university clubs, associations. There are tonnes of events that go on everyday in a reasonably large city (I live near Toronto). Go online and find out about events, parties etc in your neighbourhood. Talk to people at work, at school and make friends. Get a social circle. It’s easier done than said. You just have to make an effort.
2) Exercise…weightlifting is probably best. HIIT is good too. Exercise is probably the most important suggestion because it will improve your mood. And for most guys who can’t meet women, their depressed mood is the biggest reason they have problems.
3) Signup to Eharmony. Be aggressive in getting dates…don’t waste too much time in online messaging.
4) Dress well. If you don’t know how get a girl to help, get a magazine like GQ or just watch people in the mall to see what fashions are current.
5) Ask girls out. Ask for their numbers. Tell them they are beautiful. They are cute. Show interest. Listen to them. Talk to them.
6) Learn Salsa. This is a double plus because you learn a skill and meet women who you can ask out. Later you can go to Salsa clubs and dance with women.
7) Find a guy who is good with women and see what he does
8) BE RELENTLESS. Most important thing. If you do this for anything in life you will succeed.