This comment was from Joan on the post “In Defense of Psycho Bitches from Hell“
I think guys get the wrong impression quite often. Kind gestures get misread all the time.
1.) I was at a gas station and a man and I started a conversation about business-stuff. He seemed interested in our conversation, so I handed him a business card. I was away from the phone all that day. When I got, home he left 4 messages on my machine…each one was increasingly personal. The last message sounded like he was in love with me…I called him back and was crystal-clear that it was strictly business and I even lied and told him I was gay. He never called again.
2.) Another story, I had contractor stop by for an estimate on my driveway and we talked about bricks and concrete…didn’t think any of it. The next evening, he stopped by with the written estimate and dropped off a bottle of wine. Then, on the third night, he stopped by, again but this time, in a shirt and tie and asked me out to dinner. And all I wanted was an estimate!!!
I have more of stories, but I won’t bore you. In all situations, I was not flirtatious or suggestive, just pleasant and kind. If you knew me, you find I’m kind and articulate, but I’m not flirty.
These are the weird things that women deal with and cause us to be guarded. Am I supposed to be rude and course with men? Or I should I start talking about Jesus and scare men off with Bible thumping? :)
Men, please weigh in on this.
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Joan…As a practical matter,even IF women get the message,it will take at least a generation for change to happen. And liberal leaning men are hapless white knights who block efforts at progress.
Joan…As a practical matter,even IF women get the message,it will take at least a generation for change to happen. And liberal leaning men are hapless white knights who block efforts at progress. I am looking elsewhere- at different cultures- for mating.
Change takes time, we didn’t create this overnight, but information moves a lot faster these days. I think you see clearly where the resistance is but that’s to be expected, simply human nature. These discussions are surfacing all over the place regarding gender issues…men (and women) need clarity and are frustrated, I suspect most men are ready for change or least in need of a modicum of respect. I’ll brainstorm…
Joan…one thing is true,according to the experts, about humans and change:1) they only do it if they have to.2) they only do it if there is an alternative.3)there must be a path to change. Men have got to force the hand and frankly I am in shock and awe at the utter ineptitude of men. It’s pretty damn sorry.
Those are excellent points to frame these issues. No worries, we’ve all been drinking the same Kool-Aid and we just accepted these things as reality.
Joan…A closed mouth don’t get fed.