“Most people have to break hearts and have broken hearts to find a relationship that lasts.”

This is a comment by Jimbo on the post “Let’s Assume I’m a Virgin”.

Jimbo said:

“HA. Man you young guys think you have it all figured out. 23 years old and you are just so mature you’ve grown out of the ‘stage’ where you want to have sex with every hot chick you see. I used to think I had it all figured out at 23 also. I didn’t. Back then even with all the problems I had attracting women (and with being a virgin) I had a couple of girls who liked me enough to either offer to make out with me or even give me a blowjob. I turned them down mostly due to the standards I had of ‘they weren’t pretty enough or were a little overweight.’ What a mistake.

“Now I’m 36 and married to a very caring and understanding wife, and I still want to have sex with every hot girl I see every time I see one. It doesn’t mean I love my wife an less, it just means that I still want to have sex with attractive women. In addition I think about those girls from college at least once a week not only am I filled with regret for not hooking up with them, but also for thinking they weren’t that attractive. Total and absolute failure on my part. Trust me, when you are in your 30’s you’ll look back on your 20’s and wonder why you were wasting your time doing what you are doing now, which is nothing.

“Don’t mistake not wanting to have sex with every hot girl you see as some proof of maturity, it’s not. I don’t know what it is. In fact I can respect your celibacy to an extent if it’s a religious choice. At least then I’d know it was your spiritual beliefs that you were staying a virgin for. However when I read the line that said ‘something to look forward to,’ it made me wonder if you had been talking to my mom, or were in fact my mom as that was her line to me as a kid. ‘Sex is something to look forward to on your wedding night.’ UGH. That’s was just horrible, awful, and wrong advice.

“Yes, something bad might happen. That’s how relationships work. People break up, feelings are hurt, and suddenly the person you felt closest to in the world no longer wants to see or speak to you. That’s just how it is. After a while you get over it, move on, and find someone else. There’s not just one person out there for everyone like some romantic fairy tale. The majority of people have to break hearts and have their hearts broken to find a relationship that can last.” 

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  1. “In fact I can respect your celibacy to an extent if it’s a religious choice. At least then I’d know it was your spiritual beliefs that you were staying a virgin for.”

    In response to this section, I’d simply like to point out that a person’s decision whether or not to have sex doesn’t need to be based on spirituality in order to be respected. I was a virgin until I was 21, not because there was a lack of opportunity, and not for any spiritual reason, but because I wanted to wait until I felt a connection with someone before having sex with them.

    I’m not big on random hookups (although I don’t look down on people who engage in them). For me, sex is more than simply physical. I’ve had sex with two women in my life, both of which I loved and had a deep connection. Others see it differently, and they’re entitled to their beliefs. We shouldn’t deride anyone, man or woman, for waiting until they’re ready to have sex, whatever their reasons may be.

  2. Alternate says:

    Yes, something bad might happen… but that does not mean that you should be reckless and go out living your life without a plan! Well, car accidents happen, even if you are careful, but that does not mean you could go driving drunk or over speeding!

    I’m annoyed with people that uses such rationalization as an excuse for not giving effort or avoiding things they should be doing. “You might still fail, so why put on effort?” And you seem to have taken this as your life motto. No wonder you’re in the slums.

    You also think that other people would think or experience things like you do. Wrong! One thing the world teach us is that we don’t think the same way. How could you miss such an obvious fact! I would not trust you, believe me. Such a person, as yourself, who don’t seem to know or understand such a basic fact of life is not something I would entrust my life with. And advice… from you? You can’t even live your life right!

    You deride your mother for giving wrong advice and now your given an even worse one. Are you having a midlife crisis or something?

    Well, you are actually correct in something. Someway you are a total and absolute failure and from what I could see, you still going to be for a very long time.

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