These are comments by John Schtoll and Danny on the post “Can A Dad Take His Daughter Clothes Shopping (and Other Indignities of Modern Dadhood)“.
John Schtoll said:
“I am so glad that what happened to you never happened to me. I would be in jail if it did. There are certain thing that pretty much send me over the edge, and being treated as a second class parent is one of them. I have had experiences similar (though not as bad) as yours and I have very much lost my temper to the point of having to walk out the door with kids in tow.
“I really just hate the mixed messages that society and especially the MSM sends dads, ‘We want you to step up’, ‘We want you to man up’ and then when dads do, they are literally stomped down for doing it.”
Danny added:
“That kind of double speak is what keeps Fathers and Families supplied in content to share and action plans to take.”
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Not to tell you to shut up and sit down here, John, but society sends mixed messages to just about anybody it doesn’t ostracize and hate. That message, at least, is loud, clear, and unambiguous.
Men in particular have been tasked with accepting, embodying, living contradiction. It seems to go along with our assigned role as Atlases who hold up the real world and keep it running. We have to reconcile not just contradictory roles and responsibilities, but negotiate between explicit expectations and those society will not own up to. We have to switch between opposite roles quickly and flawlessly – worker to husband and father, or in extremes, disciplined killer in wartime to nurturing provider in peace. Any hesitancy or incapacity is punished severely; there is no understanding, no forgiveness. But there should be. Society is just not ready to get it straight what it wants from us – or from anybody.
“Society” is not one person with a single point of view. It’s a many-headed monster, and the heads are constantly arguing with each other.
Just know that there are many of us whose hearts are deeply warmed by the dads who ‘step up’. After all, for a father to want to be with his kids is one of the most natural things in the world.
Those who criticize men for prioritizing parenting are just like those who’ve criticized women for wanting careers. We’ve just gotta keep calling them on their BS in order to make things easier for the next generation.
you have concluded and summarized the ideas. I never touch this kind of things ..~~so before I am a green hand~~ now i opened mental horizon~~~