This is a comment by on the post “Why Men Can’t Have It All“.
“Disagree. No one ever asks why men can’t have it all because we were never told it was even possible (and its not). I’ve always believed that to expect to ‘have it all’ was the height of entitlement and incredibly unrealistic. The message ‘you can have it all!’ isn’t ’You have to do everything’ but rather ‘you are entitled to an amazing career, tons of time to parent your kids, a super supportive spouse, vacations, etc., etc., etc. … ‘ It denies the existence of the trade offs the people have to make.
“Example: if I walk my son to preschool I cannot get into the office before 9. If I don’t get in before 9 I will be behind every other person in the office. I will be perceived as less effective and will be less promotable. I’ve got to make a decision about what is best for my family. As sole income earner my career is pretty important—the risks involved with me making sacrifices for the family are significantly higher than the same person in a dual income family. Given that the vast majority of single income earners are men—that’s what makes Dad’s with 3 kiddos at costco somewhat rarer than mothers. Anyway, I don’t tend to go to costco but if you want to see a dad with 3 kids shopping come to home depot or the farmer’s market any weekend.”