Kris and Dan talk about why they feel it’s important that our nation’s boys get attention. Violence seems to be a major outcome of harmful gender stereotypes and expectations. As Kris points out, we sometimes set up our boys for failure with a life full of messages about how they should not show emotion and are expected to be macho and “manly”. What do you think?
These are comments by Kris Huson and Dan Bulf on the post “Dear Mr. President, Our Nation’s Boys Need Your Attention“.
Kris Huson said:
I agree that we all need to pay attention to how we raise and rear our boys. Read Dr. William Pollack’s “Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood” and it will blow your mind. We need to dismantle the what Dr. Pollack cites as the Boy Code which teaches boys how to act and demands that they cover up their emotions.
Not only will boys be more successful in school, they will be empathetic and less prone to violence towards themselves and others. Violence is an exclamation mark on a long sentence which starts during childhood and the suppression of boys’ emotions by parents, teachers, coaches, clergymen, peers and society.
Dan Bulf said:
You’re right on about the need to support boys and men. Please note that President Obama has made efforts right here in Chicago. Plus, Mayor Emmanuel, former Chief of Staff, has made a big financial commitment to the effort and the First Lady was part of a fundraiser.
So, efforts are being made and its up to men like you and me to own the efforts to raise awareness and make an impact. We are not just descendants, we are ancestors – our young men need us.
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Photo credit: Flickr / sociotard
My father and his father and his father before him managed to be men without being violent – and they didn’t carry on about ‘reinventing men’ or carrying on hysterically about everything. Men don’t have to be feminized to avoid violence. It is called being a gentleman. If only The Good Men Project was willing to move away from the left-wing, politically correct view of the world – or at least acknowledge the traditional view at times. You would have a much larger audience and a far greater variety of views. You say “We are all in this together”. But… Read more »
Thing is, the stoicism and lack of emotional expression that is part of “being a man” has little to no positive value, especially as the definition seems to be shifting towards the lack of expression or even awareness of ones own feelings. That can only be harmful for us, and pushing back on that isn’t about political correctness, it’s about demanding the space to take care of ourselves. Whilst there is something to be said for being able to get things done despite our emotions, that benefit does not require that we ignore what we feel, nor does it require… Read more »