This comment of the day is from Joseph, on the post “It’s Time to Stop Discriminating Against Men (and Women)“
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I was briefly working for Portsmouth City Council as a finance officer in their IT department. During one of my appraisals they asked me if there was anything they could do to make my job easier, I asked for assertiveness training.
“Would that help?” I was asked.
“Sure, I’ve got to go round every week and ask for everyone’s timesheets. Everyone hates having to do their timesheets because it gets in the way of doing their job, but I can’t do my job until I have their timesheets, but all I feel when I ask for their timesheets is that I’m bugging them, and they give me excuses and then I feel sheepish about asking for them again, and I don’t feel taken seriously.”
My male manager had a think and then said thoughtfully, “I’ve asked for assertiveness training too. But the thing is the council only have an assertiveness training course for women.”
“So you just said ‘okay, sorry I bothered you’ then”, I responded with a grin.
“Yeah” he said and we laughed at the irony.
Why did being male make us less in need of assertiveness training?
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photo: angusf / flickr
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Obviously, you’ve been aware of this for some time. Even pre-1960’s feminist movement and of course during the full thrust of the movement, women have been lavished with countless books, articles, course, TV shows, educational series to assist in their development. And of course, this continues. I said many many years ago, when the feminist movement had rooted itself in modern society, that men were and would be left behind. 2013, as you have shown here, I was right. Where society bent over back word to not only accommodate but also promote the developing modern women, they completely ignored men.… Read more »
There’s a bit of a bind a lot of (American?) men find themselves in. On the one hand, we are assumed to be assertive and even aggressive in seeking what we want. On the other hand, we are also supposed to be stoic, independent, individualist, solve our own problems, and not seek help. These two sets of attributes don’t always go well together. Then, on top of that dilemma, we’re also defined by our usefulness to other people. If we are asserting our wants and needs, then how are we really being of any use to other people, especially women?… Read more »
I don’t know if comments on comment of the day threads merit their own comment threads (commentception) but if they do, I nominate this post ^_^