This is a comment by Deborah on the post “Hip Hop Generation Masculinity: The Story of Tupac, Biggie and Me“.
“But as the world turns I learned life is Hell
Living in the world, no different from a cell
Everyday I escape from Jakes givin chase, sellin base
Smokin bones in the staircase
Though I don’t know why I chose to smoke sess
I guess that’s the time when I’m not depressed
But I’m still depressed, and I ask what’s it worth?
Ready to give up so I seek the Old Earth
Who explained working hard may help you maintain
to learn to overcome the heartaches and pain.”
— Inspectah Deck, C.R.E.A.M.
“As a teenager in the 90′s, I was also heavy into hip-hop. I really felt a sort of kinship and identification with the M.C.’s, especially those who came from a more dark and thoughtful place as opposed to just making songs for parties or something. So why would a white girl from a comfortable family growing up in the suburbs feel such a kinship to these hip-hop artists? Even though I had yet to experience my first major depressive episode, I have always been very sensitive and I could see their underlying psychological pain from the beginning. I think that’s why I identified with them, because I too felt a similar pain, anger, and a separation from the ‘mainstream’ culture of America.
“I was always convinced that Tupac suffered from depression, was not at all surprised when DMX spoke about being bipolar, and could hear it in the verses of countless M.C.’s like Inspectah Deck’s above. So even though I came from a different environment, I was listening to men who I felt I could understand and who might understand me.”
Photo credit: Flickr / cagbay