“Younghood is not freedom. Instead, give adulthood a shot. It’s easy. Just be honest and real.”

This is a comment by Jordan on the post “Why I Refuse to Turn 30“.

“I appreciate your perspective around the modern confusion around the transition to adulthood, especially for young men. (I’m 31, turning 32 in a few weeks.)

“However, I don’t agree with your definition of adulthood. The way I read it, you’re defining adulthood from a perspective of powerlessness: that transition from no longer depending on your parents to having people depend on you seems phrased in a way that emphasizes being out of control. To me, what you’re saying in both cases is ‘I have to do something in order to meet other people’s expectations.’ In fact, that belief is what keeps us in adolescence.

“Actually, adulthood—and particularly manhood—is the recognition that we are responsible to ourselves. Things like careers, shacking up with your girlfriend, buying a house, getting a cat, or whatever else you want flow naturally out of that decision to be real with yourself about who you are and to take command of that responsibility.

“And let’s be real: ‘younghood’ is not actually that amazing. Younghood is totally disempowering. When you’re in younghood, you’re powerless and unable to create the life you want. You’re always escaping the judgements of the others that you have given your power to: your parents, your boss, your girlfriend, the ‘system’, the government. Actually, the only time you can truly enjoy, experiment, have fun, and be independent is when you’re an adult—when you take responsibility for yourself and integrate your head and your heart.

“I share your opinion that the changing attitudes towards career and relationship have shifted the way many young people think about adulthood. But that’s not a limitation. It’s just what is. Take it as an opportunity. Don’t buy the story about younghood being freedom. It’s not.

“Instead, give adulthood a shot. It’s easy. All you need to do is be honest and real. When you take back your power, everything else will flow in the direction of your freedom.