Comments for The Good Men Project http://goodmenproject.com Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:54:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Serious Discussion is Not “Wrath of Feminists” by Eric M. http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/serious-discussion-is-not-wrath-of-feminists/comment-page-2/#comment-102984 Eric M. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:54:56 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=55758#comment-102984 There has been less divisiveness and anti-male rhetoric. For those of us who prefer it that way. There has been less divisiveness and anti-male rhetoric. For those of us who prefer it that way.

]]> Comment on Getting Off: Can We Talk Porn? by Valter Viglietti http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/getting-off-lets-talk-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-102981 Valter Viglietti Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:39:03 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60145#comment-102981 "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." ;) (Henry Louis Mencken) Actually, I think usually that kind of people is projecting their own stuff onto others. You know, when you can't manage your own life, you mess with others'. :roll: Have you ever noticed that unhappy and troubled people are often the most advice-giving? :lol: “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” ;)
(Henry Louis Mencken)

Actually, I think usually that kind of people is projecting their own stuff onto others. You know, when you can’t manage your own life, you mess with others’. :roll:
Have you ever noticed that unhappy and troubled people are often the most advice-giving? :lol:

]]> Comment on Getting Off: Can We Talk Porn? by Archy http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/getting-off-lets-talk-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-102978 Archy Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:29:44 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60145#comment-102978 Julie, i think what's happening here is that some women are seeing one style of porn which is degrading, and many of the men who are defensive are probably watching other styles where the stuff she talks about doesn't happen like she describes it fully. I'm defending the amateur content that is good, the bad stuff I just don't watch because it bores me. What bothers me is when people start talking about porn in a sense that it's generalized that almost all of it is bad when I've seen quite a lot that is good. It's as silly as going after the movie industry because of action movies whilst ignoring other content that isn't violent. The amateur content, the home-made businesses and industry is taking off and there is a lot of content uploaded not for profit. There still is quite a bit of bad but there's no reason to hate the good. Maybe it'd help to say the Pro porn industry vs just saying porn, because it is insulting to assume nearly all porn is bad when many people make their own. Also porn addiction doesn't affect everyone, not every male needs more and more intense stuff. I've happily watched pretty much the same intensity for years and that's just quite basic sex I have gotten in a relationship. And I have to say it...SOME porn is for shock, and some is just quite normal portrayals of real couples having sex. "And a lot of things in porn seem to strip women of any humanity. " Is this ALL porn, Most porn, or some porn? Mainstream professional porn or amateur? Julie, i think what’s happening here is that some women are seeing one style of porn which is degrading, and many of the men who are defensive are probably watching other styles where the stuff she talks about doesn’t happen like she describes it fully.

I’m defending the amateur content that is good, the bad stuff I just don’t watch because it bores me. What bothers me is when people start talking about porn in a sense that it’s generalized that almost all of it is bad when I’ve seen quite a lot that is good. It’s as silly as going after the movie industry because of action movies whilst ignoring other content that isn’t violent. The amateur content, the home-made businesses and industry is taking off and there is a lot of content uploaded not for profit. There still is quite a bit of bad but there’s no reason to hate the good.

Maybe it’d help to say the Pro porn industry vs just saying porn, because it is insulting to assume nearly all porn is bad when many people make their own.

Also porn addiction doesn’t affect everyone, not every male needs more and more intense stuff. I’ve happily watched pretty much the same intensity for years and that’s just quite basic sex I have gotten in a relationship. And I have to say it…SOME porn is for shock, and some is just quite normal portrayals of real couples having sex.

“And a lot of things in porn seem to strip women of any humanity. ”
Is this ALL porn, Most porn, or some porn? Mainstream professional porn or amateur?

]]> Comment on Getting Off: Can We Talk Porn? by Archy http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/getting-off-lets-talk-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-102976 Archy Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:15:12 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60145#comment-102976 Erin, what are your views on home-made content or the couples who run their own porn websites? Erin, what are your views on home-made content or the couples who run their own porn websites?

]]> Comment on Are Women Contributing to the Demise of Men? by Archy http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/are-women-contributing-to-the-demise-of-men/comment-page-1/#comment-102975 Archy Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:08:08 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=59833#comment-102975 Oh wow, that's messed up. I don't think we have that in Australia? Sounds like the schools are being lazy and not really addressing the problems. Oh wow, that’s messed up. I don’t think we have that in Australia? Sounds like the schools are being lazy and not really addressing the problems.

]]> Comment on Bigorexia: Masculinity and the Pursuit of Muscularity by Jasmine http://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/bigorexia-masculinity-and-the-pursuit-of-muscularity/comment-page-1/#comment-102974 Jasmine Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:06:47 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60354#comment-102974 Valter, I can appreciate why it might seem that my desire for body acceptance may influence my position on overweight as not being inherently unhealthy, but it's not the reason I make these assertions. I've actually been steeped in the medical literature and research on the subject for the past several months (it's the basis for my thesis). While at the cultural level there is the pervasive belief that a state of thinness is necessary for a state of healthfulness, this assumption has been demonstrated, through research, to be inaccurate. Overweight doesn't make one inherently unhealthy, and it has been shown that, as you've alluded to, that some fat is not not entirely unhealthy, but can be important and a protective factor for an individual's health (for example, as women and men age, part of the reason that their fat increases naturally is because this fat serves as a protective factor). Also, the obesity 'epidemic' as a phenomenon has actually been created through medical discourse (moral panics are a method of social control that are highly effective). That's not to say that obesity is always benign, but that it is not always unhealthy. We speak of overweight in moralistic terms, but as Julie has mentioned, it's far more complicated than an individual being lazy or eating too much of the wrong thing. There is also some indication that it isn't necessarily that people are much larger than they once were (there has been a shift, but it's far more subtle than we're led to believe), but our discussions about bodies have evolved so that body fat has become a locus of social control (I'm getting a bit Foucauldian here, so forgive me if I'm sounding a bit esoteric). I understand that to consider this perspective, counter to the messages of weight and health that we're bombarded with from the time that we're small, can create resistance and cognitive dissonance, but it's just much more complicated than saying: fat = bad/unhealthy. Valter, I can appreciate why it might seem that my desire for body acceptance may influence my position on overweight as not being inherently unhealthy, but it’s not the reason I make these assertions. I’ve actually been steeped in the medical literature and research on the subject for the past several months (it’s the basis for my thesis). While at the cultural level there is the pervasive belief that a state of thinness is necessary for a state of healthfulness, this assumption has been demonstrated, through research, to be inaccurate. Overweight doesn’t make one inherently unhealthy, and it has been shown that, as you’ve alluded to, that some fat is not not entirely unhealthy, but can be important and a protective factor for an individual’s health (for example, as women and men age, part of the reason that their fat increases naturally is because this fat serves as a protective factor).

Also, the obesity ‘epidemic’ as a phenomenon has actually been created through medical discourse (moral panics are a method of social control that are highly effective). That’s not to say that obesity is always benign, but that it is not always unhealthy. We speak of overweight in moralistic terms, but as Julie has mentioned, it’s far more complicated than an individual being lazy or eating too much of the wrong thing. There is also some indication that it isn’t necessarily that people are much larger than they once were (there has been a shift, but it’s far more subtle than we’re led to believe), but our discussions about bodies have evolved so that body fat has become a locus of social control (I’m getting a bit Foucauldian here, so forgive me if I’m sounding a bit esoteric). I understand that to consider this perspective, counter to the messages of weight and health that we’re bombarded with from the time that we’re small, can create resistance and cognitive dissonance, but it’s just much more complicated than saying: fat = bad/unhealthy.

]]> Comment on Getting Off: Can We Talk Porn? by Eric M. http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/getting-off-lets-talk-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-102973 Eric M. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:06:45 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60145#comment-102973 Sorry. Been a long week. . . first sentence should have been: Why are some people so interested in what strangers do in the privacy of their own bedrooms or other private spaces? Sorry. Been a long week. . . first sentence should have been:

Why are some people so interested in what strangers do in the privacy of their own bedrooms or other private spaces?

]]> Comment on Getting Off: Can We Talk Porn? by Eric M. http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/getting-off-lets-talk-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-102972 Eric M. Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:01:59 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60145#comment-102972 Why do people feel who they don't know, and have nothing to do with do in the privacy of their own bedrooms or other private spaces? If you don't like porn, fine. Make sure your mate feels the same way you do. It's like anything else one feels strongly about. I understand not liking something, but don't understand the need to try to control what others do by trying to shame them. Why do people feel who they don’t know, and have nothing to do with do in the privacy of their own bedrooms or other private spaces?

If you don’t like porn, fine. Make sure your mate feels the same way you do. It’s like anything else one feels strongly about. I understand not liking something, but don’t understand the need to try to control what others do by trying to shame them.

]]> Comment on Serious Discussion is Not “Wrath of Feminists” by Marie http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/serious-discussion-is-not-wrath-of-feminists/comment-page-2/#comment-102971 Marie Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:54:47 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=55758#comment-102971 I miss Hugo and wish he was still writing for GMP. I miss Hugo and wish he was still writing for GMP.

]]> Comment on Does Masturbation End When You Move In Together? by “Even when we fantasize what could be, characters still don’t get to have sex once they’re married.” — The Good Men Project http://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/does-masturbation-end-when-you-move-in-together/comment-page-1/#comment-102970 “Even when we fantasize what could be, characters still don’t get to have sex once they’re married.” — The Good Men Project Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:49:41 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=59978#comment-102970 [...] This comment was from That Guy, in response to Joanna Schroeder, on the post “Does Masturbation End When You Move in Together?“ [...] [...] This comment was from That Guy, in response to Joanna Schroeder, on the post “Does Masturbation End When You Move in Together?“ [...]

]]> Comment on Are Women Contributing to the Demise of Men? by Danny http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/are-women-contributing-to-the-demise-of-men/comment-page-1/#comment-102968 Danny Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:40:47 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=59833#comment-102968 Which is odd when you look at how the women's movement lingo goes along the lines that women should have more freedoms and men should have more responsibilities. Which is odd when you look at how the women’s movement lingo goes along the lines that women should have more freedoms and men should have more responsibilities.

]]> Comment on Raising Genderless Children by Marie http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/raising-genderless-children/comment-page-1/#comment-102967 Marie Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:36:29 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60252#comment-102967 I read your post with great interest but cringed at the "mankind" comment. Mankind is a male chauvinistic phrase because it views the male as the "representative" of humanity. The phrase should have said, "who contribute to the general advancement of humankind's wellbeing." Studies show that people are more likely to think of both women and men when they hear a word like humankind. However, when they hear the word, mankind, they'll just think of men. I read your post with great interest but cringed at the “mankind” comment. Mankind is a male chauvinistic phrase because it views the male as the “representative” of humanity. The phrase should have said, “who contribute to the general advancement of humankind’s wellbeing.”

Studies show that people are more likely to think of both women and men when they hear a word like humankind. However, when they hear the word, mankind, they’ll just think of men.

]]> Comment on Bigorexia: Masculinity and the Pursuit of Muscularity by Julie Gillis http://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/bigorexia-masculinity-and-the-pursuit-of-muscularity/comment-page-1/#comment-102965 Julie Gillis Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:24:24 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60354#comment-102965 I've also seen my mother (not overweight) not exercise and eat plenty and not gain. So......? Some of this is based on cultural shifts and foods, yes. Some of it is though genetic and I see no reason to put additional body shaming onto people who can do amazing physical things just because they might look heavier. I for one, was a dancer and wound up with serious disordered eating and still to this day have to work very hard to eat normally. It's horrible. Health should be the goal, at any size and I mean real health of course, not McDonalds binging. I’ve also seen my mother (not overweight) not exercise and eat plenty and not gain. So……? Some of this is based on cultural shifts and foods, yes. Some of it is though genetic and I see no reason to put additional body shaming onto people who can do amazing physical things just because they might look heavier.

I for one, was a dancer and wound up with serious disordered eating and still to this day have to work very hard to eat normally. It’s horrible. Health should be the goal, at any size and I mean real health of course, not McDonalds binging.

]]> Comment on Bigorexia: Masculinity and the Pursuit of Muscularity by Julie Gillis http://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/bigorexia-masculinity-and-the-pursuit-of-muscularity/comment-page-1/#comment-102964 Julie Gillis Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:19:24 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60354#comment-102964 Wow. You don't know much about the newest research around metabolism and such do you? I am not, nor have ever been overweight, but I've had overweight relatives and I've watched them work. Hard. Very hard. Painfully hard to do the "eat less, exercise more" thing and it never worked. There are studies about hormones, leptin, aging and set points, not to mention some folks are bulkier genetically. Not to mention that the food in the US on average is crap. High in fats, artificial preservatives and sodium, it's no wonder our culture has gained as a whole. We don't do health well in this country. I am worried about obesity rates in kids and adults as well, but it's truly not so easy as to say, "Oh they are just lazy." That's what makes it see moralistic. Wow. You don’t know much about the newest research around metabolism and such do you? I am not, nor have ever been overweight, but I’ve had overweight relatives and I’ve watched them work. Hard. Very hard. Painfully hard to do the “eat less, exercise more” thing and it never worked. There are studies about hormones, leptin, aging and set points, not to mention some folks are bulkier genetically. Not to mention that the food in the US on average is crap. High in fats, artificial preservatives and sodium, it’s no wonder our culture has gained as a whole. We don’t do health well in this country.

I am worried about obesity rates in kids and adults as well, but it’s truly not so easy as to say, “Oh they are just lazy.” That’s what makes it see moralistic.

]]> Comment on Are Women Contributing to the Demise of Men? by JustAMan http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/are-women-contributing-to-the-demise-of-men/comment-page-1/#comment-102961 JustAMan Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:03:17 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=59833#comment-102961 Michelle, how do i get to be a male in your extended family so I can get out of doing that long list of duties you think men don't do on a daily basis? Oh, in addition to your list, please add to this man's duties: making enough money to pay all the housing, transportation, insurance and eating bills, paying the bills, saving for retirement, paying tuition, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, vacuuming, painting, snow shoveling, pest removal, getting up to investigate and provide "protection" when there is a strange sound in the house or just outside the house in the middle of the might, unclogging the drainage pipes, being the bodyguard on all family vacations, being the chauffeur, filling the gas tank, and on and on. Michelle, how do i get to be a male in your extended family so I can get out of doing that long list of duties you think men don’t do on a daily basis?

Oh, in addition to your list, please add to this man’s duties: making enough money to pay all the housing, transportation, insurance and eating bills, paying the bills, saving for retirement, paying tuition, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, vacuuming, painting, snow shoveling, pest removal, getting up to investigate and provide “protection” when there is a strange sound in the house or just outside the house in the middle of the might, unclogging the drainage pipes, being the bodyguard on all family vacations, being the chauffeur, filling the gas tank, and on and on.

]]> Comment on Patriarchy Shmatriarchy by Marie http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/patriarchy-shmatriarchy/comment-page-1/#comment-102960 Marie Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:02:44 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60457#comment-102960 The author should read Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy and Allan G. Johnson's The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy. Neither author blames men for it. This article is just another anti-feminist diatribe. The author should read Gerda Lerner’s The Creation of Patriarchy and Allan G. Johnson’s The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy. Neither author blames men for it.

This article is just another anti-feminist diatribe.

]]> Comment on The Signs and Symptoms of Combat-Related PTSD by Richard Aubrey http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-signs-and-symptoms-of-combat-related-ptsd/comment-page-1/#comment-102959 Richard Aubrey Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:01:33 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60589#comment-102959 My father was an Infantry platoon leader in the ETO. Some of his experiences stil bother him. We have an elderly neighbor who fought in the Phillipines. When he talks about what the Japanese did to civilians and prisoners, he can hardly speak. Would this be considered PTSD? Do we have an expansion of the definition? Or are we talking about something other than being bothered all your life? Like to see the cite for the eighteen suicides a day. My father was an Infantry platoon leader in the ETO. Some of his experiences stil bother him. We have an elderly neighbor who fought in the Phillipines. When he talks about what the Japanese did to civilians and prisoners, he can hardly speak.
Would this be considered PTSD?
Do we have an expansion of the definition? Or are we talking about something other than being bothered all your life?
Like to see the cite for the eighteen suicides a day.

]]> Comment on Patriarchy Shmatriarchy by Marie http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/patriarchy-shmatriarchy/comment-page-1/#comment-102958 Marie Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:59:12 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60457#comment-102958 But it was also men who prohibited women from going to university, voting, owning property and being equal members of society. Women had to fight hard to get their inherent rights respected. Remember that Aristotle said that woman is inferior to man. George Bernard Shaw also said that man is superior to woman. Thomas Aquinas said that a woman was a misbegotten man. Aristotle, Shaw, and Aquinas were considered great thinkers and yet, they got away with saying that woman is inferior. I can see why we needed a strong division of labor years ago but male dominance and misogyny? No way. I found the article quite unconvincing. It was just another anti-feminist diatribe. But it was also men who prohibited women from going to university, voting, owning property and being equal members of society.

Women had to fight hard to get their inherent rights respected. Remember that Aristotle said that woman is inferior to man. George Bernard Shaw also said that man is superior to woman. Thomas Aquinas said that a woman was a misbegotten man. Aristotle, Shaw, and Aquinas were considered great thinkers and yet, they got away with saying that woman is inferior.

I can see why we needed a strong division of labor years ago but male dominance and misogyny? No way.

I found the article quite unconvincing. It was just another anti-feminist diatribe.

]]> Comment on Why Men Hate Women’s Basketball by b ball fan http://goodmenproject.com/sports-2/why-men-hate-womens-basketball/comment-page-1/#comment-102957 b ball fan Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:58:39 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=44119#comment-102957 I disagree with your comparison of the WNBA and mens college basketball. College basketball has guys who can get their HEAD TO THE RIM. Boys High School basketball is proably a more appropriate comparison, but then again even high school has had guys like Lebron James with verticals in the 40's. Not a single player in the WNBA even has a vert in the 30's lol. The WNBA is around the same as boys junior high basketball in terms of athleticsm, and even then their are more junior high boys than can dunk than WNBA players. Why do people hate it? Because you don't see boys junior high school games being nationaly broadcasted like it's top notch b-ball. The ONLY reason WNBA is ever on tv is becuase it's WOMEN and it's like they expect people to watch just to be policaly correct or something. I disagree with your comparison of the WNBA and mens college basketball. College basketball has guys who can get their HEAD TO THE RIM. Boys High School basketball is proably a more appropriate comparison, but then again even high school has had guys like Lebron James with verticals in the 40′s. Not a single player in the WNBA even has a vert in the 30′s lol. The WNBA is around the same as boys junior high basketball in terms of athleticsm, and even then their are more junior high boys than can dunk than WNBA players. Why do people hate it? Because you don’t see boys junior high school games being nationaly broadcasted like it’s top notch b-ball. The ONLY reason WNBA is ever on tv is becuase it’s WOMEN and it’s like they expect people to watch just to be policaly correct or something.

]]> Comment on #30: Crutches by #33: Heartbreak — The Good Men Project http://goodmenproject.com/100-acts-of-male-goodness/30-crutches/comment-page-1/#comment-102956 #33: Heartbreak — The Good Men Project Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:53:36 +0000 http://goodmenproject.com/?p=60035#comment-102956 [...] #30: Crutches [...] [...] #30: Crutches [...]

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