I don’t know that the feelings themselves are invalid. The way that they are acted upon though has consequence. I know that regardless of whether my favorite sports team wins or loses, my life remains unaltered, but I still feel good when they win and am not happy when they lose. It’s OK to feel that way.

Do you notice a difference when you “talk shop” with men in the same industry? In my department, most of the techs are cool, but the most condescending guy (with everyone not just women) is also the least skilled. I’m wondering if it’s to hide insecurity.

There’s definitely some overconfidence on both sides of the argument: Gender – Nature or Nurture? However, the “all gender is a construct” crew are growing in numbers and in sanctimony, and against the evidence as far as I can see.

He just didn’t know how to approach women. If he knew you were interested in science and nature, he should have spent time asking questions even if he knew the answers to them. People like talking about things that interest them. They become more comfortable. They have a better time and that impacts their perception of the date. He could have even come up with a line like since I can tell the snakes apart would you mind going on a nature walk with me to set up a second date.

“mansplaining” in this comment thread has been compared to terms such as “henpecking” and “bitching” …but women have been spending the last few decades saying that henpeck and bitching are sexist terms that rely on negative stereotypes of women

…but we’re supposed to believe that “mansplaining” has a valid and useful purpose in the english language.

Why?

“when men talk to each other, do they not consider whether the other man may also know this info before they launch in like know-it-alls?”

Is a guy more likely to stop to help another man fix a flat tire or to help a woman fix a flat tire? Instead of being condescending, they may be trying to genuinely be helpful. Guys are less likely to offer other men assistance so probably don’t offer unsolicited advice. There may also be a societal influence, which instills a belief that men do not require assistance. If I had a choice between having access to an available social safety on condition that I’d have to hear unsolicited advice on occasion and no access to a social safety net, but I wouldn’t need to hear unsolicited advice, I’d take the social safety net with the minor occasional irritation.