Young male rage brings with it identity issues: masculinity, sexual desirability, ennui. Maybe the question isn’t how to get rid of it, says Dr. Damon Young, but what can we do with it?
Australia is a beautiful, friendly, rich country, which is generally peaceful and welcoming.
But at night its cities can be vulgar, violent, inhospitable places. It’s not just the vomiting, sexual innuendo and bad music. It’s the fights and verbal aggression. I recently saw two young blokes punching on over a few muddled words. They were friends, and it wasn’t yet eight o’clock on a Wednesday.
I was a schoolboy once, and I can understand the allure of macho posturing and physical confrontation. But when the boys are grown men, it’s not so innocent. This is an international problem: most boys get grazes and bruises, but drunk adults die from brain injuries, knife cuts and bullet wounds.
Some of the idiocy may be stopped by a greater police presence, more arrests, harsher sentences. Media campaigns might change some minds—well, it worked with drink-driving. But it won’t dissipate the rampant male aggression, particularly the explosive, adamant and irrational rage that often clouds the minds of young men.
This sounds like an excuse—it isn’t. It’s a partial explanation.
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Young male rage brings with it all sorts of identity issues: masculinity, sexual desirability, ennui and socio-economic factors. But whether its poor ethnic gangs or white, middle-class school boys brandishing bats, there is a common ferocity: angry, swaggering, immature aggression.
The question isn’t how to get rid of it, but: what can we do with it? How can we channel this into something less dangerous, and more productive?
There are many ways to do this constructively, but one is martial arts: teach boys how to fight. Take them to classes like boxing, judo, karate, kung-fu, ju-jitsu.
This seems absurd: surely learning to fight means more violence. Certainly, some young men are made more violent by martial arts—the macho atmosphere and praise for violence enhance their aggression, instead of diminishing it. And some professional fighters seem to grow more angry and unbalanced as they age.
But research suggests that young men who learn to fight in a safe, structured, respectful martial arts school are less antisocial. How does this work?
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First, the martial arts offer controlled catharsis. They get to fight, and fight hard – but against willing participants, under the eye of an experienced teacher, coach or trainer. They learn to be aggressive without being malicious.
Second, combat sports can increase self-esteem. Instead of needing to prove themselves in animalistic rites, martial artists enjoy genuine achievements: gaining grades or belts, executing difficult techniques, winning competitions. They learn there are better ways to get respect.
Third, fighting offers discipline. You have to train regularly, eat well, keep your fitness up, and set realistic targets. Maybe young men can combine this with Friday night drinks and thuggery, but it won’t pay off in the long run. Success demands commitment, and this means less late-night idiocy and more early morning jogs.
Fourth, fighting can teach humility. Confidence can spill over into arrogance, which can lead to more infantile self-assertion in the city. But there’s nothing like losing a fight to teach you your limits. Boys need to learn they’re not invulnerable—as a colleague of mine, a fine arts graduate, put it, “every 15-year-old boy needs to be punched in the face.”
Finally, the martial arts demand trust. In order to train well, you need faith in your teacher and fellow students. You have to know they’ll go light when you’re a beginner, and they’ll release their choke when you tap—and you’ll do the same. In this way, young men learn to be less antisocial, and more gregarious; they learn trust in others, and self-restraint.
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It’s no panacea; psyche and society are too subtle and complex for any universal policy to work. But it’s food for thought: don’t deny male rage, channel it into something safe and structured. Instead of just policing the streets, we might educate the angry mind. If we want them to be more civilised, perhaps we must teach our boys to fight.
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photo by superwebdeveloper / Flickr
This is an edited version of a column which first ran in The Age.
About Dr. Damon Young
Vocalyze
I’m with this. My martial arts background is why I didn’t do something to my evil, conniving department chair at a previous campus.
Good for you! Love the humor, the poetry of this episode. How does it help you in gender wars, aka “relationships”?
Good on you, Henry. Folks don’t realise how often violence doesn’t happen, because someone has self-awareness, self-mastery.
Good on you Damon for offering a solution. It isn’t an all and sundry solution but it will reduce the violence I believe by a genuine small amount and that is always a good thing. I used to drive a taxi and saw first hand young men being violent every Friday and Saturday night….we need to take action as a society and the sooner the better.
The big problem I see is that we will need government to champion this because one man on a blog or on the radio isn’t going to change much. I would love to see the government involved here as well as in my cause, that being better sexual education for the young.
That is my great dream which I will continue on with whilst I lobby whomever will listen.
Keep up the good work.
Clyde
For a while, I’ve been considering the possibility of martial arts in schools. But it’d have to be planned and evaluated very carefully, as I’ve read damaging reports of Judo in Japanese schools.
Global health depends on teaching non violence to young. Communication and preservation depend on it. Violence is the language of a desperate generation.
“But research suggests that young men who learn to fight in a safe, structured, respectful martial arts school are less antisocial. How does this work?”
What studies have shown this? I find this happens a lot with Good Men Project’s articles: claims which I find optimistic and engaging are made, but aren’t validated by anything because An Smart Person Said So. Forgive me if I offend, but my credulity is not not won that easily. Please, to all the writers for Good Men Project, back up your claims with something substantial.
As a self-identifying feminist, I genuinely love how you challenge male stereotypes and endorse such egalitarian goals. Yet, if you’re going to make claims which defy these heteronormative, sexist stereotypes, provide some backup behind them rather than trust the authority writing the article and assume they’re unbiased and have perfect knowledge of what they’re talking about.
G’day Dylan,
Thanks for your comment. I said ‘suggest’ in the article, as the research is still a growing field. As I understand it, not all martial arts can improve pro-social behaviour in all people. But those schools with pro-social teachers, who foster an environment of respect and trust, seem to have beneficial effects on students. I’ve listed some references below, taken from Byer’s overview in ‘The Psychosocial Benefits of Martial Arts: An Overview of Current Research Trends’, an Honours thesis I read when I wrote this article for The Age newspaper. Some are more generically about the effects of exercise on mood, most are specifically on martial arts (soft and hard).
Cheers,
Damon
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Nicely done, Damon.
JFB
Thanks, mate. Liked you monopoly piece, by the way.
I thought the article was amazing… I fight muay thai and talk about this subject incessantly. Dr. Young has some points, and some of these points may not have studies to back them up. Maybe you should go pay and join a martial art gym. Until you do that you have no right bashing his opinions. You know nothing of the benefits of the mastery of a martial art in a controlled environment. Therefore I would suggest that you stop posting your naive and ignorant feedback till you had expererienced a bloody nose and experienced giving someone a bloody nose… Or at least experienced watching the grace and respect that fighters embody when practicing this hobby. I say all of this with the utmost respect.
From my personal experience. The day I started to learn martial arts was pretty much the day I stopped fighting. It was like a light switch got turned on.
Yes, this is similar to my story. I got into fewer fights post-Karate.
To point #2 about self-esteem, I would also add that some bullies become bullies precisely because they feel insecure or are victims themselves taking it out on others. If they had the experience of disciplined, supportive sparring, they might actually be less likely to be aggressive. Being confident and centered enough to know that you can defend yourself makes you less likely to rush to a physical confrontation, less likely to be in the hit-or-be-hit mode.
In my limited experience with martial arts and self-defense, I have also seen by comparison how incredibly, idiotically clumsy you are when you fight in a drunken rage. Brawling is totally lame once you’ve learned some precise technique, which you can’t really do when you’re drunk or out of control. In a way, you’ll be less likely to fight angry once you have some pride in your abilities, and even be less likely to fly off the handle. Once you go a few rounds with someone highly skilled who remains calm and can even exploit your anger to make you fight poorly, you’ll see angry fighting much much differently.
Yes, getting tooled can be a profoundly humbling thing – you realise how your ferocity and malice count for little. Skill – and all that develops it, e.g. discipline, attention – is paramount.
Nice work re: Dylan’s post. Hopefully that is what he was looking in regards to references!
I like what you said regards being planned and evaluated very carefully….so true as even with my pet project there is going to be teachers who seek to exploit the young. Vetting them very carefully would weed out the worst but with humans there is always going to be a risk which is where the planning and evaluation you speak of would come in handy.
This is where I think we exploit the young by not putting schooling up as a national priority. Maybe if that was the case all boys of every flavour would be given the support they need to grow into strong and capable adults irrespective of their parents and parenting ability.
Gees I am a dreamer…boys sexually educated and martial arts trained to a point would be one great step for society in this country in my humble opinion.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Very smart (and courageous) piece. Learning how to fight properly makes you less afraid and being less afraid tends to make you less, rather than more, aggressive.
Pretty much any combat sport will do but I recommend boxing above all. In my experience, the psychological intensity of it provides the greatest potential for psychic healing, This for two reasons: 1) it’s the scariest (if you’ve never put on the gloves and squared off with an opponent, even a friendly one, give it a try and see how quickly the butterflies flock to your stomach) and 2) the cultural and historical baggage that comes with it provides an extra layer of psychological potency (boxing it out is, after all, the traditional way to settle a dispute “like men”). It is also a sport whose culture– because of, not in spite of, its “violent” nature– is imbued with paternal/fraternal gentleness and consideration.
I don’t know if boxing can do more than, say, MMA or Kyokushin Karate – i.e. I can’t recall any research on this question. (Although full-contact sport fighting can often be more anti-social than so-called ‘traditional’ arts, even when selection bias is taken into account.) But I agree that its intensity, exertion and status make it a perfect candidate for the kind of civilising processes I’m discussing.
“Psychic healing” aka Emotional Healing. For all: See GMP 9/6/11 for an timely injunction about men ‘doing the work’. The research also suggests (ANY of the ‘Boy book’ authors: Michael Thompson, William Pollack, Michael Gurian, Adam Cox et al) and/or insists that boys NEED a verbal outlet for this supposedly innate aggression and RAGE (which usually has sources in family, community, and peer relationships, and in some cases-trauma). ‘Talking it’ out infers problem-solving, rather than problem withstanding or enduring. I’m sure everyone, including Damon, understands that true harm-reduction strategies have their foundation on the hope that ‘each one teach one’ by actions, yes, but also through the understandings or insight that comes from mastering the skills of those elusive words for feelings/emotions. However, great post and more power and blessings to your work Damon, and all who read/contribute.
I think talking’s very important, Warren. And writing. And art. And craft.
But for some boys, their way into communication and creativity is a greater engagement with their aggressive instincts. Fighting provides this, and gives them an opportunity to re-form themselves. if taken in conjunction with other strategies (e.g. mentorship, writing, group sessions), I think it could be very productive.
Re: talking versus punching: I was, and continue to be, a very verbal person. I’m good at articulating a range of emotions, both positive and negative, and do not shy away from expressing feelings of anger, shame, fear, loneliness, etc. But the visceral experience of boxing opened things up for me in ways that years’ worth of words had not been able to. I wouldn’t trade the talking for the punching or vice-versa; both have been crucial to me.
Dr. Young,
First and Foremost, thank you for your contribution. I am a frequent visitor of the GMP, but this is my first post. As you will read, I felt a deep connection with your thoughts and perspective. I have been involved with Martial Arts for the majority of my life, and what you say is very true.
The most important element of martial arts training is being involved with a traditional program. As the saying goes, “there are no bad students, only bad teachers”. The school I attend focuses on character development first and foremost. If you are looking to learn how to fight, go somewhere else. If you would like to learn self-defense, you are welcome. When we teach children we make them memorize many “rules” and the Tenants of Tae Kwon Do. Some of these rules are “children shall always be truthful”, “children shall try to establish good relations with their brother and sisters”, “children shall willingly help with house hold chores”, etc. A new rule must be memorized and recited at the time of their promotion test. If they don’t know it, they don’t pass. This sets the foundation of their character at a young age. The 5 tenants of Tae Kwon Do (clearly displayed on the wall) are Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Indomitable Spirit, and Self-Control (the most important). These five words are simply to memorize but the meaning they carry IS a way of life. This is quite different from the “sport” of MMA. I would find it hard to believe if these lessons were posted on the wall of a “gym” rather than a Dojang (Korean term for “practice gym”).
In regards to being humbled, there is nothing more humbling than thinking you are a bad *ss and getting the crapped kicked out of you. My instructor is world class (a former world champion). In other words, the biggest, true “bad *ss” I have ever met. But he is the most kind and humble man I have ever met, not to mention one hell of a success story. Is this not the perfect role model for a young impressionable teen? When you are young and involved with martial arts, you learn self-confidence, balance and coordination, self-discipline, focus and concentration, as well as the character lessons mentioned above. As you progress, your technique becomes fine tuned, and you are taught things that can end lives (knowledge that is not passed down to anyone). Having the knowledge and the ability to take lives comes with a very high level of responsibility. With that level of responsibility, your average drunken brawl becomes a joke, literally. I am proud to say that I exercise self-restraint where ever I go, and I have broken up more fights than I have ever been in. True Martial Arts is not a way of knowing how to fight, but a way of knowing how NOT to fight.
Thanks, JTD. The only thing I’d take issue with is the MMA point. They might not have plaques on the wall, but many mixed martial artists have their own code. They still have to learn restraint, courage, discipline, and other important virtues. (They also fight beautifully.)
Dr. Young,
I did not intend to throw a blanket statement over all practitioners of MMA. I do agree with you that there are many virtues to be learned. But, I do think that something is lost from the tradition to the sport. I am a huge UFC fan. There are world class athletes with world class character (GSP to name one). They exercise respectfulness, kindness, humility, so on and so forth. But you also have fighters like Brock Lesnar (a gifted athlete no doubt) who lacks character. Many young people look up to Brock because he is a beast in the ring, and definitely good at his chosen profession. I think when you practice MMA simply to want to become a “fighter”, some of those lessons can be lost. Would you rather have your child have GSP or Brock as a role model? Your thoughts?
Yes, I agree that some role models give mixed or just dangerous messages.
But I suspect – I’ve no solid evidence for this – that this is more a problem with fans than with practitioners. To actually build up skills in MMA – or any martial art – takes more virtues than the average bloodlusting cageside screamer can muster.
Put simply, I think practicing a martial art is always better for one’s character than simply observing its elite.
I agree. i cant much to what already has been said.
i support yr thinking that theres need to be an outlet for boys (and girls of a similar nature), to express their full physicality in a structured and disciplined way
I did aikido for six years, and, later, karate for four. I liked the karate better because I felt it got at sheer aggression a little better. A sensei of mine suggested learning a jutsu-type art, a striking art, and a healing art. I would up becoming a Reiki master teacher also, so that was the healing art,
Great! So, following a similar sort of logic then, Dr. young, shouldn`t we be teaching inner city youth gun safety and handling as well as target shooting? After all, firearms are a notorious nexus of these masculinity issues you bring up and using them properly necessitates discipline and can bring self-esteem.
And, of course, none of these kids would ever dream of using their new-found skills in a bad way, because violence, after all, is all a result of personal issues and inadequacies and never, say, an honest (if deadly) expression of differing interests.
Excellent article, and I’m pretty sure I agree, but just to play devil’s advocate:
Maybe martial arts tend to produce more disciplined people because of the type of people drawn to them? Arguably contact sports should offer a similar experience (although I do see the huge differences) but just look at the difference in the temperment.
Is it just a cultural thing, rather than something inherant in martial art?
I’m all for it! *applause*
It’s a good post. I took taekwondo and did some weight lifting when I was younger. I remember my instructor saying “Turn anger into spirit.” Most of the people I know consider me a nice guy and are shocked when they find out that I was a kick boxer. I always told them that I’m not nice despite being a former kick boxer. I’m nice because of it. Most guys went through the asshole phase. They wore the taekwondo jackets with the tigers on the sleeve and back, etc. After a while they learned that there was much to learn and stopped showing off. Then they knew they could handle their shit and some started wearing the gear again usually by brown belt or so.
A lot of the guys combined weight lifting with this and that is where I would caution you. A bunch of us, me included, went on the juice. I could feel myself always looking for a fight. When I was on the stuff, I couldn’t get hurt. I didn’t feel the cold weather. That’s not something you want people to think.
One thing I didn’t like was sparring with girls. I always went half speed. In one march, I got kicked three times in the groin, which wouldn’t be that bad, but I wasn’t wearing a cup and the only three kicks she threw were front snap kicks to the groin. Luckily Master Chang saw the murder in my eyes and stopped the match because I had every intention of breaking the bone I came in contact with. A friend of mine wasn’t so lucky.
Overall, it was a positive experience. Before you were enrolled, you had to make a promise. If I remember the promise correctly, it was I promise to respect women. I promise to respect my classmates. I promise to defend women and the weak.
We could bring compulsory martial arts in to the school curriculum. However, once every boy (and girl) is doing this, the ‘bad seeds’ will still be prevalent, and a mastery of the more brutal arts will be misused by them for the purpose of intimidation. We all know the types of guys who provoke altercations and then use it as an excuse to do some ‘training’ on an unsuspecting, usually drunk, victim. Once everyone is trained, the same behaviors will be repeated by drunk adults out on the streets. It won’t be just the ‘zen’ disciplined types who have studied an art due to motivation, it will be every ‘Tom, Dick and Harry’. It is almost the equivalent to legalising personal (visible or concealed) gun permits, and having a bunch of drunk morons carrying them around while ‘painting the town red’..
(Australian)