Jim Higley says he’s the dad worthy of emulation.
I stopped worrying about being a picture-perfect dad a few years ago. And I actually think it’s helped me do a better job with this parenting gig.
As a young dad, I lived with a vision in my head about what a father should be like. Act like. And react like. I was pretty much the living, breathing version of the dad I imagined I should be—influenced by an assortment of things including my own life experiences, stereotypes, and my favorite television dad: Bill Cosby in his beloved role as Cliff Huxtable.
In truth, I was a caricature of what I thought I should be. Don’t get me wrong. I was a good dad. But I realize now how wrong I was in approaching my role.
You see, a funny thing happened along my journey of dad-dom. Call it what you like. Family crisis. Emotional struggles. A dose of cancer. A couple family tragedies. In truth, what you should call it is “life.” Real, family life. And what I learned through it all was the most valuable lesson of parenting I’ve ever received.
I learned the importance of simply being the parent my children need me to be. Not the situation-comedy dad. Or mom. But the parent. The adult. The protector. The teacher. The safety zone. The listener. The encourager. The beacon of light. And I learned the importance of being diligent in taking cues from my kids. 24/7.
And when I do that, even Cliff Huxtable should stand up and take notes.
—Photo AP/OnlineAthens
Absolutely, Jim. Though there’s nothing wrong with striving to be a model father, ultimately the journey is one of authenticity, not imitation.
Hey Eric, thanks for the note! You got the message correct. I LOVE Cliff Huxtable. The message of the story is a reminder to ME that I’m not Cliff Huxtable. I’m a dad to three kids who need me to be the dad that THEY need. That’s all I need to focus on. If I do that, focus on them, give up any stereotypes about the kind of dad I think I should be….and just lovingly be there for them, I will be the best dad to the three people who matter the most. Thanks for reading.
I like this. At first I was all in a huff, somebody dissing Cliff Huxtable, but I think I get your point.
I think you’re saying that life is rough, sometimes ugly, and sometimes really, really ugly. So, we dads are simply not going to be perfect, as Cliff Huxtable seemed to be, no matter the situation. I agree. Even the best dad’s are going to mess up but, like Jimmy V, we must never give or even let up in working to be the best possible dad that WE can be.