The bizzare ramblings of young boys and old men aren’t so different, after all.

Unless you still compute on a Commodore 64 or attempt to access the Internet by banging rocks together, you most likely heard of Sh*t My Dad Says. Looking over the wildly popular Twitter that inspired a wildly unpopular sitcom, it occurred to me 4-year-old boys and old men slipping not-so-gently into senility have a lot in common. They both pee their pants, get really cranky when tired and say absolutely insane shit that sometimes approaches inscrutably sublime profundity.

That’s when I realized my son’s rants about the zombie apocalypse and what his wiener is currently telling him to do might either be the product of a very disturbed little boy or a rabid genius. You decide; here are some highlights:

—Photo Debs (ò‿ó)♪/Flickr