Letting go and moving on… they sound so easy. Easy to say, easy to advise, but not so easy to do. Here is what happened, that told this dad, and divorce expert, that he had in fact, successfully let go.
—
I was speaking with a client today on this very topic. He shared how motivated he was to move on with his life now that the divorce is over. His marriage is legally over, but he’s struggling with the moving on part. Actually, he’s struggling with the letting go part. How many of us can or could relate? I’d venture a guess: ALL. Admit it or not, even when motivated to do so, letting go and moving on both come with massive struggles.
I remember a time when I just knew I had moved on. Then I was cleaning up a closet and found the wedding album. Another time I found pictures of a family vacation, or the anniversary card signed with love. Those each made for challenging emotional times for me. Then there was the first holiday as a single dad. The first ball game, the first school event, the first party invite…. Each kept bringing back negative feelings of angst, anger, sadness and everything between.
I’ve written before about my 100 Days of Positivity, about how low I’d gotten and how I got out of that rut.
In short: I got out one step at a time. After enough steps, I forgot about walking and began living. When I began living, those negative emotional triggers disappeared. After enough time and positivity, I forgave.
And, by being able to forgive is when I knew I’d truly moved on. I not only forgave her, I forgave me. I stopped punishing myself. It was liberating.
Only by designing my new life and persistently walking along that path, holding myself accountable, did I find freedom. I was free to take in, free to express, free to relish the moments and relationships, unbound by my past.
You too can do this. I’ve helped hundreds and am certain that anything is possible. Believe in yourself. Design your future. Be free to live your dreams.
After all, “Life is a Gift”. And you have much life to live!
~ bill
30 years of strategic, entrepreneurial business growth along with two brushes with death have earned him the tag “ResilienceGuy”. Bill Douglas is an accomplished Mentor, Coach & Speaker helping entrepreneurs & executives with growth and strength.
Reach Bill: CV | Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Blog
Photo: Flickr/Neal Fowler