You’ve probably never heard a graduation speech like this one. Here are 6 tips to prepare you for life after high school or college.
- Stop drinking solely to pass out. It’s what rappers call “WHACK.” It was never really cool to begin with; but more so tolerated in college (or God forbid, high school). You know what’s cool; being able to drink alcohol, enjoying your buzz, and having a great night, and REMEMBERING IT ALL. That’s what being an adult is all about. If you drink until you vomit every time you drink…guess what…you can’t drink. You’re what my friends would call “a light-weight,” and you should probably stick to wine coolers.
- Stop getting tattoos on your face. This only works for Lil’ Wayne; and guess what? It really doesn’t work for him either. Tattoos are all the rage. I get it. But please remember…visible tattoos are a 40 year olds reminder of what an idiot he/she was 20 years ago. They’ve become more acceptable, but a tattoo on your neck, cheek, or forehead could be a deal-breaker; for anyone.
- Stop crying at work, class, field, bus, metro, etc. You’re in tune with your emotions. I get it. Stop acting out. When it comes to the workforce, no one really cares if you’re upset, sad, or had a bad day. Your boyfriend dumped you. Nobody cares. Your dog died. No one cares. Someone stole your bike, WITH the U-lock on it. Nobody cares. Find healthy ways to get out your frustrations besides coming into work visibly disgruntled.
- Stop walking in your newly gentrified communities with white ear-buds in your ears. Look. Five years ago, your neighborhood…was The Hood. Now that there’s a Starbucks and a Quiznos, and you think that all is well? Not so much. Off the main drag, there is still low income housing, horrible roads, with loitering and screw-faced thugs with nothing to do, but look at all of the hipsters jogging in the beloved neighborhood that they can no longer afford due to property taxes. Don’t make yourself an easy target by being so oblivious to the history of your community. Oh yeah…that $2000/month “loft” you now live in used to be a roach infested crack house. Good luck with that.
- Stop paying for gym membership. It’s 2013. Gas costs $4.00/gallon. Milk is double what it costs 10 years ago, and Wendy’s doesn’t have a dollar menu any more. You want to stay in shape. Joining a gym will make your wallet lose weight; fast! Gym memberships are the most elite form of swindle known to man. They lure you in with commercials and “First Month Free” deals, only to charge you $99/month for the first year and $3000/month the 2nd year (exaggeration). Purchase some quality weights, a few work-out DVDs, and save yourself thousands of dollars. Besides, gym bathrooms and showers are usually the places where the devil hides out when he’s not in Hell.
- Stop documenting your life on Facebook. Facebook is awesome. We can communicate with long-lost cousins and show off to our high school buds about how awesome our dinner is. But we all know that one person that takes it too far. And we hate them, don’t we? We know about their promotion, their most recent concert, their new grey hair, and how awesome their dog is. And that was just before 10:00 am. Facebook has been out since 2005, yet it is not completely understood how it will impact our culture or its long-term impact. Social networking has its place in your life, but try simultaneously working on your interpersonal and public speaking skills. That will benefit you in the long run. And please stop “checking in” to night clubs. It’s tacky.
Good start also 7) Save at least 10% of your paycheck, put it in a box, don’t break into it until you are 65+, have cancer (or some other super serious expense), or have been unemployed for 3+ months. Are you living off rice, chicken, last weeks produce, and water while wearing cloths you bought from Salvation Army/Goodwill? no? then you can afford to cut your budget by 10%. You really can. The hardest million to save is the first, and as crazy as that sounds if you ever want to retire you need to think 7 figures. First, inflation.… Read more »