Bryant Cross has noticed that after he expresses his pain and anger about racism, white people want to “talk”.
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The other day I read a poem about police brutality at an art gallery. Afterwards, multiple white people began walking up to me trying to talk about race. This happens a lot. After I express my pain and anger about race, white people want to “talk”.
I refuse.
Why?
1. I’ve found that white people don’t really want to talk about it. What they really want from me is a “Black Pardon” card. They think somehow that all people of African descent have this card that will absolve them of history & privilege. The more cards you collect, the better.
2. Because they don’t want to talk about history & privilege.
3. Because history is still present but that’s not a conversation they’re willing to have. Instead they want the “lets move past this race thing and connect on our humanity” convo.
4. But humans are equal – which means privileges have to go. Of course, that’s not a conversation they’re willing to have either.
5. Because white people hate being called…white people. How can we talk about what you won’t acknowledge?
6. Because it’s hard to talk if I’m dead.
7. At this point you probably hate the “they” language. Well that’s because white people don’t see themselves as a culture. Rather they see themselves as the norm, which makes issues like privileges invisible to them. So I say “them” because there actually is a “them”. But they don’t want to talk about that either.
8. Because they don’t want to talk about history, privilege, black people who are murdered, whiteness and culture.
9. Phuck your Black pardon card. You ain’t getting one.
10. Talk to your white brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, pastor, deacons, police officers, bartenders, and whoever else is in your life that I can’t reach about whiteness, privilege, the murder of black people, and culture. Those are the conversations you need to be having.
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Now on the rare occasion a white person wants to talk with me about those issues and approached me as someone willing to listen than talk – then I’ll have that conversation. But those white folks are a rare breed. They’re probably off somewhere reading ‘White like Me” by Tim Wise, “Black Liberation Theology” by James Cone, “Fire Next Time” by James Baldwin, and a shit load of bell hooks which if they are – they wouldn’t ask me anyways because they’re doing the work themselves.
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Originally appeared at BryantCross.com
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Photo: flickr/Joe Sampouw
So we don’t and just continue as we are?
I have started the hard conversation about racism. http://www.37days.com/racism/
It’s not easy to start recognizing what it means to be white. What it means to have white privilege. And how difficult it is to accept white fragility.
It’s hard, but it’s necessary.
I don’t want to want the black pardon card anymore. I want to continue to have the hard conversation.
Sincerely,
Tom
I was recently banned from a Facebook site devoted to ignoring the discussion of white people on the topic of racism. It was kind of shocking, really, since my approach was all-too-non-confrontational. My point was to suggest a little patience for the ignorance of white people if you really want to educate. (Also, might have come close to being unfriended Tuesday for a similar sexism topic). As I am “guilty” of being white and male, my words will undoubtedly be ignored or heavily filtered through righteous indignation, but I’ll say them anyway: There is a point at which someone’s otherwise… Read more »
Yeah….sometimes you just have to be quiet and just listen to someone’s story… I got a ride home from a co-worker and her husband…they are both Asian….we traded stories about day-to-day living in the city…he ranted about the “lo faan” (non- Chinese people) and their unfair treatment towards him and other Chinese people….his wife looked somewhat uncomfortable (since she knows my husband is a “lo faan”), but I just listened to his stories sympathetically….I know I have had my share of dismissive glances and sneering remarks, but I can better fend off such slights now that I am grown up… Read more »
I agree. Things that ruin a conversation (a process of both listening and speaking) is being talked ‘at’ about something rather than ‘to’ about it. Another that shuts it down guilt by association, straw man arguments, the usual. Conversations that start as pleas for mercy or as accusations aren’t conversations at all. Good article. Good points
Just curious about application of the rule, because this is how my mind works. I’m fascinated by the ways that people construct and enforce racial distinctions. It sounds like in practice the policy is, more specifically, not talking about race with people who look or sound white.
How do you know the person is in the “white” category?
If it’s some sort of online venue, then how do you really know the person is white?
If you’re not sure what the person’s race is, then are they white until proven nonwhite, or….?
As long as people like you can make a living by talking about lynching, and salves and Jim Crow and hands up don’t shoot and claim the tag of 400 years of oppression the industry of racism will thrive.
When you and the fooled masses that follow the Sharptons of the world understand that racism is not the problem but rather the symptom things will change and until then hy I’m good!
I dont see anything about lynchings and slavery in the article. But any conversation about race must always acknowledge a deep, systematic oppression, and dehumanization of the entire population of africans in the US.
As long as people like you continue to want to bury the past and present conditions of blacks, we will keep getting stuck and blacks will still resent and not trust whites.
Well, at least you aren’t making a massive and sweeping generalization about one race.
From this piece, it appears I may not really miss not having the opportunity to speak with you – on just about any subject, really. But I am well-spoken and a credit to my race, so there’s that.
As a former Diversity Executive, I have a slightly different perspective on why many blacks don’t want to have the race discussion with white people.
Quite simply, they are tired. Tired of talking about it. Tired of trying to help white people understand. Tired of seeing that white people don’t understand. Tired of the knowledge that white people will never understand.
It is well known that issues of race affect black people physically. But less discussed is the emotional toll it takes. When do we get to stop having to explain?
Carolina I do understand why you get tired. And you do not have to answer my question unless you feel like it. The history in US is ugly and seen from the outside it looks like Americans are crazy about race…… But still I wonder if people of African decent see them selves as one ethnic group? Where I live it is taboo to talk about race. To do so is a way to say youi belive there is such a thing as real and huge biologcial differences between population groups in this world ,like different average IQ . So… Read more »
(Please forgive the spelling. Typing from a phone)
There are a lot of conversations that do need to be had. I am somewhat taken aback by the idea that people in general would be seeking a “black pardon card” ad an immediate assumption. It sounds like if I or anyone else were to broach a conversation that the only expectation would be that a lecture would follow. I am dismayed that white people in general are summarily viewed as the enemy, as a white person has just about as much control over their skin color as black people. Yes, I agree that there are certain systemic problems, but… Read more »
Jenny
I would also like a dialoge rather than more segregation.
Will Bryant Cross strategy create social change in the direction he want?
Personally i’d like then merely a pardon card from my friends when i might say something stupid. But the pardon would not be silent but a heartfelt communication that from their experience what i said was hurtful to the . Not as a group but to them so i can understand. I do NOT want to exonerate the entire white race. Nor the nazis and yruth be told i would be proud to be an Israeli. But i do want to be considered as an individial who you know, as i know you. I do not want to lump you… Read more »
I respect the author’s stance. His perception and life choices are his reality. What I hope for is compassion for each of us toward each other. Idealistic, I know. I do have a question, though: I’m white. I’m also Jewish. I have ancestors who lost their lives in the Holocaust. There is no history there handed down to me or my sisters or my parents — no pearls, no papers, no money. Nothing. No reparations from anyone. Only loss. How is it possible to justify that ALL white people have that privilege you mention in your article in examples like… Read more »
Intersectionality. We all have different degrees of privilege and they intersect. Imagine one main thoroughfare and different smaller streets intersect. Every person’s map is different. For you, being identified by others as white affords a lot of privilege (as it does for me), but for you, the history of oppressions facing Jewish people creates an intersection that my map doesn’t have. Mine may have different ones, more or less in different ways. We don’t know. What we do know is that you are both white and Jewish, which creates privilege in one way and oppression in another. They exist together… Read more »
Joanna, Thank you for mentioning the intersections of privileges. Intersectionality is basically the means of understand the structural and dynamic of aspects of marginalization. I would highly suggest to Rachel to research the writings and works of feminist, Audre Lorde. Once I started reading her thoughts of intersections of oppression, it opened the door for an authentic dialogue of biases, and ways in which you can dismantle them.
A really appreciate Rachel’s question and your input Joanna. I’ve always been curious of this my self. In American the media and all forms of political correct tackle things a certain way leaving all exceptions to the way side saying “this faction deserves” and “well you are privileged”. I feel it’s a huge flaw in the us vs them mob mentality, not to mention the whole ideology keeps us separated as people. Like the comment towards the bottom speaking of lo faan, sometimes you just have to remove yourself and listen to someone’s perspective with compassion as well as for… Read more »
I went to an anti-racism diversity training workshop all about informing white people about white privilege. At one point all people of color were asked to leave the room so that the facilitator could speak to white people alone. When one woman rose to leave, the facilitator asked her where she was going. She explained that she was Jewish and her ancestors faced many forms of racism. The facilitator told her to sit down, because she was still white. My jaw hit the floor.
P.S. I’m a different “Steve” from the one above, by the way. See the different icons.
Black Pardon Card is a white person getting some degree of acceptance from black people. Think about phrases like, “I’m not racist. I have black friends.” and “Oh that thing I just said about black people is totally okay, I say it around my black friends all the time.”
A free pass if you will
Thank you Danny.
Thats a real serious chip you’ve got on your shoulder, man. You just stay alone and angry. See where that gets you. All it will do is perpetuate your anger and your notion of “privilege” and mean that you’ll always see yourself as an angry outsider.
Real helpful attitude to take, man.
Steve, it’s quite a thing to assume he’s alone… or even angry except that he’s angry about racism in America.
Says a lot more about the commenter than the author when a comment assumes so much.
Bryant
May I ask what is a black pardon card?
Tell me more about this black pardon card. I agree privilege has to go. We’re all human. We’ve all had our share of hurts, some more and more personal than others. When a young white or black kid is screaming in my face i tend to shut down. I expect you’re the same. When white trash or black trash for that matter are telling me they’re the victims i ask about the opportunities they didn’t take. I think all people need to have the opportunity and ability to better themselves. Do we have that yet? Maybe. Maybe not. But that’s… Read more »
The thing is, that opportunity of which you speak is hidden to low income Black and Brown communities. Kids in those communities don’t have parents who are aware of the opportunities so don’t know how to ask for them. I’m reminded of this from mine and my husband’s experience as middle class parents navigating the college search process with out children. We sought out the opportunities we knew about and did OK figuring out the grants and loans process. But if it wasn’t for the progressive community and school district we lived in and the proactive guidance counselor my son… Read more »
That being said, i am far less reluctant to have the talk than the author.
I’m a mother…. i have huge stores of innate patience.
Just don’t push me by asking too many dumb questions or trying to make a bunch of moral equivalences or denying your privilege.