You can give generously without spending a penny. Go ahead. Make someone’s day.
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This morning, my boss sent me an email. We were discussing an assignment, and she wrote, “X is something you do best.”
How did this make me feel?
A little humble but also happy to be complimented for a skill I have spent years developing and acknowledged for something I work hard at doing. I felt seen, heard, and . . . recognized. Most of all, I felt inspired. Eager to get started on the assignment. Excited to use my tools to construct something of beauty and value.
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I believe the most important gift we can give anyone, particularly people we’re close to but also people we’ve never met before and especially people who tend to be invisible, is recognition.
Recognition of their contributions.
Recognition of their talent and skill.
Recognition of their worth and value.
There’s a spot in the psyche, a tender, vulnerable spot that, even for the most confident people, pulsates softly with a question: “Am I good enough? Do I matter? Does anyone see that I am here?”
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Recognition of their existence.
Recognition touches people deeply. There’s a spot in the psyche, a tender, vulnerable place that, even for the most confident people, pulsates softly with a question: “Am I good enough? Do I matter? Does anyone see that I am here?”
Recognition is a kind of validation but it is different from validation.
The Latin root of validation, valere, means to be strong. Think of valiant, as in the prince.
The etymology of recognition traces back to cognoscere, which means to know.
Validation is a source of strength, and a welcome one.
But being known, being understood, being recognized—this is a source of joy.
You can recognize someone with a well-considered compliment.
Or you can do it with a simple smile.
With a glance, you can recognize your partner.
With a tousle of hair or pat on the back, you can recognize your child.
With the words, “Thank you,” you can recognize a colleague or someone who serves you.
If you’re passing a homeless person on the street, you can turn your head towards them instead of away. You can stop and read their sign. You can say, “Good luck,” or “God bless you,” even if you don’t put any money in their cup.
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Recognition costs us nothing.
Regardless of resources, we can be generous.
Afterwards, we find ourselves not diminished but enriched.
Recognition is the greatest gift we can give to anyone.
This story has been republished to Medium.
Photo credit: Shutterstock